Lisa Anderson - The Dating Manifesto: A Drama-Free Plan for Pursuing Marriage with Purpose

NOTES

Chapter 1: Where Did I Go Wrong?

.Mark Regnerus and Jeremy Uecker, Premarital Sex in America: How Young Americans Meet, Mate, and Think about Marrying (New York: Oxford University, 2011), 169.

Chapter 2: Whats the Big Deal about Marriage?

Chapter 3: Ditch the Hollywood Script

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Chapter 4: Five Reasons Your Love Life Is a Disaster (or Doesnt Exist)

Chapter 5: Are You Marriageable?

Chapter 6: Prevent Dating Death

Chapter 7: Soooo, How Do I Actually Start Dating?

.Ephesians 5:2224; 1 Corinthians 11:3.

Chapter 9: Its Okay to Grieve

Chapter 10: Live a Little (Okay, Live a Lot)

Chapter 11: God Is Sovereign... So, Whatever

Afterword: A Note to the Church, Parents, Oldsters, and Married Peeps in General

GROUP DISCUSSION QUESTIONS

Chapter 1: Where Did I Go Wrong?

1. How do you feel about where you are in life right now? Are you where you thought youd be in your education or career? What about your relationships? What decisions (or nondecisions) have led you to the place you are today? Do you feel you need to do anything differently moving forward?

2. What is your current view on dating? What about marriage? How did you come to these conclusions?

3. What are you hoping to get out of this book?

Chapter 2: Whats the Big Deal about Marriage?

1. Is marriage a priority in your life right now? If so, how? If not, why not?

2. After reading this chapter, what do you see as Gods purpose for marriage, and why is it important?

3. What does it mean for you to honor marriage (Hebrews 13:4) even as a single person?

4. How do you feel about the idea marriage is for most people? Is it freeing or frustrating?

5. Describe your views on sex. How have your views been shaped, and how do they match up to the claims of the Bible? Do you struggle with feelings of shame about current or past sexual thoughts or behavior? If a virgin, do you have feelings of pride or entitlement?

Chapter 3: Ditch the Hollywood Script

1. If you were to make your ideal love story into a movie script, how would the story play out? Are any of your expectations based on our cultures view of love and romance? If so, how?

2. What qualities are on your wish list for a mate? Are these qualities realistic? Are they biblical? How might your list need to be changed after reading this chapter?

3. Describe the fears or regrets that keep you from taking risks in life and relationships. What do you need to do to prioritize a healthy relationship over a pretty face, a project, or an impossible ideal?

Chapter 4: Five Reasons Your Love Life Is a Disaster (or Doesnt Exist)

1. Do you believe in the concept of the One? Why or why not? How do your views on the idea of a soul mate affect the way you date or anticipate potential relationships?

2. Which, if any, of the five reasons do you see in your own life? Describe how you got to this spot. How does it make you feel?

3. What steps can you take to get unstuck from any unhealthy relationship patterns?

Chapter 5: Are You Marriageable?

1. Describe being in a position to marry. What does this mean for you, specifically?

2. Describe the marriage examples you had growing up. Have they positively or negatively affected your confidence in moving toward marriage yourself? Explain.

3. Of the six qualities mentioned as necessary to maturity, which need some attention in your life right now? What next steps can you take to move forward in these areas?

Chapter 6: Prevent Dating Death

1. Visualize your role in the dating process. What does it look like? Does anything about your current mindset or attitude need to change?

2. Respond to this quote from Carolyn McCulley: Men trust God by risking rejection; women trust God by waiting. How can this play out practically in your own dating experience?

3. How can men and women appropriately apply an active pursuit of dating to their own roles and responsibilities in the process?

4. Who in your life can you trust to be on your dating team? What will it take to assemble this team and put it into action?

Chapter 7: Soooo, How Do I Actually Start Dating?

1. How do you define the word dating ? Do you think theres a commonly understood definition that exists? Why or why not?

2. What are your biggest frustrations with dating? What confuses you?

3. Describe your experience (or nonexperience) with dating up until now. What, if anything, has tripped you up along the way? Do any patterns emerge as you think about this?

4. In what ways could you stand to grow when it comes to relating to the opposite sex? How will you go about pursuing that growth?

5. What is your current commitment to sexual purity? How can you better safeguard your mind and heart, both now and if/when you start dating?

Chapter 8: Get Your Numbers Up

1. Do you date more or less than youd like? What factors play into this?

2. Do you ever feel the pressure of too many options? Explain. How do you respond to this pressure?

3. Think about your daily routinewhere you work, play, go to church, etc. Are your current habits and activities conducive to meeting new people, especially those of the opposite sex? Why or why not?

4. Which of the ideas suggested in this chapter might you try in order to mix things up and get out of a rut? Write down a couple of possibilities, along with a corresponding plan for getting started.