Endorsements
What an incredible book! Every couple faces endless decisionschoices that can make or break their relationship. Ron Welch has paved the way for ten concrete and life-giving choices every couple needs to make. Read this book and enjoy deeper fulfillment in your marriage starting today.
Drs. Les and Leslie Parrott , #1 New York Times bestselling authors of Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts
The pages in this book are pages of HOPE! Need a fresh new approach to resolve conflict? Need a new way of creating intimacy? Need to move beyond past hurt? Would you like to have a fresh joy in your relationship? As a mental health professional for over thirty years, I highly recommend Dr. Welchs sound strategies for both relationships in crisis and those that simply desire to be at their very best. This is a resource we use at The Center, A Place of HOPE.
Gregory Jantz , author of thirty booksand founder of The Center, A Place of HOPE
Happy, healthy, and long-lasting marriages do not happen automatically. They are the result of focused work and adjustments designed to meet changing circumstances. Ron Welchs new book gives couples a fresh approach to address issues that threaten to swamp marriages that otherwise deserve to thrive. Readers will find suggestions, explanations, exercises, and encouragement to face their marital future with hopefulness and success.
James R. Beck , senior professor of counseling, Denver Seminary
Choices Successful Couples Make comes from a man who has been-there-done-that when it comes to pointing the way toward a successful marriage. Ron Welch (a close friend and colleague) has over thirty years of marriage under his belt, more than enough time to define these ten choices and put them into practice in his own private world. Additionally, Ron is a veteran in the graduate school classroom, where he has trained and mentored a large number of men and women who have gone on to be effective professional therapists. Finally, Ron has spent countless hours in conversation with struggling married couples who, under his guidance, have learned to make these choices for themselves. I really like this man, Ron Welch. I trust him, and I consider it an honor to introduce him to you.
Gordon MacDonald , speaker, chancellor of Denver Seminary, and author of Ordering Your Private World and A Resilient Life
Marriages can be transformed. Bad habits can be broken. Feelings of love can return where they have been absent. But none of this happens without intentional choices and hard work on the part of both spouses. Ron Welch provides clear, easy-to-understand guidelines for the choices spouses can make to begin the process of strengthening or repairing their marriages. It is not a matter of forces outside of anyones control but what one chooses to do, difficult as those choices may seem. This little book is chock full of hope, wisdom, biblical insight, and proven methods from the counselors office. Every couple can learn from it, and it ought to be required reading for conversations between every engaged and even pre-engaged couple. An amazing gift to the church and the world from someone who has practiced what he preaches.
Craig L. Blomberg , distinguished professor of New Testament, Denver Seminary
In Choices Successful Couples Make : The Secret to Love That Lasts a Lifetime , Dr. Ron Welch has zeroed in on some of the most basic areas in preventing (and healing) fractured couple relationships and heightening couple flourishing. All ten choices are spot-on, but I was particularly impressed by his emphases on forgiving, trusting, being other-oriented, maintaining intimacy, and committing. This book will repay any couples reading in years of stronger relationship satisfaction and enjoyment.
Everett L. Worthington Jr. (see www . EvWorthington - forgiveness . com for hundreds of free resources)
Half Title Page
Also by Dr. Ron Welch
The Controlling Husband: What Every Woman Needs to Know
Title Page
Copyright Page
2019 by Dr. Ronald D. Welch
Published by Revell
a division of Baker Publishing Group
PO Box 6287, Grand Rapids, MI 49516-6287
www.revellbooks.com
Ebook edition created 2019
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any meansfor example, electronic, photocopy, recordingwithout the prior written permission of the publisher. The only exception is brief quotations in printed reviews.
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data is on file at the Library of Congress, Washington, DC.
ISBN 978-1-4934-1651-6
To protect the privacy and confidentiality of those who have shared their stories with the author, all identifying data (such as names, significant details, and specific information) have been changed or presented in composite form. Every attempt has been made to change all information that could lead to anyone, including the clients themselves, recognizing any individual portrayed in any story.
Dedication
To my wife and soul mate, Jan.
This book is about choices, and without doubt, you are the best choice I have ever made. Thank you for believing in us, for letting the love of Christ shine through you, for teaching me what love and forgiveness truly mean, and for walking by my side on this journey called marriage.
Contents
Cover
Endorsements
Half Title Page
Also by Dr. Ron Welch
Title Page
Copyright Page
Dedication
Acknowledgments
1. Marriage Is about Choices
2. I Choose to Believe
3. I Choose to Communicate Well
Part 1: Choosing to Communicate Accurately
4. I Choose to Communicate Well
Part 2: Choosing to Communicate Positively
5. I Choose to Let Go of Old Baggage
6. I Choose to Forgive
Part 1: Choosing Forgiveness over Unforgiveness
7. I Choose to Forgive
Part 2: Choosing to Forgive the Big Stuff
8. I Choose to Be Unselfish
Part 1: Choosing Unselfishness over Selfishness
9. I Choose to Be Unselfish
Part 2: Choosing the Us Model of Marriage
10. I Choose to Challenge Unspoken Truths
11. I Choose to Be Intimate
12. I Choose Not to Take You for Granted
13. I Choose to Focus on the Process
14. I Choose to Trust
15. I Choose to Love You Forever
Notes
Back Ads
Back Cover
Acknowledgments
This book would not have been possible without contributions from the following individuals, to whom I will be eternally grateful:
my wife, Jan, who for more than thirty years has shared this life journey with me as my partner, my soul mate, my best friend, and my one true love;
my two amazing boys, Britton and Brevin, who are growing into men of character and honor whom I am truly proud to call my sons;
my mom and dad, who taught me about hard work, sacrifice, dedication, and the importance of faith in Christ;
my sister, Cheryl, who continues to help me understand the variety of cultures, people, and experiences in the world that my own biases prevent me from seeing clearly;
my editor, Vicki Crumpton, my agent, Greg Daniel, and Revell, a division of Baker Publishing Group, for their continued support and guidance in my writing career;
Everett Worthington and Bill Fleeman, for their professional contributions to this work;
Denver Seminary, for providing the sabbatical time to write this book;
and my clients from over twenty-five years of practice, who have taught me what resilience, determination, and healing truly look like.
thirteen
I Choose to Focus on the Process