Nancy Colier - Cant Stop Thinking: How to Let Go of Anxiety and Free Yourself from Obsessive Rumination

In this delightful book, Nancy Colier shows very clearly how addiction to thought is responsible for most human suffering. Clearly our fundamental nature as awareness is intrinsically free of thought. Read this book and experience the freedom to create your reality.

Deepak Chopra, MD, author of Total Meditation

I, too, cant stop thinking, and Im a meditation teacher whos been meditating daily for over forty-five years! But not to worry. In Cant Stop Thinking, Nancy Colier helps us clearly understand how to loosen the tight grip of mental grasping and fixation which brings so much stress. She shares the secret of inner freedom and self-mastery to be able to do whats good for us without self-imposed limitations.

Lama Surya Das, the American Lama, author of Awakening the Buddha Within

One of the most liberating blessings we can receive is the realization that we are not our thoughts! Cant Stop Thinking r eminds us that, as we learn to meet our mental stories with a patient, forgiving, and wakeful presence, we awaken to the mysterious and loving awareness that is our true home.

Tara Brach, author of Radical Acceptance and Radical Compassion

What would life be like if we could recover from our addiction to thinking? Weve reached the limit of stress and confusion by believing I think, therefore I am. Nancy Colier helps us take one of the most important steps in life, to realize I am not my thoughts. This is not stop thinking, but ways to break the addictive habit of picking up the first think. What a gift!

Loch Kelly, author The Way of Effortless Mindfulness and Shift Into Freedom

Nancy Colier asks the question, What do you miss, and miss out on, because you are consumed by thinking? With practical exercises and insightful stories, Cant Stop Thinking leads us through an exploration of our minds and ultimately to awareness and understanding.

Sharon Salzberg, author of Lovingkindness and Real Change

A warm, insightful, and precise guide to making sense of the trickier parts of the human mind.

Ethan Nichtern, author of The Road Home

Rather than fighting with our thoughts, Nancy Colier teaches us to step back from them into a more calm, aware, and nonjudgmental witness space. From this space the thoughts lose some of their hold on us, and we can discover who we really are. Coliers methods are a stand-alone approach to thinking, but also a wonderful complement to other psychological and spiritual practices, including meditation and mindfulness.

William L. Mikulas, PhD, professor emeritus in psychology at the University of West Florida, and author of Taming the Drunken Monkey

Publishers Note

This publication is designed to provide accurate and authoritative information in regard to the subject matter covered. It is sold with the understanding that the publisher is not engaged in rendering psychological, financial, legal, or other professional services. If expert assistance or counseling is needed, the services of a competent professional should be sought.

NEW HARBINGER PUBLICATIONS is a registered trademark of New Harbinger Publications, Inc.

Distributed in Canada by Raincoast Books

Copyright 2021 by Nancy Colier

New Harbinger Publications, Inc.

5674 Shattuck Avenue

Oakland, CA 94609

www.newharbinger.com

Cover design by Sara Christian

Acquired by Elizabeth Hollis Hansen

Edited by Gretel Hakanson

All Rights Reserved

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Names: Colier, Nancy, author.

Title: Cant stop thinking : how to let go of anxiety and free yourself from obsessive rumination / Nancy Colier.

Description: Oakland. CA : New Harbinger Publications, [2021] | Includes bibliographical references.

Identifiers: LCCN 2020047115 (print) | LCCN 2020047116 (ebook) | ISBN 9781684036776 (trade paperback) | ISBN 9781684036783 (pdf) | ISBN 9781684036790 (epub)

Subjects: LCSH: Negativism. | Anxiety. | Criticism, Personal. | Intrusive thoughts. | Self-acceptance. | Mindfulness (Psychology)

Classification: LCC BF698.35.N44 C65 2021 (print) | LCC BF698.35.N44 (ebook) | DDC 158.1--dc23

LC record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2020047115

LC ebook record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2020047116

For my girls, Juliet and Gretchen

Contents

Foreword

I can still remember the day I realized that my thinking was driving me crazy. As an aspiring academic in college, I believed in the value of the mind to create realms of complex thought that could solve all humanitys problems. But in my own life I had no control over my own thoughts, and I found myself obsessing about a new relationship to the point that I was so anxious I could barely eat or sleep. Did she, or didnt she? Would she, or wouldnt she? The doubts and negative scenarios my mind churned out had sucked all the joy out of life.

So I finally did what I had contemplated doing for years, since I had begun studying the spiritual traditions of the East as a freshman. I took a subway downtown to a traditional Zen center and embarked on the practice of meditation. Little did I suspect at the time that this was the beginning of a lifelong dedication to the spiritual life and to discovering how we can free ourselves from suffering and live happy, peaceful, awakened lives.

It took me years of following my breath and watching my thoughts as a good Zen student to gradually gain a little distance from the obsessive ruminating that plagued me. In those days there were no shortcuts, no readily available guidebooks on the nature of the mind, no one to say simply, Look, snap out of it, youre not your thoughtsin other words, no books like this one. For Cant Stop Thinking distills a lifetime of wisdom, gleaned from the authors own meditation experience, her teaching of others, and her decades of counseling clients on working with the mind, into a concise how-to manual for disidentifying from your thoughts and finding peace and contentment in the present moment, without years of meditation.

As Colier suggests, were addicted to our thinking and believe we cant enjoy life without identifying with the endless stories the mind churns out. Indeed, we take this complex narrative to be who we really are, the truth of our being as a separate self, and were afraid of what life might be like without it. Sure, we may be suffering mightily, but we firmly believe that the suffering is an inevitable result of whats happening outside of us, what others are doing to us, what life is imposing upon us, rather than seeing it as optional and within our power to regulate. We may even have an allegiance to our suffering because we believe we need to atone for the mistakes weve made, shoulder the legacy of family pain, and learn the lesson its trying to teach us.

Colier invites us to kick this addiction and forswear this allegiance by taking a single radical step in a new direction. Instead of blaming circumstances out thereover which, after all, we have very little controlwe can turn the finger back upon ourselves and realize that the source of our suffering lies within, in the judgments we make, the stories we perpetuate, the interpretations we project. Life is the way it is, not always pleasing or painless, but we can choose how we respond to it. And the most radical, freeing step of all is to recognize that you are not the content of your thoughts; you are the awareness in which these thoughts arise and pass away.

This realization is the first step on the path of awakening from the dream of separationwhat the spiritual traditions call enlightenment. For the past forty years, Ive been guiding seekers on the journey of awakening, and this first step is always the most powerful and life-transforming. You are not your thoughtswhat an extraordinary insight! When you see this once and for all, youve opened a doorway to a whole new way of beingone that offers the promise of a peace, happiness, and fulfillment that cant be shaken by the ups and downs of life. Cant Stop Thinking leads you by the hand through this door, and beyond.