Kate T. Parker - Play Like a Girl: Life Lessons from the Soccer Field

Life Lessons from the Soccer Field

Kate T. Parker

Workman Publishing New York

This book is dedicated to all the women with whom Ive had the honor and privilege of stepping on the field since I first played this game. Its been a gift to have you as teammates and friends.

CONTENTS

RULE

RULE

RULE

RULE

RULE

RULE

RULE

RULE

RULE

RULE

introduction

I cant remember a time when I didnt want to play soccer. As a very little girl, sitting on the sidelines of my older brothers games, I had one thought running through my head the entire 90 minutes: I want in. Whatever this game is... I want to play it. I wanted to be running and pushing and kicking and sweating and scoring. I wanted to be on that field. I had never seen any girls play, but that didnt bother me. When I was seven, I begged my mom to find me a team, and she didand the moment I put on my uniform, laced up my cleats, and stepped onto the field for the first time, I was hooked.

Seven-year-old me was pretty impatient (so is 43-year-old me. Some things never change!). I was also loud, pushy, and aggressive, with a quick temper. That combination of personality traits didnt make things easy for me on a day-to-day basis, but on the soccer field, things were different. Those characteristics that earned me labels like difficult or bossy off the field actually helped to make me a goodno, a great athlete on the field. All the parts of me that other people tried to get me to soften or change, my coaches loved. My loudness and pushiness helped me win balls and score goals... and sometimes get yellow cards, but thats another story.

I am now a mother of two fierce soccer-playing girls (both of whom youll see celebrated in these pages), and Ive coached countless others. But growing up playing soccer in the eighties, things looked very different. Female-only soccer teams were few and far between. We didnt see little girls wearing Megan Rapinoe and Alex Morgan jerseys to nationally televised games. Indeed, when I first started playing, I wanted to be just like my older brothers. It wasnt until high school that I came upon Michelle Akers in one of my soccer magazines, and then I wanted to be just like Michelle Akers, who was so good and so tough and so strong. Today, as a photographer dedicated to giving girls lots of good and tough and strong role models, I get to photograph Michelle Akers (page 139)! And not just Akers, but Jessica McDonald (page 128) and Carli Lloyd (page 156) and more than a dozen other players who are following in the footsteps of Mia Hamm, Brandi Chastain, and Abby Wambach, who showed us just how amazing women playing soccer could be. And not just professional players, but athletes like my friends and former teammates Beth Foley (page 79) and Amanda Riepe (pages 154155) who helped pave the way for the next generation by being members of the first collegiate womens soccer team that their school fielded.

Me with my first team, the Rovers

These days, it is estimated that 30 million women are playing the game worldwide. Look no further than the popularity of internationally revered players like Christine Sinclair (Canada), Ada Hegerberg (Norway) or Marta (Brazil) to see the global phenomenon that womens soccer has become. Listen to these women, and then to yourselves, because now it is your time.

Me, senior year of high school (Go Lions!)

And thats what this book is about. Speaking personally, I can say that while I gave a lot to soccer (all that bottled up energy!), it gave more back to me. The field and locker room (and bus, and training room, and long runs) were the classrooms where I learned the most in my life about teamwork, sportsmanship, and determinationand they are all rules I continue to live by: Keep Your Head Up. Play to Your Strengths. Find Common Ground. Make Every Minute Count . Ive learned that what your body can do is more important than what it looks like, that your teammates always will have your back and you should have theirs, sustenance is key, and that its important to recognize and celebrate what youre good at and not be afraid to show it off a little bit. As you turn the pages and see and hear from the many soccer-playing girls and women Ive had the good fortune to meet, youll find those very versatile lessonsand more. Because no matter your age and no matter your experience, there are some universal truths when it comes to this beautiful game.

After photographing and meeting the amazing subjects in this book, I feel hopeful. Hopeful that our passions, like soccer, encourage us to be true to ourselves and live in pursuit of our dreams. By finding our voices on the field, we find it off as well. It inspired me to remember my superpowers, and that although I dont play soccer as much as I did when I was younger, those qualities that made me stand out on the field, make me stand out as a mom, as an author, as a business owner, as an advocate and photographer. This book helped me find my voice again and made me remember how much joy there is to be found within those white lines of the field.

There are so many voices telling us not to be who we really are. Sometimes it is hard to remember or figure out who that is. We dont have to listen to the nos or the shouldnts. You can own your strength. You can celebrate it. You can play like a girl.

Soccer has taught me how to be a better communicator.

amisa age 13

Keep Your Head Up

A nyone who has ever spent time on a soccer field knows this game can be tricky. One minute, youre winning and on top of the world, and the next, youre down 21 and your head is spinning. You dont quite know what happened or why. Maybe it was a pass that didnt quite connect, or an otherwise amazing shot that hit the crossbar. Soccer is fluid, and the game is always changingjust as in life. There are literally thousands of split-second decisions you make in a single game: Some end well, others not so much. Your job, as a player, is to stay connected, keep your head on a swivel, and anticipate what is coming next. Sometimes a player gets unlucky, and when that happens, the very best thing she can do is keep going: No pouting, no moping, no complaining to the refereebecause shell miss the next play. You cant control your luck, but you can control how hard you work.

Unlucky doesnt mean youve failed. Unlucky doesnt mean youre done. It simply means you did the best you could, but in that split second, the goal, pass, win, just didnt happen. It also means that if you keep your head in the game, the next split second will go your way.