Carley Roney - The Knot Complete Guide to Weddings: The Ultimate Source of Ideas, Advice, and Relief for the Bride and Groom and Those Who Love Them

Copyright 1999, 2004, 2012 by The Knot, Inc.

All rights reserved.
Published in the United States by Clarkson Potter/Publishers, an imprint of the Crown Publishing Group, a division of Random House, Inc., New York.
www.crownpublishing.com
www.clarksonpotter.com

Previous editions of this work were published in the United States by Broadway Books, an imprint of the Crown Publishing Group, a Division of Random House, Inc., New York, in 1999 and 2004.

CLARKSON POTTER is a trademark and POTTER with colophon is a registered trademark of Random House, Inc.

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Roney, Carley.
The Knot complete guide to weddings / Carley Roney and the editors of TheKnot.com.1st rev. ed.
p cm.
1. WeddingsPlanning. 2. Wedding etiquette. I. Knot (Firm) I. Title. III. Title: Complete guide to weddings in the real world.
HQ745.R66 2012
395.22dc23 2012012480

eISBN: 978-0-7704-3339-0

Front cover photographs (clockwise from top left): Kris Drake Photography, Nate Henderson Photography, Evoke Photography, Kristin Spencer Photography, Heather Waraksa Photography, Elizabeth Messina, Katie Moos, and Philip Ficks.

v3.1

If youre reading this book, you probably have a ring sparkling on the fourth finger of your left hand. (And if youre the groom, or both of you are grooms or brides, we hope you will ignore the pronouns and appreciate the book just as much!) One thing is certainyouve signed up for the adventure of a lifetime: getting married. First off, congratulations! Get ready for some exciting times ahead.

Now, we know visions of gowns and cakes are dancing in your head, but before you start obsessing, stop and savor the moment with your fianc (dont you just love how that sounds?), because theres nothing better than the first few weeks after you get engaged. Have fun breaking the news to your friends and family (read our advice for whom to tell first!) and celebrating your next adventure with a soiree or two (more on that, as well). And above all, enjoy!

In the next months (or longer), youll be playing many new rolesevent planner, family referee, professional juggler, marathon decision maker, accountant, and moreas you pull together a party for fifteen or five hundred. Before you hop on the nuptial roller coaster, think about how long a ride you want to take (and can handle). A typical engagement lasts from six months to a year, but weve seen amazing weddings that were five years in the making and beautiful ones that have been pulled together in just six weeks. In general, a yearlong engagement is about right. It gives you time to get your dream wedding dress (which can take six to nine months) and your perfect wedding reception venue (some are booked a year in advance!) yet doesnt drag out the engagementand planning processtoo long.

protect your ring

Dont forget to insure your engagement ring just in case. When you shop for a ring rider policy, read the fine print: A good policy will cover every potentially ring-threatening situation, from theft and damage to accidentally dropping it in the garbage disposal. Go to TheKnot.com/engagementrings for everything you need to know.

Once you do begin, youll be faced with hundreds of decisions and even more options. Start with the big-picture elements (think season, setting, size, and style). These will shape your entire wedding and inform all those more detailed choices going forward.

If at any point youre considering tossing this book and eloping, take a deep breath. Yes, theres a lot to do, but by simply reading this book, youre equipping yourself with the know-how you need to take on your new roles and plan your perfect party. And this book is just one of the many resources weve created to get you through the planning with as little stress as possible. In every chapter, youll be pointed to a variety of tools on TheKnot.com designed to make the entire process easier. If you havent already, sign up for our planning newsletters and create a profile on our website to get customized articles, advice, and ideas at every stage. Bottom line: Between our website and the book, we have you covered from the proposal to the last dance (and beyond!).

Ready? Lets get started.

ETIQUETTE
meet the parents

Introductions are made by the grooms parents, who reach out to the brides parents and convey their excitement. But its also completely acceptable for the brides parentsor you twoto make the first move. If either or both of your parents are divorced, schedule separate introductions. Regardless of who initiates contact, we highly recommend getting both sides together at some point before the wedding weekend. Trust us, at that point, youre going to have enough to stress over without worrying about whether your parents will get along. If a face-to-face meeting is impossible (maybe your parents live on opposite sides of the country or world), your parents should exchange phone numbers and e-mails so they can communicate about the engagement party, shower, and wedding plans. See if you can get everyone together a few days before the wedding for an introductory dinner or lunch.

complete planning timeline

12+ months before