Nagalakshmi Shanmugam - The Forgotten Secrets of A Magical Marriage

Nagalakshmi Shanmugam 2016

First Edition 2016

Published in India by:

Embassy Book Distributors

120, Great Western Building,

Maharashtra Chamber of Commerce Lane,

Fort, Mumbai 400 023, India

Tel: (+9122) -30967415, 22819546

Email: info@embassybooks.in

www.embassybooks.in

ISBN: 978-93-85492-94-5

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Cover design by Sonal Churi

Typesetting and layout for Kindle by PSV Kumarasamy

This book is dedicated to my aunt

Dr B. Kannamma and

my uncle Dr K. Balasubramanian,

two amazing matchmakers

who laid the foundation

for the fantastic marriage

I am enjoying with

my husband every single day.

Foreword

Jack Canfield

Originator of the

Chicken Soup for the Soul series

and Americas #1 Success Coach

I first met Nagalakshmi seven years ago when she came to the United States to attend my first Train the Trainer workshop, which was a year-long intensive professional training program focused on teaching the principles of success and facilitating individual and group transformation. I was instantly struck by the eagerness and commitment she displayed throughout the program. She was not only an inspiration to all those present, but also a fantastic speaker, as we soon learned when she conducted The Passion Test workshop for the whole group.

Since then weve kept in touch, and we had the chance to meet again in Mumbai a few years later. I learned that apart from conducting seminars and giving speeches on the Success Principles, she had also started translating books from English to Tamil. Her translated works include two of my own books, The Success Principles and Dare to Win . Given the personal transformation that she has undergone, its not surprising that she has taken the next step and written her own book. And Im pleased to say that she has done a great job with The Forgotten Secrets of a Magical Marriage !

At a point when the divorce rate is rampant in the society, this book is extremely fitting and timely. Nagalakshmi reveals that staying married and enjoying it is not limited to a lucky few couples, but it is within the reach of anyone who aspires for it. And as someone who has been enjoying a blissful marriage for the past twenty plus years, she is undoubtedly qualified to talk about what goes into cultivating a great relationship. The simple yet powerful ideas presented in this book will help you create, and more importantly, sustain a wonderful and fulfilling relationship with your spouse.

Nagalakshmi beautifully interweaves the forgotten secrets with true stories of couples in this book, making it an interesting and captivating read, and the personal experiences from her own marriage that she shares are both engaging and touching.

This book takes into consideration the problems created by the fast-paced modern life that we lead and offers practical solutions to resolve them. It does not ignore the struggles we encounter when it comes to prioritizing between our career, our spouse, our children, and our extended family. The Forgotten Secrets of a Magical Marriage skillfully mixes traditional wisdom with contemporary practices and offers them in a straightforward and thought-provoking manner.

You know, when Nagalakshmi came for her second training session, she mentioned that one of her ambitions was to write a book that would change the lives of millions of people. Im delighted that her dream is quickly turning into a reality, and Im sure that all couples will benefit immensely by reading and implementing the secrets in this book.

I wish you the very best as you read this book and create a magical marriage!

- Jack Canfield

California, USA

October 2016

Introduction

The highest happiness on earth is in marriage.

Every man who is happily married

is a successful man even if

he has failed in everything else.

- William Lyon Phelps

American scholar and critic

Life is an amazing gift and the whole purpose of life is happiness. We all are in pursuit of this elusive thing called happiness, although everyone has a different idea about what actually brings true happiness. Generally, we feel that possessing something, accomplishing something, or becoming someone will bring us joy, but when we achieve our goal, we realize that we are still not happy. Some people feel that getting married will bring them happiness, but when they get married with only their own happiness in mind, they soon start wondering whether it was a good idea to have gotten married in the first place. They think that the idea of marriage being a blessing is a myth because reality is in stark contrast to what they imagined about their wedded life. What they fail to realize is that marriage is not merely about personal happiness. Its about loving the other person unconditionally and expressing that love through appreciation, recognition, listening, forgiveness, sacrifice, service, and intimacy. Happiness is a byproduct of a marriage rich in love. Love is what turns an ordinary marriage into a magical marriage.

No other event in life is celebrated with as much fanfare as a marriage. Every religion recommends it, celebrates it, and honors it. Every philosophy and every ideology endorses it. Marriage is one of the most beautiful relationships in the world. It is a lifelong partnership between two people who wholeheartedly love each other and are truly committed to each other. It is a unique relationship because it is the only one that allows you to play different roles depending on the situation. Your mother plays an important role in your life, as do your father, brothers, sisters, and relatives. Your children, friends, teachers, employers, and colleagues also play a significant role in your life. Each one of them plays their part, but your spouse is the only one who performs the roles of all these individuals combined. All those who helped shape you will only accompany you up to a certain point in life, unlike your spouse. Your spouse is the one who single-handedly makes an enormous difference in every aspect of your life. A marriage is the ultimate relationship where you find truly everlasting joy by loving someone more than you love yourself and doing everything you can to make sure they feel loved and cherished.

Marriage is an extreme sport

Most of us marry with only a very vague idea about the union called marriage. Unfortunately, there is no user manual for a happy marriage. The advice or rather well-intentioned ill-advice that we receive from others isnt helpful in the long term. We end up learning about how to have a happy marriage by observing other couples who themselves are trying to figure it out by trial and error. It is entirely up to us whether we want to make our wedded life a happy experience or a fierce battleground. When you look around, you see so many couples who are just living their lives aimlessly and unenthusiastically. They dont seem to know where they are heading or what they are trying to accomplish. They merely exist. But it is those couples who have a very clear intention about their wedded life and who have determined their common purpose in their life together, who really create a magical marriage for themselves. These couples ensure that they do not fall prey to the usual mad race for material possessions, because they have learned that doing so will only lead to a disastrous and regretful marriage.