Milinda J Reed - The Everything Guide to Divorce: All You Need to Navigate This Difficult Transition and Get On With Your Life...Find the Best Lawyer...Manage Your Emotions...Resolve Custody Issues...Secure Your

THE
EVERYTHING
GUIDE TO
DIVORCE

Dear Reader,
If youre reading this book, you are probably going through or about to go through a very painful period in your life. I hope the information in this book will help you go forward armed with knowledge about the road ahead. Having experienced divorce for myself and having held the hands of many clients as they ended their marriages, I have had a unique perspective of the scorched earth left behind after a contested divorce.

If you take only one thing from reading this book, learn to compromise and be tolerant. If you can ma ster these traits, your divorce and postdivorce life will be far more pleasant and your children will grow up happier, kinder people.

Welcome to the EVERYTHING Series!

These handy, accessible books give you all you need to tackle a difficult project, gain a new hobby, comprehend a fascinating topic, prepare for an exam, or even brush up on something you learned back in school but have since forgotten.

You can choose to read an Everything book from cover to cover or just pick out the information you want from our four useful boxes: e-questions, e-facts, e-alerts, and e-ssentials.

We give you everything you need to know on the subject, but throw in a lot of fun stuff along the way, too.

We now have more than 400 Everything books in print, spanning such wide-ranging categories as weddings, pregnancy, cooking, music instruction, foreign language, crafts, pets, New Age, and so much more. When youre done reading them all, you can finally say you know Everything!

Answers to
common questions

Important snippets
of information

Urgent
warnings

Quick
handy tips

PUBLISHER Karen Cooper

DIRECTOR OF ACQUISITIONS AND INNOVATION Paula Munier

MANAGING EDITOR, EVERYTHING SERIES Lisa Laing

COPY CHIEF Casey Ebert

ACQUISITIONS EDITOR Katie McDonough

ASSOCIATE DEVELOPMENT EDITOR Elizabeth Kassab

EDITORIAL ASSISTANT Hillary Thompson

Visit the entire Everything series at www.everything.com

THE
EVERYTHING
GUIDE TO
DIVORCE

2ND EDITION

All you need to navigate this
difficult transition and get on with your life

Milinda J. Reed, Esq.

Copyright 2009, 2003 by F+W Media, Inc. All rights reserved.
This book, or parts thereof, may not be reproduced
in any form without permission from the publisher; exceptions
are made for brief excerpts used in published reviews.

An Everything Series Book.
Everything and everything.com are registered trademarks of F+W Media, Inc.

Published by Adams Media, a division of F+W Media, inc.
57 Littlefield Street, Avon, MA 02322 U.S.A.
www.adamsmedia.com

ISBN 10: 1-59869-866-4
ISBN 13: 978-1-59869-866-4
eISBN: 978-1-60550-751-4

Printed in the United States of America.

J I H G F E D C B A

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
is available from the publisher.

This publication is designed to provide accurate and authoritative information with regard to the subject matter covered. It is sold with the understanding that the publisher is not engaged in rendering legal, accounting, or other professional advice. If legal advice or other expert assistance is required, the services of a competent professional person should be sought.

From a Declaration of Principles jointly adopted by a Committee of the
American Bar Association and a Committee of Publishers and Associations

Many of the designations used by manufacturers and sellers to distinguish their products are claimed as trademarks. Where those designations appear in this book and Adams Media was aware of a trademark claim, the designations have been printed with initial capital letters.

The material in this book is provided for informational purposes only. Readers should consult with their personal financial or legal advisors before utilizing the information contained in this book. The author and the publisher assume no responsibility for any damages or losses incurred during or as a result of following this information.

This book is available at quantity discounts for bulk purchases.
For information, please call 1-800-289-0963.

For Bob
thanks for all the words that mattered. I think of them often.

For my family near and far
thanks for believing in me and helping me find my way.

Contents

1 Do You Really Want a Divorce?

2 Youve Decided to Divorce

3 What about the Children?

4 Deciding Whether to Hire a Lawyer

5 Hiring and Working with Your Lawyer

6 What Courts Can and Cant Do

7 Alternative Dispute Resolution

8 Beginning the Divorce Process

9 The Discovery Process

10 Custody and Visitation

11 Child Support and Spousal Maintenance

12 The Marital Estate and How to Divide It

13 Moving Toward Trial

14 The Trial

15 The Judge Rules

16 Being Parents after a Divorce

17 Special Considerations in Divorce Actions

18 Moving On

Appendix A Glossary

Acknowledgments

Most people think that lawyers learn to be lawyers in law school, but I disagree. Lawyers learn to be lawyers from their interactions with people. Thanks to all the people who taught me about the law, from professors to judges to chief court clerks, who kindly and sometimes sternly helped me understand how to practice law. Thanks to all my clients, who taught me about people and the complicated and messy intricacies that shape intimate relationships.

Special thanks to Katie McDonough, my editor from Adams who shaped the books format and kept me focused, and to Patricia, for introducing us and always being a great friend.

Top 10 Things Youll Learn
after Reading This Book