Amy Carney - Parent on Purpose

Parent on Purpose

ISBN: 978-1-946533-38-8 Ebook

Copyright 2019 by Amy Carney

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any manner whatsoever without prior written consent of the author, except as provided by the United States of America copyright law.

Unless otherwise noted, all Scripture quotations are taken from the New American Standard Bible (NASB), Copyright 1975 by Nelson Publishers.

For permission to reprint portions of this content or bulk purchases, contact Amy Carney at www.AmyCarney.com

Published by Niche Pressworks, Indianapolis, IN

NichePressworks.com

Printed in the United States of America

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To Keith.

For always believing in me and loving us all so well.

And to our dear children.

Its a privilege to raise each of you.

May you always be blessed and be a blessing.

Parenting is in a state of shambles in America. Children have not changed over the past forty years. In fact, todays kids bring the same nature into the world that kids brought with them into the world four thousand years ago. Obviously, then, they are not the problem. What has changed over the past forty years is child rearing.

There was a time in America, and not so long ago, when the raising of children was done casually and matter-of-factly, a time when parents possessed strong confidence in the legitimacy of their authority. During that same time, children were mischievous, but except in very rare instances, they were not belligerently disobedient or disrespectful. In school, they did their best without much parental help at all, and they managed to behave themselves without medication. By the time children were three, toddlerhood had ended. Tantrums and defiance had stopped. Children entertained themselves, did not interrupt adults and did not ask for much adult attention.

In the mid-to-late 1960s, American parents began listening to psychologists (of which I am one), and other mental health professionals tell them how to properly rear children. Rather rapidly, a legacy of knowledge and common sense was replaced with psychological theory, and things began going, as my mother would have put it, to hell in a handbasket. Today, the mental health of children is a major cultural issue, the behavior of many children is out-of-control and parenting as we now call it has become something stressful and anxiety-arousing.

Its evident that we cannot continue down this destructive path, but what can parents do?

For starters, moms and dads can begin doing as this book suggestsparent on purpose.

I am delighted to write this foreword, because Amy Carney and I share the same determination to transform the way people raise children, one household at a time. Amy and I both know that what we teach through our writing and speaking is not original but based on solid Biblical truths.

Purposeful parenting has been the focus of my writing and speaking for over twenty-five years. I have a weekly syndicated column in over 200 newspapers nationwide, and I have written 15 best-selling books on the subject. I am delighted that Amy has added this much-needed book to the conversation.

Amys simple message about parenting on purpose is not new, but it is timely and needed in todays culture. Her book reminds parents of the importance of slowing down and claiming their parenting goals, so they can better lead, love, and launch their child successfully.

Not only is Amy passionate about raising her own five children purposefully in (or despite) popular culture today, but her passion spills over into helping others understand how to lovingly regain leadership in their home while relaxing into their God-given role as a parent.

Amy has written a book that illuminates a path to the end of full-time parenthood. I think you will find it helpful how each of the nine chapters begins with a specific problem parents face today and is then followed up by solutions and strategies to help you strengthen your parental leadership, your family culture, and the child you are currently raising. The goal of Parent on Purpose is to help moms and dads walk a more intentional journey today so that when they arrive at the finish line of full-time parenthood, they feel joy and peace instead of guilt and regret.

I would suggest that you read the book a little at a time and slowly begin to integrate Amys suggestions. Whether you have a newborn or you are about to venture into the teenage years, this thoughtful book will help you obtain a strong finish to your season of child-rearing. If you follow the commonsense advice contained in her work, you will not only transform your life but that of your child and therefore the world around you. If youve lost your way and claimed the wrong goals while raising your child, Parent on Purpose will guide you home.

John Rosemond

www.JohnRosemond.com

Introduction

In 2014, my husband Keith and I bought a motorhome, packed up our twelve-year-old triplet sons and eleven-year-old daughter, said goodbye to our carefully constructed Phoenix lifestyle, and left to travel around the United States.

Why would we do such a thing?

Because we had to.

On the surface, life couldnt have appeared more successful. There were As on the kids report cards; trophies on the shelves; and money in the bank. Yet, underneath this facade of worldly success, our family was disconnected and drifting apart.

We claimed one reality yet lived another. Our children were accomplished and achieved at a high level while we funded their opportunities and shuttled them around. We rarely gathered around the dinner table or sat together in a church pew. Although Keith and I said faith and family were priorities, our calendars told a different story. We consistently divided and conquered life apart from one another. With kids in various activities, Keith and I continually sat, separately, on the sidelines of our childrens lives cheering them on until one day we woke up to the fact that we were growing apart as a couple and as a family, and we needed to make a change.

We had allowed popular culture to dictate our family narrative. I had wanted to cultivate a more connected family than the one I grew up in, yet how could that ever be possible when we didnt even spend much time together? I wanted my children to grow up in an outward focused home with God at the helm, yet our priorities served ourselves rather than Jesus.

Though it was scary, we knew that bravely saying yes to this RV adventure was precisely the medicine our disconnected family needed. So, Keith sacrificed his position as player development coach for the Chicago Blackhawks. We pulled our kids out of their public-school classrooms and off of their club sports teams, and we resigned from our organized activities. We said goodbye to our friends and life as we knew it, and, for over half a year, our family bonded our way around forty-four states. It was a journey that strengthened our disjointed family and changed our perspectives on parenting.

My blog followers, friends, and family encouraged me to write a book about our adventures, so I began writing this narrative about what I thought youd want to know regarding touring around our beautiful country. I planned to tell you about the friendly town of Lava Hot Springs, Idaho, and how you should visit the covered bridges of Quechee, Vermont, in the fall. I was going to write about our stay at the unique sheep farm in Montana and about the natural waterslide our kids went down over and over again in Asheville, North Carolina.