Slovie Jungreis-Wolff - Raising a Child with Soul: How Time-Tested Jewish Wisdom Can Shape Your Childs Character

I must express my gratitude to G-d, for granting me the love of family, the great wisdom of my parents and grandparents, and the truth of the Torah. Writing this book has been my blessing from Above.

I thank my mother, Rebbetzin Esther Jungreis, my ema. You have given me both life and soul. You have believed in me, inspired me, and taught me how to live. Through great sacrifice and many tears, you have forged a path for us, your children, to live by. You have kept the memory of our zaydahs and bubbas alive so that we forever remember the legacy of our roots. Though youve lived through much darkness, you have never lost your light. And it is this light that will always guide us. Your life is your greatest legacy.

Thank you, Mendy, my husband, my best friend. I know that as I was writing this book there were times when you were exhausted and tired, but still you insisted on hearing my words. You listened. You encouraged me and gave me your blessing.

You have helped me travel the distance as I teach and reach out to others. I thank G-d for bringing you across the world, into my life. Even through the most challenging of times, your commitment and faith have never wavered. Your love of life and the ability to make us smile have taught our children the meaning of genuine joy. I pray that we see continued nachas and joy from our mishpachah, our beloved family.

Thank you, my precious children. G-d has privileged me to raise children who are my everything. You have been my inspiration throughout the years. You have illuminated my life with your spirit, and I thank G-d for each one of you. You have taught me to see the world through the eyes of children; you have taught me about kindness, you have brought me laughter and love. I pray that G-d watch over you, protect you, and fill your homes with blessing.

And now Id like to express appreciation to those who made this book a reality.

My gratitude must be expressed to Jennifer Weis and Hilary Rubin Teeman, my editors at St. Martins Press. Your enthusiasm for this project has been exhilarating. Your words of encouragement, your insights, and your attention to details are all sincerely appreciated. Thank you for sharing my vision.

Rabbi Yaakov Reisman, our esteemed Rav, has always been a source of Torah guidance and hashkafas hachaim to our family. Thank you for answering my questions and calls, for looking over the Meditations and Prayers section, and for your clear insights and daas Torah. May Hashem bless you and your family with arichus yamim veshanim and good health.

Rabbi Moshe Kolodny took the time out of his busy schedule and reviewed the factual text of this manuscript. Thank you for your great wisdom and knowledge. And thank you, too, to my brother-in-law Rabbi Shlomo Gertzulin, for so graciously helping me have this done.

Fern Sidman, a woman whose patience knows no bounds. Thank you for tirelessly typing and retyping my handwritten words. No matter how often Id fax you my corrections, no matter how late the hour, you always found the time and gave of yourself with a smile.

I have been blessed with a family of friends and friends who are family. My brothers, my sister, and their spouses are always here for me. I know how fortunate I am to have you all in my life. Our bond is forever.

The young couples whom I teach have become a special part of my life. We are the Hineni family. Weve studied together for years. Weve watched our children grow. We have shared moments of joy and moments of tears. I stand in awe, seeing how youve embraced the Torahs teachings, wanting to make a difference in your familys lives.

I once told you in class that children need to see your passions and loves so that they may learn what to be passionate about in life. Dont just talk about character and Torah values, I said. Live them, and live them with a passion.

Well, you have seized the moment. You have challenged yourselves to become better parents, better husbands and wives, better human beings. You continuously move me.

I thank G-d for granting me the honor of being your Torah teacher.

I gave birth to my son Eli on the holy day of Shabbos. Mendy and I couldnt wait to share the excitement with our family. As soon as the Sabbath was over, my parents drove our children to the hospital to see their new baby brother. We marched to the nursery, looking anxiously through the glass window. Bassinets were lined up in even rows, filled with little blankets of pink and blue. The distinct cries of newborns permeated the air. Finally, we spotted our baby. His soft brown eyes were wide-open. My fathers face was aglow with joy. He turned to me and whispered, This little soul has just arrived from heaven. Our sages teach us that in the heavens above he was learning Torah from the mouths of angels. He came into this world the purest of the pure. Watch over him, Slova Channahlah, and teach him well.

We are given these precious souls, and they are indeed a gift from Above. Parenting is not a simple road. There are many detours and challenges along the way. How do we know which direction to take? How do we know that the path we are leading them on is the best route available? What happens when we lose our way?

I have always been amazed at the amount of planning parents put into the minutest details of their babies lives. Months before the baby is even born, the baby nurse, nursery colors, the brand of stroller, and even the preschool have all been discussed. As the child grows, so, too, does the List. Swim, karate, ballet, art, French, chess, and tennis lessons from the time theyre totsall ingredients that spell overload for both parents and children. We strive to give our children the best that we possibly can. We worry that they receive proper nutrition, cultural experiences, and an excellent education. What is most painful to me is the fact that rarely have I heard parents discussing their plan to develop their childs soul.

We have become so consumed with thoughts of our child being in the right place, with the right crowd, in the right clothing, but what have we done to help this child become a spiritual beinga person of substance and character? The problem becomes even more acute as our world becomes more obsessed with the pursuit of materialism. When was the last time you heard parents discussing their hopes for their childs moral development? I am afraid that more time is spent researching the type of car we buy than the type of child we hope to raise. We must ask ourselves which qualities we desire for our children. What kind of character traits do we wish to imbue in them?

Each week women are given the unique opportunity to pray for their children. As Jewish women all over the world kindle their Shabbos lights, they utter a plea that has been passed down from mother to daughter for thousands of years. Growing up, I watched my mother encircle the flames with her hands, cover her eyes, and whisper her prayer through her tears. Today, my children observe me each Friday night as I do the same.

I believe that this Sabbath prayer gives us the direction we need when raising our children. We ask G-d: privilege me to raise children and grandchildren who are wise and understanding, who love G-d, children of truth, holy offspring who illuminate the world with Torah and good deeds.

I kindle my Sabbath lights and beseech G-d to help me raise children who will contribute goodness to mankind, children who are blessed with kindness, honesty, compassion, love of G-d, and spirituality. I ask that my children discover courage and inner strength in a world that has been overwhelmed with fear and terror. I want so much more than merely polite childrenmanners is not a complicated subject. I pray for children who will possess a moral compass pointing them in the right path no matter how difficult the situation. In Yiddish, we call such an individual a