McKay - You can still wear cute shoes : and other great advice from an unlikely preachers wife

What people are saying about

You Can Still Wear Cute Shoes

Lisa made me laugh and clearly is making the most of her life as a pastors wife. She constantly points us to the Savior as the only one who can make sense of this hectic life. This book should be required reading for pastors wives around the world.

Kathy MacDonald, wife of Pastor James MacDonald, Harvest Bible Chapel

Every pastors wife can benefit from reading this book! I desperately wish Id had something like this to guide my steps when I first became a PW! Witty, insightful, and authentic, this book is entertaining and profoundly helpful for women trying to navigate the choppy waters of ministry, marriage, and family. Lisa writes about her own experiences in an engaging and transparent way, providing a sense of connectedness and community for her fellow pastors wives. I highly recommend this book to any woman who finds herself married to the ministry!

Jodie Howerton, wife of Pastor Mike Howerton, Overlake Christian Church

It is difficult to find real, relevant resources for pastors wives. But Lisa has really delivered. This book will be an encouragement for any woman in leadership.

Lori Wilhite, wife of Pastor Jud Wilhite, Central Christian Church

In You Can Still Wear Cute Shoes, Lisa McKay is a steady hand at the elbow of every newly minted pastors wife. With candid vigor and gentle humor, she helps pastors wives understand how to walk in gracewithout losing their style. Whats more, she offers access to a real-time community of pastors wives who assemble online in order to support and care for one another and, if needed, talk each other off the ledge. Are you a pastors wife? Take a deep breath, strap on your sassy sandals, and dig in to this book.

Bonnie Grove, author of Your Best You and Talking to the Dead and wife of Pastor Steve Grove, Louise Street Community Church of the Nazarene

Finally a book thats honest, relevant, and a fresh voice for pastors wives. Lisa McKays writing style makes you feel like you are sitting down to have a cup of coffee with a girlfriend. And ministry wives definitely need a good girlfriend! If you are looking for a special gift for your pastors wife, youve found it. And if you are a pastors wife, you need this book!

Jill Savage, author of Real Moms Real Jesus, CEO of Hearts at Home, and wife of Pastor Mark Savage, Crosswinds Community Church

YOU CAN STILL WEAR CUTE SHOES

Published by David C. Cook

4050 Lee Vance View

Colorado Springs, CO 80918 U.S.A.

David C. Cook Distribution Canada

55 Woodslee Avenue, Paris, Ontario, Canada N3L 3E5

David C. Cook U.K., Kingsway Communications

Eastbourne, East Sussex BN23 6NT, England

David C. Cook and the graphic circle C logo

are registered trademarks of Cook Communications Ministries.

All rights reserved. Except for brief excerpts for review purposes,

no part of this book may be reproduced or used in any form

without written permission from the publisher.

The Web site addresses recommended throughout this book are offered as a

resource to you. These Web sites are not intended in any way to be or imply an

endorsement on the part of David C. Cook, nor do we vouch for their content.

All Scripture quotations, unless otherwise noted, are taken from the Holy Bible, New International Version . NIV . Copyright 1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society. Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved. Scripture quotations marked NASB are taken from the New American Standard Bible , Copyright 1960, 1995 by The Lockman Foundation. Used by permission. Scripture quotations marked KJV are taken from the King James Version of the Bible. (Public Domain.) Scripture quotations marked MSG are taken from THE MESSAGE . Copyright by Eugene H. Peterson 1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 2000, 2001, 2002. Used by permission of NavPress Publishing Group. The author has added italics to quotations for emphasis.

LCCN 2009910649

ISBN: 978-1-4347-6726-4

eISBN: 978-1-4347-0084-1

2010 Lisa McKay

The Team: Susan Tjaden, Sarah Schultz, Caitlyn York, Karen Athen

Cover Photo: Strong Tower Photography

Cover Design: Amy Kiechlin

First Edition 2010

Luke,

If the fact Ive just finished a book giving advice to ministry wives isnt sidesplitting hilarious, I dont know what is. This baby is definitely my Isaac. I dont know that anyone can fully appreciate the irony and laugh along with me except for you, my husband and best friend. You know above anyone else how much we never saw this coming. You also know what a sweet ride this life has been. Of all the ways God could have chosen to define me, I will forever be grateful that He made me the wife of a pastor and the mother of the four most amazing preachers kids. I would live every moment of it all over again.

Thank you for releasing me to do the things God has asked of meespecially when it means you eat grilled cheese sandwiches for supper instead of gourmet Hamburger Helper. One day well be feasting at Jesus table, and something tells me it will never be disappointing. I hope Ive made it up in other ways, though I cant think of what those are just this minute. I suppose the fact I dont deserve you is why I remain humbled that God gave you to me anyway.

In his heart a man plans his course,

but the L ORD determines his steps. (Prov. 16:9 )

I love you!

Lisa

Contents

Foreword

Acknowledgments

Introduction

My Husbands Calling Is My Calling Too

I Can Still Wear Cute Shoes

I Can Potentially Be My Husbands Worst Enemy

Church Can Hurt

I Can Have BFFs in the Church Pews

How to Embrace My Own Thing

How to Raise My PKs to Keep the Faith

About the Joys of Hello

The Greatest Gift Is Love

Appendix A: For Pastors Only: Can We Talk?

Appendix B: Blogging

Appendix C: Resources

Notes

Foreword

I first discovered Lisa McKay in the blog world. My daughter, who is also a pastors wife, had found Lisas online encouragement refreshing. She thought Id enjoy it too. Little did I know that Id soon discover a new online friend.

No, Lisa and I have never met in person. Weve communicated through our blogs and the occasional email, but for the most part our friendship has developed because of her communication style. Shes down-to-earth, honest, and vulnerable. Her humor and wit help keep everyday ministry challenges in perspective.

Every pastors wife needs a friend like Lisa. We all need to be around other women who understand what our lives are like. Thanks to the publishing world, Lisa will now be that friend for thousands of pastors wives. Lisa has taken the time to share the wisdom she has learned from years of life in the fishbowl. Its time for a fresh voice for pastors wives, and Lisa is just that voice.

Ive been a pastors wife for over twenty years. Ive raised five children in the public eye. Ive served as a pastors wife in a church of three thousand and in a church of two hundred. The dynamics are different, but the challenges are the same. People are people wherever you go. And ministry is all about people. As a pastors wife, Ive experienced joy in having a front-row seat to watch God work. Ive also cried tears of hurt and frustration. Both are experiences that youve likely experienced as well. Those are the highs and lows of ministry.

In You Can Still Wear Cute Shoes , Lisa touches on all the aspects of ministry life. This book is like having a girlfriend in your back pocket. And if theres anything that ministry wives need, its a good girlfriend! If you are a ministry wife, I promise you will be encouraged. If you are part of a church and know a pastors wife, I guarantee you will be enlightened.