Zondervan - Saving Your Second Marriage Before It Starts: Nine Questions to Ask Before—and After—You Remarry

Praise for
SAVING YOUR MARRIAGE BEFORE IT STARTS

Every engaged and newlywed couple needs to read this book by Les and Leslie. And while youre at it, dont miss out on the incredible SYMBIS Assessment. Its fantastic!

Shaunti Feldhahn, Social researcher and author of For Women Only and For Men Only

This program is incredibly practical, easy to use, and long overdue.

H. Norman Wright, Author of Before You Say I Do

Les and Leslie are the go-to couple for launching lifelong love. Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts is right on the money.

Dave Ramsey, Founder of Financial Peace University

You simply cant afford to miss out on all that SYMBIS has to offer. Ive personally benefited from it.

Gary Smalley, Author of The Language of Love

We love Les and Leslie. They are our go-to couple for all things marriage prep. You will love the SYMBIS book and workbooks. And their SYMBIS Assessment is a must-do.

Judah Smith, Author of Life Is .

I wish every engaged and newly married couple would use Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts. Its fresh, relevant, and extremely practical.

Dr. Neil Clark Warren, Founder of eHarmony

Ebook Instructions

In this ebook edition, please use your devices note-taking function to record your thoughts wherever you are asked to do so. Use your devices highlighting function to record your response whenever you are asked to checkmark, circle, underline, or otherwise indicate your answer(s).

RESOURCES BY LES AND LESLIE PARROTT

3 Seconds (by Les)

The Complete Guide to Marriage Mentoring (and workbooks and video)

The Control Freak (by Les)

Crazy Good Sex (by Les)

Dot.com Dating

The First Drop of Rain (by Leslie)

Getting Ready for the Wedding

God Loves You Nose to Toes (childrens book by Leslie)

The Good Fight

Helping Your Struggling Teenager (by Les)

High Maintenance Relationships (by Les)

The Hour That Matters Most

I Love You More (and workbooks and video)

L.O.V.E.

The Love List

Love Talk (and workbooks and video)

Love Talk Devotional

Making Happy

Meditations on Proverbs for Couples

The Parent You Want to Be

Questions Couples Ask

Real Relationships (and workbook and video)

Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts (and workbooks and video)

Saving Your Second Marriage Before It Starts (and workbooks and video)

Seven Secrets of a Healthy Dating Relationship (by Les)

Soul Friends (by Leslie)

Trading Places (and workbooks)

You Matter More Than You Think (by Leslie)

Youre Stronger Than You Think (by Les)

Your Time-Starved Marriage (and workbooks and video)

ZONDERVAN

Saving Your Second Marriage Marriage Before It Starts

Copyright 2001, 2015 by Les and Leslie Parrott

ePub Edition September 2015: ISBN 978-0-310-34632-6

Requests for information should be addressed to:

Zondervan, 3900 Sparks Dr. SE, Grand Rapids, Michigan 49546

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Parrott, Les.

Saving your second marriage before it starts : nine questions to ask before (and after) you remarry / Les and Leslie Parrott

p. cm.

ISBN 978-0-310-34630-2

1. Remarriage. 2. Stepfamilies. 3. Marriage counseling. I. Parrott, Leslie L., 1964 II. Title.

HQ1018 .P37 2001

306.84dc21

2001026749

All Scripture quotations, unless otherwise indicated, are taken from The Holy Bible, New International Version, NIV. Copyright 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.

Scripture quotations marked CEV are taken from the Contemporary English Version. Copyright 1995 by American Bible Society. Used by permission.

Scripture quotations marked MSG are taken from The Message. Copyright 1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 2000, 2001, 2002. Used by permission of NavPress Publishing Group.

Any Internet addresses (websites, blogs, etc.) and telephone numbers in this book are offered as a resource. They are not intended in any way to be or imply an endorsement by Zondervan, nor does Zondervan vouch for the content of these sites and numbers for the life of this book.

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means electronic, mechanical, photocopy, recording, or any other except for brief quotations in printed reviews, without the prior permission of the publisher.

Published in association with Yates & Yates, www.yates2.com.

Cover design: Ranjy Thomas / Flying Rhino

Cover photography: Surkov Vladimir / Shutterstock

Interior design: Kait Lamphere & Ryan Farmer

First printing August 2015

To our SYMBIS Facilitators

Whether you are a pastor, counselor, chaplain, or marriage mentor, you shaped not only this book but the SYMBIS Assessment. Your investment in helping couples launch lifelong love as a SYMBIS Facilitator will impact generations to come.

CONTENTS

1. Before You Begin
   
2. Question 9: Are You and Your Partner Soul Mates?
   

Hang my locket around your neck, wear my ring on your finger. Love is invincible facing danger and death. Passion laughs at the terrors of hell. The fire of love stops at nothing it sweeps everything before it. Flood waters cant drown love, torrents of rain cant put it out.

SONG OF SONGS 8:6 7

BELOW IS A LISTING of the exercises and self-tests you will find in the two workbooks we have designed to go along with this book (one for men and one for women). In each chapter we will point you to a specific exercise to enjoy once you have read a particular section. This list can serve as a quick reference to the location of the exercises within the book.

HOW CAN I AVOID the same problems that plagued my first marriage? Sarah asked this question during a break at one of our marriage seminars. Tom and I are getting married in a few months were very much in love but we both know its not going to be a cakewalk.

Sarah went on to tell us that her first marriage ended after just three years when her husband walked out on her for reasons that are still a mystery. Maybe we were too young, I dont know, she confessed, but I do know that this time I have my eyes open, and we want to do everything we can to ensure lifelong love together. She asked again, What do I need to know as a person whos getting married for the second time?

The seminar was about to begin so we had to postpone our answer for Sarah. We eventually spoke with her and Tom at length over the lunch break. We learned that Tom was coming from a nine-year marriage that ended when his wife died of cancer. We also learned that he was bringing two young children into his new marriage with Sarah. Do you have any tips for helping the kids make a smooth adjustment to all this? Tom asked us. And what should we do about his parents? Sarah chimed in. They think were rushing into this marriage.

Needless to say, we didnt have time to do justice to the many questions Sarah and Tom had about starting their second marriage. And truth be told, we didnt feel all that confident about what little advice we did have. We passed along a few bits of information and underscored the importance of healing the wounds from their previous marriages. But both Les and I felt bad that we could not do more to help Sarah and Tom get started on the right foot for the second time.