Harvard Business Review - Managing Your Career (HBR Working Parents Series)

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ISBN: 978-1-63369-972-4
eISBN: 978-1-63369-973-1

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CONTENTS

Managing your career when hundreds of hopes and pressures and intentions are attached to every sphere of your life.

by Daisy Dowling, Series Editor

Do legacy and freedom trump salary and prestige for you?

by Amy Gallo

Dont balance. Integrate.

by Stewart D. Friedman

Check your perception to learn and grow.

by Carolyn OHara

Find new ways to connect and communicate.

by Scott Edinger

A different type of family planning.

by Jackie Coleman and John Coleman

Adventures in alternative work arrangements.

by Michele Benton

Propose something that works for youand your org.

by Amy Gallo

One moms story of juggling a career with three kids.

An Interview with Kristin McElderry by Amy Gallo

Assess the impact on your family.

by Rebecca Knight

Transition from one role to the next with grace.

by Daisy Dowling

First, decide what you want.

by Lisa Quest

CEO, mentor, partner, parent, child (and personal chef, party planner, mediator).

by Carrie Kerpen

Curiosity, communication, and initiation.

by Jennifer Petriglieri

Design your vision together.

by Avivah Wittenberg-Cox

When no one throws you a your mom broke her hip party.

by Liz ODonnell

Find your tribe.

by Alison Beard

Assemble trusted advisers for every aspect of your life.

by Priscilla Claman

Maintain connections.

by David Burkus

It happens just as fast as people say.

by Avivah Wittenberg-Cox

INTRODUCTION

The Same, but Completely Different

by Daisy Dowling

I had just been offered a dream job: the chance to kickstart a career-development and coaching service inside a big, growing, financially healthy organization, working with people I liked. The gig would come with a higher salary, a ton of senior exposure, and a swank midtown office. It was just the kind of juicy, good-from-every-angle career opportunity Id been hoping for.

But was I really ready to leave a comfortable job at a great company to leap into the unknown when, as a parent of a young child, I had crazy-big responsibilities at home? (You know the ones Im talking about.) Even if I were poised to take that risk, I didnt have any sponsors or supporters at Dream Co., and Id have to work much longer hours to prove myself, which meant more time away from my family. This kind of job didnt come along often, and these days I wasnt networking or getting out on the job market very much. And as my daughter grew, I wanted to spend even more time with her, so that wasnt going to change anytime soon.

I was spinning: mentally careening between home and work, work and home, with what felt like hundreds of hopes and pressures and intentions attached to each. Despite earning my living as a career and leadership expert, I didnt know how to fulfill my own professional interests and ambitions while being the loving, present parent I wanted to be. I felt confused and alone.

Of course, I wasnt. Every working parent faces this daunting, unexplained, and complex phase of professional life when were not just building our careersbut building our careers as working parents. Maybe youve just welcomed your first child and are trying to figure out a workable schedule. Or youve got older kids and want to pedal-to-the-metal itor take a break or make a changein your professional life but arent sure how. Maybe you dont have a lot of working-parent role models in your field or organization. Maybe the flextime or sponsorship that a new mom might ask for doesnt feel accessible for you as a dad, a parent of an older kid, a member of an LGBTQ+ family, or a foster parent. Or perhaps all the standard practices youve used to push yourself forward professionally dont seem to be working so well now.

Whatever the specifics, I can assure you youre not aloneI see evidence of that every day in my role as career coach to working parents. Ive yet to meet one who has an innate, clear view of how to fit career and family together. The kid-plus-career challenge is so complex, individual, and dynamic that there are no silver bullets; it cant be solved through intuition or with any single approach or system. So, dont beat yourself up. Youre not the problemthe problem is the problem. Were all grappling with this.

Heres my favorite big-picture way to make that grappling seem a little easier. Try thinking about general career management just as you would good nutrition. Its essential to your professional health, at every phase. Kids or no kids, you cant build a great career without self-advocacy, networking, good communication, sufficient risk taking, soliciting feedback, and so on. But when you become a parent, you need to change your diet, just a little: Youll want to start seasoning your food more to taste, so that it suits