Lancer Darlene - Codependency For Dummies

Codependency For Dummies

by Darlene Lancer

Codependency For Dummies

Published by John Wiley & Sons, Inc. 111 River St. Hoboken, NJ 07030-5774 www.wiley.com

Copyright 2012 by John Wiley & Sons, Inc., Hoboken, New Jersey

Published by John Wiley & Sons, Inc., Hoboken, New Jersey

Published simultaneously in Canada

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Library of Congress Control Number: 2012936411

ISBN 978-1-118-09522-5 (pbk); ISBN 978-1-118-22358-1 (ebk); ISBN 978-1-118-23687-1 (ebk); ISBN 978-1-118-26192-7 (ebk)

Manufactured in the United States of America

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About the Author

Darlene Lancer, JD, MFT is a marriage and family therapist, specializing in addiction and codependency. In her private clinical practice, she has treated individuals and couples for over 24 years. As program director she managed Brookside Institutes Los Angeles office for addiction rehabilitation. For two decades, shes been a consultant and workshop presenter at many rehabilitation facilities, including St. Johns, St. Josephs, and Brotman Hospitals, West Area Opportunity Center, Malibu Horizon, The Canyon, Milestones Ranch Malibu, and Promises Treatment Centers.

In addition to hosting two weekly Internet radio programs, Relationship S.O.S. and Decode Your Dreams, shes a frequent guest speaker on radio and has taught at universities, colleges, and various organizations, including the California State Bar Association. Ms. Lancer has also conducted meditation groups and trainings.

She was a senior mediator for the Los Angeles County Conciliation Court, where she helped families resolve custody and visitation disputes and domestic violence problems.

Ms. Lancer is the author of 10 Steps to Self-Esteem The Ultimate Guide to Stop Self-Criticism and has been published widely in professional and popular periodicals, including The California Therapist, Somatics, Family Law News and Review, Shared Transformation, and Whole Life Times. Her blogs appear on numerous websites, including www.Mentalhelp.net , www.Selfgrowth.org , www.WhatisCodependency.com , www.facebook.com/codependencyrecovery , and www.Darlenelancer.com .

Prior to becoming a psychotherapist, she had a successful law career, during which time she co-chaired the Beverly Hills Bar Entertainment Law Committee, edited two volumes for the Los Angeles Superior Court, and authored professional articles. She received a Masters in Psychology from Antioch University and a Juris Doctorate and American Jurisprudence Award from the School of Law at U.C.L.A.

Darlene Lancer is available for speaking engagements, expert interviews, and workshops. More information about her seminars and coaching packages are available on her website, www.whatis codependency.com .

Dedication

I dedicate this book to my children who grew up in a family rife with dysfunction and suffered from my ignorance and codependency before I embarked on recovery. Im so grateful that today theyre wonderful parents and have much healthier families of their own.

Authors Acknowledgments

There are many people I want to thank who have contributed to my own growth and knowledge about codependency over decades of experience. This book wouldnt have been possible without the love and support I found in Al-Anon when I timidly crossed the threshold of my first meeting 33 years ago. There were sponsors, therapists, and many individuals along the way who guided my recovery.

Im fortunate to have been trained by outstanding professors and supervisors who inspired me, in particular Drs. Hal Stone and George Oliver, as well as pioneers in the recovery field who helped and influenced me: Robin Norwood, Melody Beattie, Pia Melody, and Earnie Larson.

Additionally, Im grateful to the women I sponsored and the many individuals and couples who entrusted me with their pain and healing and allowed me the privilege of participating in their transformation to wholeness.

Im indebted to the encouragement and tolerance of my girlfriends who tirelessly listened and forgave me when I jabbered about codependency or was too busy to talk at all because of writing deadlines. I especially appreciate the theoretical conversations with colleagues Flora Golden and Dr. Shari Butler.

Id like to acknowledge the excellent staff of John Wiley & Sons, Inc., the steadfast vision of my acquisitions editor Erin Mooney Calligan, and the help of my project/copy editor Susan Hobbs.