Mark Ballenger - 100 Relationship Signs: How to Know What God Is Saying to You in Singleness and Dating
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Is God telling you to wait on him for a spouse or is he telling you to be more proactive in dating? What will happen in your life when you meet the person God wants you to marry? How will God lead you to date the right person and protect you from entering into a bad relationship? Should you pursue friendship with that person you like? Should you date him or her? If you want to know Gods will for your life in singleness and dating, this book is for you. In 19 short chapters, Mark Ballenger outlines 100 clear relationship signs you can look for to help you figure out what God wants you to do (or not do) in singleness and dating.This book is packed with biblical and practical advice on discovering Gods leading in your life. Whether you are trying to decide if God wants you to remain single for now or if you are trying to decided if you are supposed to get married to the person you are dating, this book will help you find the answers you need to know.
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Relationship Signs
How to Know What God Is Saying to You in Singleness and Dating
By Mark Ballenger
Copyright 2019 by Mark Ballenger
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the publisher, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical reviews and certain other noncommercial uses permitted by copyright law.
For articles, free eBooks, and more resources by Mark Ballenger, please visit ApplyGodsWord.com.
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Unless otherwise noted, all Scripture references are from the ESV.
Table of Contents
Introduction
Does God Really Send You Signs About Relationships?
What is this book all about, anyways? It seems kind of fishy to me. Signs? Is that even biblical? Isnt it a lack of faith to ask God for signs? Shouldnt we just trust God, walk by faith, and believe that he will let us know what we need to know when the right time comes for a relationship to occur in our lives?
These are some of the questions I might have if I was walking through a book store and saw the title 100 Relation-ship Signs: How to Know What God Is Saying to You in Singleness and Dating. So before we really launch into the content of this study, I want to take a step back and first explain what I mean by signs and how I hope this book can be used in your life.
I am not using the word signs like a tarot card reader who tells you about your future and how you should live your life based upon what symbol is represented on the card she just randomly flipped over. Im not using the word sign to mean omen. And Im not saying that Christians should try to get prophetic glimpses into the future so we can know exactly what will or will not happen in our relationships.
When I use the phrase relationship signs from God all I mean by this is directions from God, information from God, messages from God, or road markers from God meant to point you in the way the Lord wants you to walk. I believe the Bible teaches us that God seeks to lead us moment by moment through the presence of the Holy Spirit. While Im not saying God cares what color socks you put on in the morning, I do believe God has important things to say to us as we navigate our lives and relationships.
Therefore, as we begin to discuss these relationship signs from God, what we are really talking about is how to find Gods answers to your relationship questions. If you ask a relationship question to God, I believe God will usually give you an answer. Certainly the answer might not come when you want or in the form that you expect; nonetheless, the idea that God would leave his children without his counsel in regards to relationships is ridiculous to me.
While many Christians might laugh at the idea that our sovereign God has time to worry about your relationship questions, I think we all need to take a step back and remember how powerful relationships are for both good or bad.
In relationships sin happens or obedience to God happens. In romance important boundaries are either crossed or respected. Although Gods grace is always enough to completely redeem us from sin, what you choose to do or not do in the context of relationships often has good or bad consequences for decades to follow. Through relationships Gods people can either be drawn closer to him when the relationship is Christ-honoring or they can be pulled further from him when a relationship becomes consumed with sin.
Of course our walk with God is more important than our relationships with other people. But our relationship with God will manifest in how we interact with other people. Romantic relationships are a huge part of the playing field for our Christianity. There are other very important relationships in our lives where we can glorify God: in our local churches, in our friendships, with our families, at our jobs, or at our schools. But perhaps the most powerful lure to pull people away from God for the majority of humans comes in the form of romantic relationships.
So I really do believe God has something to say about every phase of your journey from singleness into marriage. If you want to know if you should date someone, I believe God has something to say about that. If you want to know if you are called to a life of marriage or singleness, I believe God has words of direction for you. If you are wondering if you should break up or move forward with your boyfriend or girlfriend, I truly believe God wants you to consult him.
And lets not forget that of all the symbols God could have created to show the love relationship between Christ and the church, God chose the symbol of marriage to express this beautiful union (Ephesians 5:22-33). Therefore, the choices we make in singleness and dating that lead to marriage are obviously very important to God as well.
In what form will God send these relationship signs? This is another important question because when it comes to the word signs I think many of us imagine fantastic expressions of Gods power like the appearance of a human finger writing on a wall in Daniel 5, or the strange imagery we read about through the book of Revelations, or an interpretation of a dream sent to us by God himself.
While I would never mock such powerful signs from God because all of these types of messages are clearly in the Bible, this is not how I intend to use the word signs in this study. I believe God can speak in supernatural ways, but I also know God does speak to his people in at least three primary ways most of the time: through the Bible, through the Holy Spirit, and through the circumstances of our lives.
As we discuss the messages (i.e. signs) God might be sending you about your relationship questions, I intend to focus on these three forms of Gods communication to us. Ive talked at length about these three forms of commun-ication from God in my book called The One: How to Know and Trust Gods Sovereign Plan for Your Future Marriage . Ive also left some additional information in the appendix of this book about this topic. So I wont say very much about this right now, but just for the sake of clarity I think it would be wise for me to give a little explanation for how God speaks through these three means.
The first and most important way God speaks to his people is through his word. Gods word never changes. It has one meaning and through the Spirit, God will teach us what each passage of Scripture is meant to teach us (1 Corinthians 2:6-16).
However, while each Bible verse has one meaning, they all have countless applications. Gods word is not just a book to be studied in ivory towers but rather it is a rugged, living book meant to be applied to real life (Hebrews 4:12). Gods truth is not something to just be memorized or theologized. Rather, it must direct us in every consequential decision we will make on a moment-to-moment bases. If you want to know the will of God for your life, it will always start with knowing the word of God as you apply it to your life (James 1:22-25).
Its right to start with the Bible because the Scriptures not only tell us in descriptive terms what Gods will is for our lives, the Bible also teaches us how to correspond with the Holy Spirit God himself. The Holy Spirit will never contradict what he has already inspired in the Holy Scriptures (2 Peter 1:20-21), but I believe the Holy Scriptures do teach us that the Holy Spirit also guides us in ways that go beyond what the descriptive and prescriptive words of the Bible can do (Acts 8:29, Acts 20:22-23, Acts 21:4). In other words, there are morally neutral choices in life that God still has something to say about even though there will not always be a directly applicable Bible verse to guide you.
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