Rita Louise PhD - The Dysfunctional Dance Of The Empath And Narcissist: Create Healthy Relationships By Healing Childhood Trauma

Copyright 2020 by Rita Louise, PhD

No part of this book may be reproduced or utilized in any form or by any means: electronic, mechanical or otherwise, including photocopying, recording or by any informational storage and retrieval system without permission in writing from the author.

Although the author has researched all sources to ensure the accuracy and completeness of the information contained within this book, no responsibility is assumed for errors, inaccuracies, omissions, or inconsistency herein. Any slights of people, places or organizations are completely and totally unintentional.

ISBN # 978-0-9758649-5-1

Library of Congress Control Number:2019919108

First Edition

Printed Dallas, TX, USA

This book is dedicated to all of the men and wome n who have survived a life filled with trauma and abuse.
Happiness is possible.

Acknowledgements

I would like to take a moment to thank all of the beautiful people who have helped me in my journey from dysfunction to living a blessed life.

First and foremost, to Dr. Fran Assaf, DC, who held my hand as I went through the dark night of the soul. Dr. Fran, I would have never made it through without you.

To Debbie Adams Gullett who let me borrow her brain and bounce things off of it. Deb, I didn't mean to make you cry when you read this text, but I hope it helped you on your own journey.

Thanks also go to Chris Rice, LPC, who helped me to understand what a healthy relationship is like versus one filled with abuse. Who knew?

And last, but never least, to Lieutenant Colonel Barney Patrick Morris (US Army R etired) for just loving me. Thank you!

Contents

Introduction

My Story

The Many Shades Of Abuse

Physiological Impact Of Abuse

Was I Abused?

Parenting Styles

Inside A Parents Mind: What Were They Thinking?

Inside The Abused Mind

Early Attachment Patterns

Core Or Limiting Beliefs

Defense / Coping Mechanisms

Family Roles

Beyond The Physical Body

The Aura And Subtle Bodies

The Chakras

How It All Works: Energy Flow and the Subtle Energy System

The Energy Of Thoughts & Emotions

In The Moment

Emotional Triggers

The Present Moment

Intrusive Thoughts

The Empath & Narcissist

The Creation Of Empaths And Narcissists

The Anatomy Of An Empath

Highly Sensitive People

Empaths

People Pleasing: The Aversion To Displeasing

The Anatomy Of A Narcissist

The Covert Narcissist

Behind The Mask Of The False Self

What Is Narcissistic Entitlement Really?

The Dysfunctional Dance Of The Empath And Narcissist

The Lifecycle Of A Narcissistic Relationship

The Narcissistic Relationship - Part 1

The Narcissistic Relationship - Part 2

The Narcissistic Relationship - Part 3

The Thrill Is Gone

The Addiction Of Trauma Bonds

Narcissistic Withdrawal

Exit Strategy

Rising From The Ashes

The Journey To Me-dom

Starting Over

Addressing The Fear Of Change

Will The Real Me Please Stand Up?

The Four Selves

Mindfulness

Mindfulness Practice

Journaling For Health And Well Being

Letting Go And Letting God

Addressing Anger And Resentment

Forgiving Yourself

I Was Such A Fool

Steps To Forgiveness

Develop An Attitude Of Gratitude

Energy Medicine

Ritual Purification

Grounding

Interacting With Your Aura

Aura Fluffing

Deprogramming

Healing With Flower Power

Cutting The Cords That Bind Us

Moving On

Working With The Law Of Attraction

Internet What?

Then What

Boundaries: The Foul 10 Letter Word

Before I Go

If you have experienced a pattern of toxic relationships plaguing your life, you probably do not understand why you keep getting into these hurtful situations in the first place. People do not go looking for the rotten apple at the bottom of the barrel, yet for some reason, we repeatedly bring them into our lives.

I know that was not my goal. Over the years, I finally accepted the fact that it was my lot in life, that I would always attract awful men. I was a failure at relationships. I would continually hope that the next man in my life would be better and treat me kinder. But, relationship success alluded me. That is until a chain of events shifted my perspective on my relationships and myself. This set me on a journey of healing that I will share with you. So, if the idea of learning to love yourself and by extension, finding someone who will honestly love you back is what you seek, then your dreams can come true. I know . I t happened to me.

I feel it is essential to start this journey, our journey, with a brief discussion of my achievements. It is not because I want to let everyone know how great I am, but instead for you, the reader, to see how, on the outside, I seemed to have my life together. Honestly, I thought I did. This misconception continued until a series of events transpired that shattered the illusion. My psyche entered into the dark night of the soul. With it was the hope of a new life, a whole new me emerging on the other side.

The change, or should I say revelation, was dramatic and without ceremony. It was put right-square in front of my face, and I had no choice but to deal with it. So, I am going to start with who I am, or at least, who I was, and go on from there.

On the outside, my life looked successful.

I have always allowed spirit, God, the universe, whatever you want to call it, to lead me, and the direction my life would take. At least I tried. I started reading metaphysical books when I was about 13 and got my first deck of tarot cards at 18. Concepts such as ESP, metaphysics, and personal growth fascinated me. At 30, I found the Berkeley Psychic Institute and studied with them for two years before venturing out on my own, where I created a private practice doing psychic readings and energy healing s .

I was again guided to go back to school (I already had my undergraduate degree in Industrial Design) and graduated with an advanced degree as a Naturopathic Physician and finally a Ph.D. in Natural Health Counseling. I have worked for over 20 years as a practicing medical intuitive and energy healer, which has been my full-time source of income. I have helped countless people from around the world find themselves and experience wholeness on physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual levels. Not meaning to be big-headed about it, but I am pretty darn good at what I do.

I have authored five books on a variety of topics, including why we get sick from a subtle energy perspective, energy medicine techniques, ghosts, and the paranormal as well as two books on ancient mysteries. I founded the Institute Of Applied Energetics, which trains individuals to work as an energy medicine practitioner, intuitive counselor, or medical intuitive. I was also the host of a successful internet radio show called Just Energy Radio. I have appeared on radio and television. I was even in a movie and got to see myself up on the big screen. I have also written countless articles that have appeared in print and online around the globe.

People, who know me, often comment that I always seem grounded. They see me as a kind and loving individual. They suggest that I "fit well into my skin" or that I am authentic because what you see is what you get. Many perceive me as being fearless and suggest that I have the biggest balls of anyone they know. Excuse my French.