Gail Snyder - Angry Girl?

You are so mad you want to scream and throw something! How do you stop yourself from doing something you'll regret later? Angry Girl? Girls Dealing With Feelings discusses the causes of anger and its biological, emotional, and social effects. It also provides research-based information on how to handle it in a healthy way. Take a quiz to find out if you anger easily and learn how to improve the situation.

I couldnt believe it when my mother told me that I couldnt go to Kelseys party. I had been looking forward to it for weeks. Mom told me I had stay home just because I had gotten another bad report card. I tried to tell her how unfair it was, but she wouldnt listen to me.

I ran upstairs to my room and slammed the door so hard it cracked. Then I scooped up a sculpture of a dog I made that my mother really liked and hurled it to the floor. It broke into a million satisfying pieces. I was standing in the middle of the room with my heart pounding and my hands curled into fists. All I could think was, what else could I throw?

Jenna

Jenna was experiencing all of the physical symptoms of having kicked into anger mode. Her heart was racing, her body was stiff, and she couldnt think clearly.

Whenever you are angry, your body automatically reacts the same way, regardless of the situation. Your muscles get tense and your heart starts to beat faster. These changes in your body mean you are physically ready to respond to the threat before you.

This response is known as the fight-or-flight instinct. It has been part of being human since prehistoric times, when people needed to deal with wild animals and other dangers. The instinct allows the body to prepare to stand and confront a threat or to run away.

This fight-or-flight instinct is an automatic response that helps protect you from harm. But it also occurs when there isnt any actual physical dangeronly the feeling of needing to protect yourself from some kind of threat or danger. The same response happens whether a speeding car is hurtling toward you, or you hear a particularly nasty insult from a boy you cant stand. This protective instinct causes your body to respond whenever you feel irritated, disrespected, shamed, or embarrassed by others.

Lots of things can make you angry. Sometimes the unfairness of events in your life may seem overwhelming. It may be that one of your friends kissed the boy youve had a crush on, or a girl is spreading rumors about you at school. Or perhaps you believe that your parents are being unfair because they give your brother more freedom than you have. In all of these cases, you can experience various emotions, along with anger.

You may be having a lot of trouble dealing with your emotions these days. This is especially true if you are going through the physical changes of pubertythe stage when your body is maturing into that of an adult. Controlling your emotions during puberty can be especially hard. Thats because the emotional center of the brainthe amygdalais in charge. As you grow older, the part of the brain that handles reasoning and judgmentthe prefrontal cortexwill be in control. So while the amygdala is running the show, you can experience emotional highs and lows that make you feel like youre out of control. During this time in your life, even little things may set you off and make you feel mad.

Your changing moods are also affected by special chemical substances in your body called hormones. During puberty, the levels of hormones in a girls body, especially estrogen and progesterone, keep changing. These hormones affect behavior and mood. So when the levels of hormones in your body keep changing, your moods can change, too. You are also more likely to get angry because nobody seems to understand you.

Just feeling sad or stressed out can make you grouchy and angry over things that may not normally bother you at all. For example, if your life is going smoothly, a bad grade on your math test may upset you a little, but youll just resolve to study harder next time. However, if that same test result happens after youve been grounded for staying out too late, you are likely to get angry and upset. If you are tired or not feeling well, you may also be more likely to take offense or get angry.

How you express your anger. How do you act when youre angry? Some people physically and verbally lash out. They yell at or hit others, break things, or act mean. Theyre expressing anger by being aggressivethat is, by acting in hostile or violent ways. Being aggressive with others seldom solves any issues. In fact, it often leads to more problems because it makes the person on the receiving end angry, too.

However, it is possible to express your anger in ways that dont harm others. You are taking charge of your anger when you communicate your feelings in healthy waysthat is, by being honest and up-front but not hurtful. This way of talking with friends, parents, teachers, and other people in your life can help you improve your relationships with them.

For example, Elise and Jamie have been friends for a long time. But Jamie has a habit that has been getting on Elises nerves. Whenever Elise asks Jamie for her opinion, Jamie doesnt give one. She usually replies, I dont carewhatever you want. Jamies laid-back attitude had really been bothering Elise lately, and she finally decided to say something about it. Although she was feeling angry, she spoke calmly as she explained her frustration with Jamie. Although Jamie felt surprised at first, she appreciated her friends honesty, and she promised to make some changes. Both girls felt better about their friendship.

Getting a grip on your anger is important. Are you quick to anger? Do you break things when you get mad? Have you ever hurt anyone when you were angry? Did you feel bad about it afterward? Do you believe you are having trouble dealing with people because you cant manage angry feelings? If you answered yes to any of these questions, then you need some help dealing with your anger and learning better ways to express your feelings.

Just remember, feeling angry is normal. It is the actions you take as a result of your anger that can solve conflicts and problems, or make them worse. Anger can be a real problem in your life if you let it. But learning to manage your anger will not only improve your relationships with others, but also help make you feel better about yourself. By practicing some of the ideas and tips in this book, you will understand this powerful emotion and have the tools to handle anger in yourself as well as in others.

The fight-or-flight instinct typically involves the basic emotions of both fear and anger. Anger (like any other emotion) rarely exists for very long before another emotion or two come into play. If you can identify the pattern of emotions you are feeling, you are on your way to being able to take charge of them.

A part of everyones personality, emotions are a powerful driving force in life. They are hard to define and understand. But what is known is that emotionswhich include anger, fear, love, joy, jealousy, and hateare a normal part of the human system. They are responses to situations and events that trigger bodily changes, motivating you to take some kind of action.