Michelle Shreeve - Parental Death: The Ultimate Teen Guide

Parental Death

It Happened to Me

Series Editor: Arlene Hirschfelder

Books in the It Happened to Me series are designed for inquisitive teens digging for answers about social issues, certain illnesses, or lifestyle interests. These books feature up-to-date information, relatable teen views, and thoughtful suggestions to help you figure out stuff. Besides special boxes that highlight singular facts, each book is enhanced with the latest reading lists, websites, and other recommendations.

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Parental Death

The Ultimate Teen Guide

Michelle Shreeve

ROWMAN & LITTLEFIELD

Lanham Boulder New York London

Published by Rowman & Littlefield

An imprint of The Rowman & Littlefield Publishing Group, Inc.

4501 Forbes Boulevard, Suite 200, Lanham, Maryland 20706

www.rowman.com

Unit A, Whitacre Mews, 26-34 Stannary Street, London SE11 4AB

Copyright 2018 by The Rowman & Littlefield Publishing Group, Inc.

All rights reserved . No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means, including information storage and retrieval systems, without written permission from the publisher, except by a reviewer who may quote passages in a review.

British Library Cataloguing in Publication Information Available

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Names: Shreeve, Michelle, 1984 author.

Title: Parental death : the ultimate teen guide / Michelle Shreeve.

Description: Lanham : Rowman & Littlefield, [2017] | Series: It happened to me ; No. 56 | Includes bibliographical references and index.

Identifiers: LCCN 2017036144 (print) | LCCN 2017055958 (ebook) | ISBN 9781442270886 (electronic) | ISBN 9781442270879 (hardback : alk. paper)

Subjects: LCSH: Teenagers and death. | ParentsDeathPsychological aspects. | BereavementPsychological aspects. | MESH: Maternal deprivation.

Classification: LCC BF724.3.D43 (ebook) | LCC BF724.3.D43 S47 2017 (print) | DDC 155.9/370835dc23

LC record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2017036144

The paper used in this publication meets the minimum requirements of American National Standard for Information SciencesPermanence of Paper for Printed Library Materials, ANSI/NISO Z39.48-1992.

Printed in the United States of America

To God; my husband, Chris; my late mother, Kathy; my father, Dave; my brother, Mike; my grandparents; my extended family; my in-laws; and my closest friends:

Thank you for guiding me along this journey after losing my mother at a young age.

Your love and support enabled me to write this book.

To parentless teens everywhere:

May there finally be a book that speaks directly to you

and that can help you understand what you are going through.

Acknowledgments

I have to be honest with you. I am not the sole author of this book. It has been compiled through twenty-four years of research and my own experience coping with my mothers death in 1993 when I was nine years old. It contains advice, research, and lessons I have learned the hard way, research and suggestions from experts, as well as insights from parentless children and adults I have come across and teens I have mentored; it was written with the love and support of God, my husband, my family, friends, coaches, teachers, and peers I met during this journey. In a way, I feel like this book has been written by the world, and I feel like I should not get credit for it. Many people have had a hand in this bookyou know who you are, and I just wanted to thank you all for helping me write this.

With the limited amount of space I am given to acknowledge those who had a part, I do have a few I would like to thank. First, I want to thank God for believing in me to carry out this task and for thinking I was strong enough to handle the responsibility that came with writing this book. God, you also guided me over the last twenty-four years of coping with my own mothers death, and I just want to thank you for never giving up on me, even though I may have felt like giving up on myself at times.

Many thanks go to my wonderful and very supportive husband, Chris, my best friend. You have literally witnessed the stress, the frustration, the lack of sleep; dealt with the microwaved meals, the tears, the tooth with a hat, and everything else that has gone into writing this booknot to mention the late nights where you helped me with the tech side of the book and many other tasks. I feel like your name should be going on the cover as well, as you being there for me makes you a part of this book. Thank you for always being my rock during this writing experience, every day in our lives together, and for supporting me going after my dreams of becoming an author who can help others, especially children and teenagers. Thank you for being a wonderful husband, for always looking out for me and guiding me. I love you with all of my heart.

To my mother, the late very sweet and incredibly kind Kathy: I only was able to spend nine years with you, Mom, but I will be forever grateful that I have those nine years to hold onto. You were such a fighter and a strong woman; I will always admire you and how you still mothered me even while you were dying. I wish I had more years with you. I miss you every day, and I want you to know how much I love you. Thank you for being my mother.

To my father, Dave: Thank you for being my father and thank you for sticking around after mom died. You had one of the hardest jobs possible, and that was deciding to stay and raise Mike and me after mom died, despite how hard that probably was. Thank you for wanting to be our father, for always being there for us, and for always taking care of us. Thank you for loving us as much as you always have throughout our lives and for always being in our corner to offer us support. Thank you for always encouraging me to go after my dreams. Thank you and mom for teaching me how to read and write, and for initiating my love for books, by buying them for me as a kid. I love you.

To my brother, Mike: Thank you for being a great brother to me and for looking out for me after mom died. You didnt have to do that, but you stepped up to the plate. Even though I didnt realize you were protecting me from the shadows in every single situation and with every single person I met, I hope you know how much I appreciate you doing that for me. You are the best brother a sister could ever ask for. I love you.

To my stepmother, Trish: You also had a very hard job trying to raise two teenage stepkids shortly after they lost their mother. You could have walked away from the job, but you stuck around, despite how hard I imagine the job truly was. Thank you for that. I love you.

To my sisters, Sam and Ashlie; my nieces, Hailey, Victoria, and Kathryn; and my nephews, Cameron and Braxton: You all have brought great joy to my life over the years. Stay who you are, and I just wanted to thank you for letting me be a part of your lives. I love all of you.