Perspective
Sometimes we react to things disproportionately to their importance. When something has just happened, it may be difficult to put it in perspective because our feelings seem very powerful. Yet we know from past experience that in a couple of days were unlikely to feel so strongly about it. To gain this perspective in the moment ask yourself, Will this matter in a years/months/weeks time?. It probably wont, so why worry about it now?
Listening
When someone is talking to you, concentrate solely on whats being said, rather than asking yourself Whats in it for me? or What does this mean for me?. Such thoughts can detract from the relationships we have with others. At that point youre simply there to listen. If you engage fully in listening to others, your relationships improve.
Solitude
To truly know ourselves we need to spend time alone. Many of us find solitude with no external stimulation boring because we are accustomed to filling our time with work, sport, watching TV or socialising. While these activities are important, we all need balance in our lives. Allow yourself quiet time alone to get to know who you really are.
Significant Others
Fostering meaningful relationships is one of the best ways to feed your soul. Most of us have meaningful relationships with only a few people because it takes time and effort to build and maintain close relationships. Think of these people as your significant others. Why worry what a non-significant other thinks? Your time is precious, so be aware of how you use it.
Happiness
Rather than focusing on what makes you happy, think about what happiness is. Most of us imagine that happiness will come when we achieve certain goals. But happiness isnt reliant on external factors it is totally within us. We create our own happiness every moment by our attitude towards ourselves and the world around us. If you expect happiness to arrive when something else does, you will be very disappointed as it will always elude you. However, if you realise that you can create happiness, it has the potential to be with you always.
Priorities
Spend time today thinking about your life priorities. Are you supporting your priorities by the amount of time youre allocating to them? Consider the following: family, health, happiness and money. Which of these is most important to you? If you didnt put happiness first, you may be setting yourself up for the scenario Ill be happy when.... Making happiness conditional upon achieving something means it can come and go depending on circumstances. Happiness is only dependent on how you choose to think at any given time. It is possible to be happy without one, two or even three of the above factors. If you make being happy your top priority, youre more likely to achieve it.
Relationships
The best relationships exist when each partner allows the other to grow. This might mean spending time alone or participating in hobbies the other partner doesnt share. If each partner is able to grow and develop as an individual then the relationship benefits enormously. When problems arise in a relationship, its very easy to run away by ending the relationship. Yet every issue that confronts us gives us an opportunity to learn about ourselves and others. If we run away, we learn very little. If we end the relationship without learning how to effectively resolve the problems, we may face the same problems in future relationships. Healthy relationships where problems arise and are resolved are very fulfilling.
Reactions
There are times when we find ourselves at the receiving end of someones anger or frustration, and we imagine theyre directing this emotion at us. The reality is that their reaction isnt about us at all, but about them. If someone is angry about something you did, listen for any truths and take the lesson. But remember that their reaction is a reflection of themselves and theres no need for you to take it personally.
Advice
Dont be afraid to ask for and accept advice from others. We tend to see our own concerns from a limited perspective. Asking for advice means youre willing to consider a new perspective, which will be more objective than your own. It may even provide a clarity that youve been unable to reach on your own.
Truth
Be true to yourself. Do things because you want to do them, not to please someone else. Sometimes being true to ourselves means standing up for something we believe in, or speaking up when previously we might have said nothing for fear of a negative reaction. We owe it to ourselves to be guided by our convictions.
Change
Accept that change is inevitable. We can choose either to accept change or resist it and suffer the consequences. Change provides us with many lessons and opportunities for growth. Even though we might be pushed out of our comfort zone and required to do something in a different way, this doesnt mean that things will take a turn for the worse. The learning available to you as a result of change may improve your life. Have faith that things will turn out well.
Feelings
The feeling of being taken advantage of is powerful for some. Its a feeling that someone has crossed our line of acceptable behaviour. As a result, we may feel negatively towards them, which may transform into guilt for us. If you find yourself in this situation, be honest about your feelings. The effects of not being honest with other people are far worse than the effect honesty has on them. A relationship might be saved by honesty, but without it the relationship is bound to suffer.
Souls
We are all human beings with souls. If we see loving, kind and caring behaviour in someone we are glimpsing their soul. If we see anger, irrationality and jealousy it doesnt mean that person is without a loving soul, it just means that they are keeping it well hidden. If someone behaves badly towards you, they are probably very unhappy in themselves. Until we can act from our highest self, which is loving and compassionate, we affect our own happiness.
Responsibility
Its important to be honest enough with ourselves to take responsibility for all outcomes we had a part in creating, whether good or bad. Some people take credit for all things good, and blame others for all things bad, while others do the very opposite. Neither of these scenarios is likely to be true for anyone. We are each responsible for some good and some negative experiences in our lives. We should feel good about ourselves for the positive experiences, and reflect on the wisdom we gained from the negative ones.
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