Dr Malie Coyne - Love In, Love Out: A Compassionate Approach to Parenting Your Anxious Child

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Malie Coyne 2020

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Source ISBN: 9780008332990

Ebook Edition: April 2020 ISBN: 9780008308148

Version: 2020-03-27

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To my beautiful girlies, Jessica and Aime,

you make my heart smile.

And to my Pete xxx

The parentchild connection is the most powerful mental health intervention known to mankind.

Bessel van der Kolk

Dr Malie Coyne is a Clinical Psychologist and Psychology Lecturer at the National University of Ireland Galway and sits on the Mental Health Advisory Panel for the A Lust for Life charity. With her considerable experience of working with children and families, Malie is fast becoming one of the leading voices in compassionate parenting in Ireland. Through her advocacy work, public speaking and print, radio and television contributions, Malie shines a light on mental health issues and promotes well-being throughout our lives. Malie lives in Galway with her husband and two little ladies.

For more of her work, see www.drmaliecoyne.ie or follow Malie on social media.

We live in an age of anxiety. This book offers practical and evidence-based strategies to help parents navigate this new world. It is written by a parent for parents. Love In, Love Out: A Compassionate Approach to Parenting Your Anxious Child combines the best of psychological science with heartfelt and practical advice for parents who want to raise resilient children ready for the world.

This is one of those books to keep by the bedside; its a go-to resource, a beacon of light and inspiration when the going gets tough as a parent in these anxious times we live in.

Dr Paul DAlton,

Head of Psychology, St Vincents University Hospital Dublin

Associate Professor of Psychology, University College Dublin

Fellow and former president, Psychological Society of Ireland

Childhood is often referred to as the best years of your life, and children are often described as not having a care in the world but that simply isnt true. Many children experience significant anxiety growing up. Sometimes its rooted in their or their familys circumstances, but often a childs emotional maturity just isnt developed enough to process their little fears, be they rational or irrational. And anxiety can consume a child and limit their enjoyment of activities, their participation in school or social events and their quality of life.

Parents can struggle to understand or deal with their childrens anxiety sometimes allowing their own anxiety about their childs anxiety to make the situation worse.

Malie has created a road map for parents who are feeling lost or overwhelmed trying to help a child who is anxious. A clinical psychologist and parent who herself suffered with anxiety as a child, Malie has a warm, practical approach to dealing with the issue. She focuses on the use of calmness and compassion, which allow children to reason their way out of anxiety and to develop resilience. Her emphasis is on making an anxious child feel safe, secure and able to express their fear whilst empowering them to overcome it.

Using mindfulness and kindfulness, the benefits of play and cognitive-behaviour therapy this book will demonstrate to children and their parents that struggles in life are normal and that they are necessary. Learning to master your anxiety and overcome its hold on you helps you to grow up stronger, more resilient and better capable of dealing with other struggles in life.

With simple, clear examples from her personal and professional experience throughout, Love In, Love Out is an invaluable aid to any family wanting their child to move beyond anxiety.

Dr Ciara Kelly MB

Journalist, radio broadcaster and medical doctor

What are your hopes for your children?

Id like you to take a moment and ask yourself, What three qualities would I like my child to have?

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If I only have one hope for my children, its that theyll be compassionate. Ive come to realise that being compassionate incorporates a lot of the qualities that many of us would wish for. This includes treating ourselves with kindness, having empathy towards others, engaging in meaningful and supportive relationships, showing gratitude, topped off by the icing on the cake commonly known as resilience.

Researchers are increasingly finding that the key to an emotionally healthy life is resilience. Resilience means learning to cope with manageable threats, while having the ability to rebound in the face of difficulties. Ultimately, its about accepting lifes colourful rainbow of emotions without becoming overwhelmed by them. The single most important factor that nurtures resilience in children is having a stable and committed relationship with a trusted adult, to whom the child can turn in times of challenge or need.