John Grabowski - Raising Catholic Kids for Their Vocations

W hen we were first contacted by the Word Among Us Press about writing this book, we almost declined the offer. John already had four other book projects lined up and at various stages of completion and thought that one more would be too much. Initially Claire also decided against it, thinking we were being asked to write a work about marriage. We were in the process of finishing one on that topic and there were already so many available. However, when Claire learned the real subjectraising children for their future vocations (particularly marriage)she said, We have to write that book! After some prayerful reconsideration, John agreed.

It seems that Claires discernment was the right one because everyone we have subsequently told about the project has spoken of the need for such a book or offered some variation of, You have to write that! Sometimes God does not leave much doubt about his will in a given situation.

But why is such a book needed? Raising children is something that Christian parents have done for generations. Christian tradition offers much wisdom on how to go about it, from Scripture to the Church Fathers to the lives of the saints. Contemporary psychology also offers many insights which are enormously helpful to both new and experienced parents. With all of these resources available, why another book? For significant reasons.

The situation of Christian families at the beginning of the twenty-first century is different in important respects from that of previous generations. This is due to new emphases in the teaching and ministry of the Church as well as to changes in the culture in which we live. We will discuss these in greater detail in the pages that follow, but it is worth briefly describing some of them here.

The universal call to holiness recovered and reemphasized in the teaching of the Second Vatican Council has led to a greater focus on the role and mission of the laity in the Church. This has caused the Churchs pastors to focus more on the life and mission of Christian families. After all, if lay Christians, like clergy and religious, are called to holiness and most lay people marry and raise families, we need to think more fully about what holiness looks like in this state of life. This in turn requires us to consider how best to form persons to enter into such a state and flourish in it as Christians.

Clergy and consecrated religious undergo intense formation before and after their ordination or vows. Those who are married are also entering into a lifelong state in which they are called to grow in holiness and live out their mission as followers of Jesus. The Pre-Cana instruction engaged couples receive is not adequate to equip them to respond to this call. Therefore, much of the formation of those who are married must take place before the engagement and after the wedding. This book focuses on the former (from the perspective of children) and the latter (from the perspective of their parents).

At the same time, the culture around us in the Western world has changed in significant ways. It is in many ways a post-Christian culture in which the imprint of Christian faith and moral teaching is increasingly receding from public life and social interchange. Many observers also argue that it is increasingly a post-marriage culture since fewer people marry, divorce has become commonplace, and the very understanding of what constitutes marriage has been reshaped to accommodate individually specified identities and desires.

In such a culture, Christian parents seeking to raise their children in a way that prepares them to live out the call to holiness in their future marriage or in religious life cannot count on much by way of social support and reinforcement from government or the wider society. Todays parents therefore need to be much more intentional about passing on and forming their children in the faith than parents just a few generations ago. In raising Christian children, they will encounter challenges not faced by their grandparents or even their parents before them.

This book seeks to help equip parents for that increasingly challenging task. We make no claim that it is exhaustive or definitive. We try to distill some of the wisdom of Scripture and the Churchs traditionespecially as articulated in the Churchs recent teaching on familyand make it accessible to parents and religious educators. We also share some of our own experience as parents, grandparents, godparents, and participants in various forms of marriage and family ministry. As readers will see, this experience is drawn from both our successes and our failures. Like Saint Augustine in his Confessions and Saint Paul in his struggle with his thorn in the flesh (cf. 1 Cor 12:710), we have come to see that it is often in our failures and weakness that we can most fully see and appreciate Gods mercy, grace, and power in our lives. Through walking with other Christian families, we know that we are not unique in this regard.