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SECRETS AND (HAPPY) SURPRISES OF THE FIRST YEAR
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The author and publisher have provided this e-book to you for your personal use only. You may not make this e-book publicly available in any way. Copyright infringement is against the law. If you believe the copy of this e-book you are reading infringes on the authors copyright, please notify the publisher at: us.macmillanusa.com/piracy.
Dedicated with love to Leslie,
the wife of my youth
by Patricia Heaton
If you know anything about Los Angeles, you know it has awful, awful traffic. We do everything we can to avoid getting on the dreaded 405 and the 10 freeways. If you do need to use either of those, theres got to be a very special reason. My special reason was Dr. Bob Hamilton (or, as my son Sam used to call him, Bopter Dog). Bob came highly recommended by my ob-gyn, and when it comes to your kids, well, youll drive the hour-and-fifteen minutes to make sure they are well-taken-care-of.
One of the first things that inspired confidence when my husband, Dave, and I met Dr. Bob was the fact that he had six kidsand he and his darling wife, Leslie, seemed relatively sane nonetheless. So that was encouraging. His office was light and cheery, despite all the crying babies, and his eccentric Harley-riding nurse, Gerri, would pray for your kids right before they got their shots if you asked. Dr. Bob was a very thorough physician. One day he came over to our house and asked to try one of those Razor scooters to see why all his patients were getting hurt. He wobbled down our street for fifteen feet then promptly fell over. Now he knew why.
He knew almost nothing about the entertainment industry as he didnt watch many TV shows or movies. (I had to constantly remind him how important I am in the real world.) But we had many a lively chat about politics and religion while he was looking in my kids ears with his auroscope. In fact, when one of my boys was born, Dr. Bob came to the hospital at the same time as my conservative Jewish GP was checking up on me. I would have loved to join in the fascinating discussion that ensued but I was still high on morphine from the C-section. I heard it was scintillating.
Dr. Bob is known for taking incredible care of his patients in Los Angeles. Equally impressive are the trips he organizes multiple times a year to take medical help to developing countries. More than one parent in his practice has joined him on these tripshe badgers us a lotmyself among them. Fifteen years after meeting Dr. Bob, my son Sam (a high school freshman at the time) and I traveled to Sierra Leone along with other doctors and clients. It was memorable not only for the barbed wire and crumbling walls of our hotel but also for the incredible amount of organization with which it was run. Dr. Bob has not only brought medical relief to thousands but has also raised funds to build schools and soccer fields. Every year he ropes me into his Walk for Africa event to raise money for these trips. His Christianity is not just words in the Biblehe is a true example of faith in action.
Dr. Bobs good works are mostly unknown outside his practicehes a very humble man. So it was a shock when I looked at my social media and saw a video of him entitled The Baby Whisperer with millions of views. The irony was not lost on me. I called him immediately and asked him if he understood what a big deal this was. He didnt really get it (of course). It didnt sink in until he started getting calls from every talk show in New Yorksome that even I couldnt get on! And what a pro! Dr. Bob looked like hed been doing TV appearances all his life. I really hoped he would get his own show, or at least become a regular guest on The Doctors . But then again, that would deprive all of us overly anxious SoCal parents of his calming care. So he did the next best thing. He wrote this book.
Dave and I have been so very blessed to have Dr. Bob in our lives. I know that as you read this book, his spirit of joy, hope, and love will touch you. And if you write to him, remind him of how important I am. He still doesnt get it.
Human life amazes me!
I have studied biochemistry, human physiology, and medicine for the past forty years. It has been my lifes work as a physician, but despite the familiarity of the subject, I continue to find myself utterly amazed by the profound complexity, wisdom, and beauty of the human body. Im writing this book now for three reasons. First, I hope to bedazzle my readers with the splendor and majesty of human life: both its fragility and yet, at other times, its herculean resilience. I hope my readers will pause for a moment and ponder the curious truth that we are actually alive and really exist; that humans are intelligent, conscious, and creative beings who compose melodic symphonies and write novels; that we live and breathe and grow, and somehow, in the midst of the vast chaos of our universe, men and women find one another, fall rapturously in love, and have adorable, kissable babies who, like their parents, are preciously alive.
My second goal is to convince young people that having a baby is still possible in todays world and that the rewards of parenting are worth all the hassle. Ill admit that being a parent is a challenge, and yes, it requires lots of work, and yes, your children will tax you in ways you never thought possible. Parenting is overwhelming at times. But at the end of the day, child rearing unearths a deeper sense of purpose to every endeavor and renders a fuller understanding of what life is all about. In a sense, children rescue us from our pettiness and enlarge our comprehension of reality.
My third and final goal is to celebrate the sheer delight of children. Your infant will bring a smile to your face every day! Few things in life compare to the joy that comes with having a baby, and it would bring me untold pleasure if my readers who dont yet have children would whisper an inconceivable thought that they couldnt imagine they would ever dare utternamely, Id like to have a baby! Shepherding wary and otherwise distracted young people into embracing the thought of becoming a parent, bringing them to the precipice of decision, and seeing them take the leap of yes would bring me great satisfaction.
But in prodding young adults to this decision, I must also caution my readers that parenting can be, at times, intensely raw. It is replete with all the challenges that life itself brings. Parenting bruises and stretches us all. But with it also comes a unique opportunity of welcoming a fresh child into the world and watching, from the most intimate perspective possible, a miracle unfold. Women have been giving birth and parents have been raising children for thousands of years. Its still a worthy and doable endeavor and you can do it too!
A Realist with a Flair for the Quixotic
I know how quixotic and retro these ramblings sound. Ive articulated some of these musings to friends and family and often get the same response. Dr. Bob, they say with a smile, your ideas are quaint and sweet, but youre living in a dream world. Youre so out of step with whats happening now that its not worth even talking about it!
Which, I think, is a kind way of saying that Im insane.