Helene Lerner - The Confidence Myth: Why Women Undervalue Their Skills, and How to Get Over It

More Praise for The Confidence Myth

The Confidence Myth is the handbook for any woman looking to succeed in her career. Helene Lerner cuts through the noise and gets to the heart of what keeps women from succeeding in businessand how to get past it!

Barbara Corcoran, real estate mogul and star of ABCs Shark Tank

Helene Lerner tackles head-on the myths and truths about confidencea hot topic linked to womens success. Her straightforward, authentic approach incorporates practical tips and exercises to help build your confidence muscle. This book is a treasure trove of advice to help advance your career.

Sharon Orlopp, Global Chief Diversity Officer and Senior Vice President of Corporate People, Walmart

The Confidence Myth offers practical insights, tips, and tools that can help you move through your fears and spark your confidence. Its an indispensable read for women who want to become empowered and successful while staying true to their values.

Denise Morrison, President and CEO, Campbell Soup Company

This is a powerful and heartfelt book about what it actually means to have true confidence. Helene inspires women leaders to tackle the confidence myth and provides actionable advice for women to propel their careers to the next level.

Sylvia Ann Hewlett, Founding President and CEO, Center for Talent Innovation

The Confidence Myth is a must-read for every professional woman; it provides pragmatic advice for present and future leaders. Helene Lerners insights are extremely valuable for any woman who wants to develop into a world-class leader.

Ana Dutra, President and CEO, Executives Club of Chicago

Every woman needs to read this book. It confirms you are not alone in your fears and worries while offering solid strategies to get beyond them. I started dog-earing pages I wanted to return to until I realized it would be easier just to dog-ear the ones I didnt.

Janet Kelly, Senior Vice President Legal, General Counsel and Corporate Secretary, Conoco Phillips

We all struggle with knowing how to express our own value and move through our fears. This book walks women through these common struggles and helps them emerge as stronger, more confident role models. Helene Lerners combination of both honesty and insight makes this a valuable tool for women of all ages.

Mika Brzezinski, cohost of MSNBCs Morning Joe

The Confidence Myth

Why women undervalue their skills and how to get over it

Helene Lerner

The Confidence Myth

Copyright 2015 by Helene Lerner

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the publisher, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical reviews and certain other noncommercial uses permitted by copyright law. For permission requests, write to the publisher, addressed Attention: Permissions Coordinator, at the address below.

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First Edition
Paperback print edition ISBN 978-1-62656-202-8
PDF e-book ISBN 978-1-62656-203-5
IDPF e-book ISBN 978-1-62656-204-2

2015-1

Cover design by Crowfoot/Leslie Waltzer

Book design and production by Beverly Butterfield

Copyediting by PeopleSpeak

Indexing by Rachel Rice

I dedicate this book to the people
who have shared their insights
with me through the years and
the talented women who will
be moved to step up

Appendix A:
Thirty Days of Confidence Sparks

Appendix B:
The Women and Confidence Survey: Methodology and Results

What would change if you felt more confident? Would you have a better job with more responsibilities, making more money? Would your personal life look different? Would your conversations be more honest? Think about this for a minute.

If you said yes to any of these questions, lets look at some of the reasons why you arent where youd like to be. You probably want to address both external and internal factors. Externally, women face cultural prejudices that impede our advancementwe are confronted by gender inequities every day. We get frustrated because sometimes our goals have to take a backseat to navigating through this resistance.

But despite these obstacles, some women have been able to move up to the C-suite. So how did they do it? Do they, internally, have more confidence than the average woman? These questions intrigued me.

As an expert on womens issues, I am often asked how to develop confidence. This question kept coming up, so I thought it was time to write about the important topic of women and confidence. I interviewed a number of successful women leaders to find out their thoughts, and after talking to them and reflecting on my own experiences in the workplace, I realized that Confidence with a capital C is a myth. No one has the confidence issue all sewn up, but theres this pervasive misconception that some of us do.

Confidence is often understood to mean

Being comfortable with oneself (true)

Courageously taking action while not knowing the result (true)

Practicing fearlessness (false)

Fear is actually an inherent part of stepping out in a new way. Too many of us wait until we feel comfortable that all of our skills line up before we make a move, and as a result, we miss out on the big breaks needed to advance our careers.

The goal of this book is to demonstrate that most women in positions of leadership who have achieved high levels of success felt shaky at times, but they took action anyway. If they hadnt, they would have missed valuable opportunities to make a difference.

Truth be told, my level of fearlessness varies on any given day, even now. Looking back on my career, I often had to act as if I believed in myself when I was doubtful. My list of achievementstelevision host, author, diversity consultant, and founder of a popular career womens website certainly did not come easily to me.