Carruthers - Freedom from toxic relationships: moving on from the family, work, and relationship issues that bring you down

Transpersonal psychotherapy, the context in which this book is based, often includes meditative states and energy workthe sensing of flows of energy linked to emotional states. Deep spaces of perception and receptivity give access to extraordinary vision. They are not things we normally see with everyday eyes. In fact, in the cold light of commonly agreed-upon reality, some people find it hard to reconcile what they have themselves experienced in spaces of deep awareness. This is particularly the case from the viewpoint of Western science-based education and the dominance of left-brain logic and physical evidence.

For others, the memory of what they have seen and felt in their deeper knowingness convinces them that reality is not always as it appears on the surface. The profound transformations that emerge from these experiences are proof of their value and their meaning. We might hesitate to mention our very personal inner reality, but it doesnt mean its not real, and many might relate to the stories in this book.

Our own particular inner landscape might be a place of safety and connection or, at times, a dark, lonely abyss in which we feel cut off, abandoned, unseen or unrecognized. The ways in which these inner states work with our consciousness are through dreams, symbols, and images of various structures that owe their particular form to our cultural background or personal experiences. Powerfully meaningful and often profoundly transformative, they show us the way out to health and wholeness. They allow us the means for redemption.

Perhaps you already practice meditation or have felt the flow of energy through your body while practicing qi gong, tai chi or yoga. Perhaps you have felt the effects of an oppressive, controlling or draining relationship on your health or your equilibrium, and wish to understand it and be free of it.

Energetic cords are unconsciousoften sentimental or compulsiveemotional ties to past and present relationships, pre-conditioned by our wounds. They are made of toxic emotions such as fear, guilt, blame, hatred, obligation, grasping need or pain. Learning to be aware of, detach from and transcend this very human trap comprises the main content of this book. Esoteric terms are used where there are no simple equivalents in lay language to provide a frame of reference to describe deeper experiences. These terms refer to the subtle bodies: astrality or the astral body of our thoughts and emotions; the etheric or life-force body; the Egoic body, which is our representation of spirit incarnate; and samskarathe Sanskrit word for a scar on the astral body. They provide a basis for understanding the sticky, magnetic nature of energetic cords and the difference between a cord relationship and one that is not tied by conditioned emotions, but coexists in Egoic presence. This concept introduces the possibility to connect consciously and at will with those we love in an eternal present that goes beyond geographical space and even beyond death.

The stories of the bewildering, toxic effects of energetic cords derive from the forty-odd years of my experience and practice. Working with the unconscious and higher consciousnessand their wondrous depictions of psychic, emotional and physical statesthe transformative insight of conscious perception is a constant revelation, whether they are symbolic representations or more tangible, felt-as-though-real experiences. This modality remains an invaluable tool for interior knowing and a road map for change that inspires a sense of the numinous in its travelers. In this landscape, sacred rituals then follow naturally. Their power helps people heal long-nursed hurts, paralyzing fears, puzzling conditions of ill health, and frozen development that prevents people from leading lives that are freeor even just finding out what they really want.

I have recorded my clients individual perceptions of cords as faithfully as possible, while changing their names and identifying details. Some stories are combined where similarities indicate common experiences to which many people might relate and to draw together elements of essential truth. I am deeply grateful for the generosity of all who have graciously shared their explorations and perceptions.

AVRIL CARRUTHERS