Andrea Gurney - Reimagining Your Love Story: Biblical and Psychological Practices for Healthy Relationships

Masterfully weaving together psychological science and biblical wisdom, Andrea Gurney provides a practical and inspirational road map for all of us who are serious about our love story. She shows us how we can rebuild and rethink the ways we love. Dont miss out on her heartfelt message.

Drs. Les and Leslie Parrott, #1 New York Times best-selling authors, Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts

Loving another person is beautiful but dangerous, requiring you to be both vulnerable and strong. Reimagining Your Love Story equips you to love others well. By combining leading research and engaging stories, neuroscience and theology, scriptural truths and practical application, Dr. Gurney helps you learn how to strengthen the relationships that matter most. I highly recommend this book!

Peter Greer, president and CEO, HOPE International, and coauthor, Mission Drift

Dr. Andrea Gurney always has a waiting list for her private practice. Once you read Reimagining Your Love Story, youll understand why. In its pages, you are offered a guidebook to navigating the fairy tale while holding on to whats real, letting go of the myths without losing the wonder, and, most importantly, building upon your God-given gift of love and connection in healthy ways. Im grateful for Dr. Gurneys workand that readers can now access her insights without being added to a waiting list.

Laurie Polich Short, author, When Changing Nothing Changes Everything

In Reimagining Your Love Story, Dr. Gurney effortlessly pairs foundational psychological and biblical principles in ways that are both practical and comprehensible for every audience. Whether you are single, married, dating, widowed, or divorced, this is a must-read! You will walk away with tremendous insight and tools to pursue relationships that can flourish.

Dana Allin, synod executive, ECO: A Covenant Order of Evangelical Presbyterians

We all know that love requires work and is never as easy as the beginning of a relationship. What we often fail to address is how our perceptions and unspoken expectations create a mass of weeds that can overtake the bloom of love. Andrea Gurney brilliantly invites us to an honest, deep, and abundantly kind walk through our garden to address how sometimes even hard work is not enough. We need an honest look at what things seed division and create unfruitful conflict. This book is rich in wisdom, research, and immense humor and will restore your hope in love.

Dan B. Allender, PhD, founding president, The Seattle School of Theology and Psychology

Reimagining Your Love Story: Biblical and Psychological Practices for Healthy Relationships

2019 by Andrea Gurney

Published by Kregel Publications, a division of Kregel Inc., 2450 Oak Industrial Dr. NE, Grand Rapids, MI 49505.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any meanselectronic, mechanical, photocopy, recording, or otherwisewithout written permission of the publisher, except for brief quotations in reviews.

Distribution of digital editions of this book in any format via the internet or any other means without the publishers written permission or by license agreement is a violation of copyright law and is subject to substantial fines and penalties. Thank you for supporting the authors rights by purchasing only authorized editions.

The author and publisher are not engaged in rendering medical or psychological services through this book, nor is this book intended as a guide to diagnose or treat medical or psychological problems. If medical, psychological, or other expert assistance is required, the reader should seek the services of a health-care provider or certified counselor.

To protect the privacy of individuals portrayed in this book, names and identifying details have been changed. The author takes confidentiality seriously and has completely changed details of any story.

Published in association with the literary agency of WordServe Literary Group, Ltd., www.wordserveliterary.com.

Scripture quotations are from the Holy Bible, New International Version, NIV. Copyright 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc. Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved worldwide. www.zondervan.com. The NIV and New International Version are trademarks registered in the United States Patent and Trademark Office by Biblica, Inc.

ISBN 978-0-8254-4562-0, print

ISBN 978-0-8254-7544-3, epub

Printed in the United States of America
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To Kate and Madeline, who continually teach me how to love well and love boldly. To the moon and back.

W e had seventy-five minutes together. I knew the time would pass quickly, and I wanted to make sure that both Emma and Jake felt they could tell their version of the story.

Id love to hear how you two met.

They both smiled, eager to share their love story.

Emma began. We first met when we were both in college. Jake was at Stanford and I was at Berkeley. Well, maybe you cant call it meeting, she continued with a flirtatious glance at Jake. Jake was visiting a friend at Berkeley, and we both ended up at the same party. It was over Valentines Day weekend, actually. Our junior year.

Jake reached over and grabbed her hand, putting it on his lap as he continued the story. I saw her from across the way and knew I wanted to get her number before leaving that night. So I did, he said with a confident smirk.

Emma smiled. Yes, he was successful. ButI do remember thinking, Who is this audacious guy? He was so so sure of himself in approaching me. Little did he know, I was in a relationship already.

Jake playfully and quickly interrupted: Come on, Em, youve got to admit. There was chemistry right away, and it was mutual.

Oh, theres no denying that. She squeezed his hand, then looked at me. We both immediately knew there was something there.

They were lost in the moment, remembering back to their first meeting five years ago.

And ? I inquired.

Oh, right, Jake continued. Well, that was that, for the time being. I texted her occasionally, and we became Facebook friends.

And I kept dating the other guy, Emma interjected. But, if Im honest with myself, Jake was often in the back of my mind. What if he is the one? I used to wonder. I couldnt really shake it. I couldnt really shake you. She affectionately moved his knee back and forth as she turned toward Jake.

Clearly I couldnt get you out of my mind all that easily either.

They enjoyed the back-and-forth, reminiscing as I listened in. He was muscular and tana former Stanford football player. She was taller than he was, with vibrant red hair and a smile that lit up the room. They both were articulate and talkative, yet respectful of the other person as they spoke.

So, in short, Jake said, orienting his entire body toward me after realizing they were both facing each other on the couch, lost in the moment of their own love story, we both ended up in San Francisco after we graduated. And as soon as we discovered we were going to be in the same city, Em broke up with that other guy, and we started dating. From the beginningwe knew we had something special.