Judy Ringer - Turn Enemies Into Allies: The Art of Peace in the Workplace (Conflict Resolution for Leaders, Managers, and Anyone Stuck in the Middle)

Judy is a master at helping people to transform conflict into powerful relationships. Her very useful guide will provide the tools to change intractable situations into high-level teamwork and unimaginable possibilities. Let Judy teach you to dance on the ever-shifting carpet of relationships.

Thomas Crum, author of Three Deep Breaths,
Journey to Center, and The Magic of Conflict

Workplaces are designed for conflict. They bring together competing interests of customers, designers, marketers, engineers, manufacturers, and budgets. This book provides practical and easily implemented ways to allow these conflicts to be productive and relationship-building. I highly recommend the book and hope that its insights leak into the larger arena of our civic and political dialogue. In the end, our way of life may depend on our capacity to trust and cooperate with strangers. The ideas in this book take us in that direction.

Peter Block, author of Flawless Consulting,
Stewardship, and Community

When two people don't get along, you can't just put them into a room and hope for the best, or assign them to a project and insist they work together. All relationships have some conflict, and some relationships are subject to deep conflicts. Addressing destructive behavior related to conflict is important. And addressing conflict when it happens, in a way that builds connection, collegiality, and allows individuals to share vulnerabilities takes time and nurturing. Judy Ringer has a way of working with individuals in conflict so that the relationship (assuming all parties want this) becomes healthy. That said, we need conflict! But we don't need destructive behavior that sometimes accompanies conflict. Anyone in business can tell you that individuals with healthy relationships, even in the midst of conflict, create a highly productive and psychologically safe environment at work, when they know how to work through the conflict appropriately. Judy's work provides solid recommendations, practical advice, and methods to address conflict; the book provides great insights to help rid organizations of behavior and approaches that can harm or destroy relationships.

Connie Roy-Czyzowski, SPHR, SHRM-SCP, CCP,
vice president of human resources, Northeast Delta Dental

This brilliant book has a wealth of material: insights, processes, and practices for anyone who is engaged in coaching people who don't get along. Judy offers powerful tools using concepts and principles taken from the martial art of aikido. Drawing from her experience on the aikido mat and as a coach in organizations, she has laid out the coaching process in clear, concise, and accessible steps that will help anyone move from conflict toward resolution. I appreciate that her intention is to go beyond organizational coaching, she is also emphasizing teaching skills that will support the parties ever after in all areas of life. A great contribution.

Wendy Palmer, author of Leadership Embodiment

Judy Ringer's book is for leaders who want to empower themselves to manage workplace conflict. Imagine being fearless when conflict arises, and having the tools and confidence you need to address, manage, and guide your team toward peace and organizational health.

Fran Liautaud, organizational development
and training manager

Turn Enemies Into Allies is a powerful guide to proactively deal with conflict in the workplace. There is a definite cost to avoiding conflict, which will be reduced by following the sage advice offered by Judy Ringer. She skillfully takes the reader through concrete steps and offers exceptional examples from her years of experience. As a management consultant and professor, I found myself reflecting on situations in my life and thought if I had this book, the conflict would have been resolved much quicker and with less drama for all parties involved. Turn Enemies Into Allies is truly a gift to new and seasoned managers!

Susan Losapio, PhD, professor, Southern New Hampshire
University School of Business

This edition first published in 2019 by Career Press, an imprint of

Red Wheel/Weiser, LLC

With offices at:

65 Parker Street, Suite 7

Newburyport, MA 01950

www.redwheelweiser.com

www.careerpress.com

Copyright 2019 by Judy Ringer

Foreword copyright 2019 by James Warda

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from Red Wheel/Weiser, LLC. Reviewers may quote brief passages.

ISBN: 978-1-63265-154-9

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
available upon request.

Cover design by Robert Johnson

Interior photos/images by Adam Richardson

Interior by Gina Schenck

Typeset in Adobe Garamond Pro and Arial Narrow

Printed in Canada

MAR

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www.redwheelweiser.com/newsletter

Dedicated to Lorna Metskas
Mother, teacher, and biggest ally.
Thank you.

Your job is to create a work environment that
enables the success of the people who work with you,
and if conflict is not resolved effectively, you can never hope
to keep your good staff. So have a go and see what happens;
you may be better at it than you think.

SeeChange Consulting

Writing a foreword is an awesome responsibility.

Now, by awesome, I don't only mean great, though it is definitely that.

I also mean it's important. And significant. And, if you think too long about it, a tad bit overwhelming as you realize you want to get it just right.

Yes, writing a foreword is an awesome responsibility because, in doing so, you are accountable for sharing something and someone important with the world. And, like the bearer of any special gift, you need to show it in the best light possible. Think diamond ring in a velvet box.

Now, if you asked Judy Ringer if she considers herself to be a gift, she'd probably roll her eyes. That's because she's humble. And that humility is an essential part of Turn Enemies Into Allies. Because nothing can humble us more quickly than conflict, and demonstrating humility is also essential to making your way through it.

Of course, like most, I used to avoid conflict. I hated the teeth-grinding, stomach-churning guts of it. But Judy helped me see it more as something to embrace, knowing that, when I come out the other side, I'll be stronger and hopefully wiser.

Interestingly, I first found Judy the way you'd expect to find someone or something incredibly important.

I did a Google search.

I was searching because I'd run out of ideas. As the manager of a large corporate team, I was looking for help in dealing with a challenging business partner. I had already talked to several colleagues, read some books and articles, and even watched a few videos. But nothing was giving me what I needed. So I searched.

And, in doing so, I came across Judy's work. Then, two coincidences, one right away and the other later, made me pay even closer attention.

First, I saw that the name of her blog was Ki Moments, describing those moments, in her words, as those in which you are fully aware of your life force and your ability to influence your environment.

As someone who writes about moments myself, that definitely rang a bell. Several, in fact.