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John C. Friel - Adult children: the secrets of dysfunctional families

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It is estimated that as many as 34 million people grew up in alcoholic homes. But what about the rest of us? What about families that had no alcoholism, but did have perfectionism, workaholism, compulsive overeating, intimacy problems, depression, problems in expressing feelings, plus all the other personality traits that can produce a family system much like an alcoholic one? Countless millions of us struggle with these kinds of dysfunctions every day, and until very recently we struggled alone. Pulling together both theory and clinical practice, John and Linda Friel provide a readable explanation of what happened to us and how we can rectify it.

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title Adult Children The Secrets of Dysfunctional Families author - photo 1

title:Adult Children : The Secrets of Dysfunctional Families
author:Friel, John C.; Friel, Linda D.
publisher:Health Communications, Inc.
isbn10 | asin:0932194532
print isbn13:9780932194534
ebook isbn13:9780585104553
language:English
subjectAdult children of alcoholics, Adult children of narcotic addicts, Adult children of dysfunctional families.
publication date:1988
lcc:HV5132.F75 1988eb
ddc:362.2/92
subject:Adult children of alcoholics, Adult children of narcotic addicts, Adult children of dysfunctional families.
Page i
Adult Children
The Secrets of Dysfunctional Families
John C. Friel
Linda D. Friel
Picture 2
Health Communications, Inc.
Deerfield Beach, Florida
Page ii
John C. Friel, Ph.D.
Linda D. Friel, M.A.
Friel & Counseling Associates
Arden Hills, Minnesota
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Friel, John C., 1947
Adult children.
1. Adult children of alcoholics. 2. Adult children
of narcotic addicts. 3. Problem families. I. Title.
II. Title: Dysfunctional families.
HV5132.F75 1988Picture 3362.2'92Picture 487-25037
ISBN 0-932194-53-2
1988 John and Linda Friel
ISBN 0-932194-53-2
All rights reserved. Printed in the United States of America. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise without the written permission of the publisher.
Published by Health Communications, Inc.
Enterprise Center
3201 SW 15th Street
Deerfield Beach, FL 33442
Page iii
Dedication
This book is dedicated to our family system. To our parents, Elden
and Alice Friel and Lloyd and Phyllis Olund; to our brothers and
sisters, Bill and Nancy Mcintyre, Rich Friel, Steve and Margo
Bateson; and to our nieces and nephews, Brian and Carrie McIntyre,
John Michael, Mark and Mary Friel. And especially to our children,
Kristin, Rebecca and David that their lives may be full and warm and true.
Acknowledgments
We would like to thank all the friends, mentors and colleagues who have shared in and contributed to our professional development and personal recovery: Terry Kellogg, Robert Subby, Lawrence Murphy, Robert Milligan, Lawrence and Sandra Weiss, John Nesselroade, John Cone, Charlie Olsen, Walt Ayotte, Bill Byxbee, Richard and Maureen Oevirtz, Diane Naas, Suzanne James, James Maddock, John Nolan, Richard V. Anderson, Arlene Katchmark, Mary Pietrini, Mary Bell, Lynn Brennan, Lynda Winter, Stan Huff, Evelyn Leite, Linda Murdock, Ken Adams, Bruce Smoller, Virginia Leone and Chuck Ellwanger.
Special Thanks
Special thanks to Arlene Katchmark for her tireless contribution to the preparation of this manuscript.
Page v
About The Authors
John C. Friel, Ph.D., is a psychologist in private practice in St. Paul, Minnesota; Director of the St. Paul/Minneapolis Lifeworks Clinic, an intensive, short-term treatment program for Adult Child, Codependency, Addiction and compulsivity issues; and adjunct Associate Professor of Psychology at St. Mary's College Graduate Center in Minneapolis. Dr. Friel earned his B.A. in psychology from the University of San Francisco in 1969, and his Ph.D. in psychology from West Virginia University in 1976. He is a nationally recognized author, trainer, speaker and consultant in the areas of dysfunctional family systems, co-dependency, adult child issues, stress and addictions; and has worked in these areas with the University of Minnesota Medical School, the Gillette Company, Graco Corporation, NCR/Comten, the Minnesota State Bar Association and numerous other corporations, state agencies, treatment centers, hospitals and small businesses. A native of Marin County, California, Dr. Friel has lived in Minnesota since 1973.
Linda D. Friel, M.A., C.C.D.P., specializes in therapy for Adult Children, Co-dependency issues and for Survivors of Physical, Sexual and Emotional Abuse. She designed and implemented one of the first hospital-based co-dependency treatment programs in the United States, and is also a nationally-recognized author, trainer and consultant in the areas of dysfunctional families, co-dependency, adult child issues and addictions. A native of Minneapolis, Linda earned her B.A. from Mankato State University in 1971, taught special education classes for eight years and earned an M.A. in Counseling and Psychological Services from St. Mary's College in Minnesota in 1980.
Page vii
Preface
The examples and case studies used throughout this book are composites of individuals and families with whom we have worked over the years. The details and specifics of the cases, such as geographical location, job descriptions and names, have been changed for purposes of anonymity. In all other respects these are very typical cases of Adult Children.
Throughout this book we have tried to use case examples that typify different symptoms and addictions so that the reader can get a feel for the variety of dysfunctional lifestyles that develop in Adult Children. By no means have we been able to exemplify in the case studies all of the possible dysfunctional lifestyles and symptoms that can occur. In truth, there are as many case examples as there are people.
As we try to stress throughout this book, recovery is not something that can be done alone; and in many cases, it cannot be done without professional help. A book such as this is written to provide what we feel can be helpful information as part of a much more comprehensive program of recovery.
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