Wiggins - Manifesting Healthy Relationships: The Secrets To Finding Love, Romance And Your Soulmate For Life

Before we discuss how to manifest a healthy relationship, we really need to define what we mean by healthy relationships.

Your idea of relationships is always based on observations and personal experience.

Observations begin during your childhood.

However, it's not all about the quality of the first relationship you saw from the inside. In other words, whether or not your parents relationship was intact during your childhood, your first exposure to a relationship was necessarily limited.

You weren't there to see it begin.

You dont know what the relationship was like before you were born. You didnt get to see every private moment, some of which were crucial to how the relationship developed and changed.

You were also too young to fully understand a lot of what happened, even though you witnessed many of the outward actions between your parents.

The simple fact is, your first exposure to a relationship wasnt enough to properly shape your future expectations.

As you grew up, you undoubtedly observed other relationships. You might have had a general idea of which relationships were good or bad. But, once again, what you were able to see of those relationships was limited.

With some relationships, you might have seen only the bad. In others, you might have thought you were witnessing the perfect relationship - without realizing that you were really only seeing what the couple carefully orchestrated and decided you would see.

Exposure to books, television, movies, and even tabloids likely further shaped your definition of a healthy relationship.

Romantic novels and movies that you've read and seen have also likely given you nearly impossible expectations.

On the other hand, television shows, music, and tabloids may well have fed doubts that made you paranoid and distrustful about relationships.

When it came time to experience your own relationships, at best you probably went in without knowing exactly what to expect. At worst , you may have been a jumbled, confused mess by the time your first relationship possibility came along.

The truth is most relationships just happen . Very few people sit down with their partners and discuss their expectations and speak openly about their strengths and weaknesses.

Have you ever done that with a significant other? Probably not.

Its more likely that you began each relationship without much thought and simply tried to mimic the relationships that you observed throughout your life up to that point. Right?

Its perhaps odd how much our observations and experiences affect our outlooks.

Were so quick to judge the most private moments of others when we see a couple interacting, arent we?

I give them a month.

He doesnt deserve her.

They belong together.

Shes probably cheating on him.

What could she possibly see in him?

Even people in government (through the law) judge private relationships and decide who should and shouldnt be together.

Based on how little we actually know of the relationships of others, its not difficult to see that our judgments might be skewed. In fact, it's not a stretch to say that our judgments are almost always off-base!

Consider that those observations and judgments tend to make up what we consider normal or abnormal. Can you see how judgments about your own relationships might end up a little skewed as well?

If your relationship looks like most of the other relationships that youve seen in your life, you probably think its what should be called normal. It might even seem comfortable and right.

But is it healthy?

Lets compare unhealthy and healthy relationships without all of these misconceptions and assumptions born of our necessarily flawed and incomplete observations.

UNHEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS

In an unhealthy relationship, at least one of the participants feels inferior, abused, neglected, victimized, or otherwise unhappy on a regular basis.

Notice that I didnt say someone in the relationship is inferior, abused, neglected, or victimized. Thats an important distinction missed by people involved in unhealthy relationships.

Its enough to feel these inadequacies within a relationship for us to label it unhealthy.