Sam Gitchel - Lets Talk About S-E-X: A Guide for Kids 9 to 12 and Their Parents

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from professionals:

I give a copy to each of my patients.

Pediatrician/ G.W., M.D., Vallejo, CA

I read it and want to buy a copy for my sister so she is ready when her 4 and 7 year olds enter puberty.

Newspaper Reporter/ C.F., Sacramento, CA

This is an excellent tool for parent and teen interaction. I wish it was available when I was parenting a teen male.

Clinic Manager/ J.F., Elk Grove, CA

...a readable, thoughtful guide. It should go a long way toward easing kids and parents into and through a time which has for too long been associated with ignorance and apprehension.

Physician/ Peter Bartlett, M.D.

...treats a difficult subject with frankness and clarity and yet with reverence...a model for parents and teachers and a valuable guide for youth.

Lutheran Pastor/ Rev. Paul Hansen

from parents:

I was pretty nervous but this book helped ME get ready to talk to my daughter.

D.B., Sacremento, CA

Youve put together a most helpful and wonderful publication.

E.J., Bodega, CA

I found the book to be well developed and it lends itself to easy discussion between children and parents.

J.F., Clovis, NM

Its a great book. It made talking about sex with my daughter a positive experience and helped me feel comfortable. It covered all the topics and moral issues.

E.M., Newington, CT

Its the best book Ive found for my 9 -year old son.

S.U., Middletown, CT

from kids:

I learned a lot about myself. Thanks.

Ronnie, 11 years old

Talking with my parents about sex will not be as hard now.

Jennifer, 10 years old

Special thanks to:

Jeanne Ewy, Terrie Lind, Patsy Montgomery, Raul Tejeda and everyone who worked to bring this book back into print.

Lets Talk About S-E-X

A Read-Together Book for Kids 9-to-12 and their Parents

with

A Parents Guide

Planned Parenthood/Mar Monte

LETS TALK ABOUT S-E-X

FOR THE WHOLE FAMILY

Okay, here we go. The BIG TALK. No giggles, please. Do we HAVE to do this? YES. Why? Because you are growing up and will soon be a teenager. And because you dont always know what to ask and those older than you dont always know what or when to let you in on what you need to know. So were starting the discussion here.

We all need to learn about sex and how sex fits into our lives. Its important that you get your facts straight. There is a lot of incorrect information floating around. Here are the things you may not know...and probably some that you do know. Now you can talk about sex and ask your questions. The adults in your life can share their feelings as well as what else you want to know. Its really just a beginning.

MAKING SENSE OF LOVEAND SEX

When two people fall in love with each other, they want to be together a lot and want to share personal thoughts and feelings. They really care about each others feelings, and they both feel good about themselves most of the time they are together.

Love and sex are not the same thing. Love is a word that people use to mean many things. We love our parents, and we love our pets. We love our close friends, and we love our grandparents. You might have even heard someone say I love chocolate ice cream! In each case the feelings are a little different.

In time, the excitement of falling in love may change to a deep feeling of love and trust for each other. Two people who share this kind of love usually want their relationship to last for a long time. They plan to work things out together. Whether times are good or times are tough, they know they can count on each other. For a couple like this, sex can be a way of expressing their loving feelings. Most people think this is the best time of a sexual relationship and leads to the best kind of marriage.

Making love is sometimes the term people use for having intercourse or sex (more about that later). But the fact is, love and sex dont always go together. Many people love each other without having sex, and others have sex without love. Some people have sex just for the physical pleasure they get from it or to please someone else. Others believe this is wrong, or just feel sure they would not enjoy sex without love.

To avoid problems everyone needs to remember that:

No one has to have sex just to please someone else.

Having sex will not make love happen.

It is wrong to let someone think you love him or her when you really dont.

Of course, many people fall in love before they are ready for sex or for marriage. So its a good thing that sex is not the only way to show these feelings. Other things, like being honest and really caring about one another, are more important in a loving relationship.

There are many ways, besides sex, to express feelings of love and closeness to someone. Doing special favors for the other person, being a good listener, holding hands, giving flowersthese are just a few ways.

Can you and your mom or dad think of some other ways of showing love? Try making a list:

How do the people in your family show love to each other?

Which of these ways would also be good ways of showing love to a boyfriend or girlfriend?

MAKING BABIES

All living things reproduce their kind, and humans do this by having sexual intercourse. If we did not, the human race would not last long.

When a woman and man decide to make a baby, though, they are not usually thinking about the whole human race. They are looking forward to the joy of having and raising a child. Parenthood is a lifelong opportunity to love and care for another human being. It is also a lifelong responsibility. Thats why deciding to make a baby is one of the most important decisions a person can make. Everyone who decides to have sexual intercourse needs to think very carefully about the possibility that a pregnancy could start.

Though making babies is important, its not the main reason why couples have sexual intercourse. When two people care very much about each other, intercourse is one of the ways they can share their loving feelings. Joining their bodies in this special way gives them a special kind of pleasure which is why we do often call having sex, making love.

Sexual intercourse may seem hard to understand. You may wonder, Why would anyone do THAT? Why is having sex such a big deal? The answer is that sexual intercourse can add a lot of happiness to a persons life, or it can cause big problems. Thats why it is a big deal. Thats why it may seem that everyone is interested in it, or worried about it.

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