Shelby Wagner - Learning to Dance in the Rain Ii: Surviving Grief, Internet Dating and Romance Scams!

LEARNING TO
Dance
IN THE RAIN II

Surviving Grief, Internet Dating and Romance Scams!

SHELBY WAGNER

Copyright 2020 by Shelby Wagner.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the copyright owner.

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Getty Images are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

Certain stock imagery Getty Images.

Rev. date: 01/27/2021

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I found this book to be very insightful and filled with important information regarding what to look for when participating in the dating scene, especially as a senior woman. It provides valuable tools and strategies when communicating with people on social media. Since I had been defrauded of a lot of money in a dating scam. I can only wish I had been aware of these tools years before. Ms. Wagner is a gifted writer. I hope she continues to share her experiences in the fu ture.

- Judith Co oper

January 17, 2019

This book is a very good read. Lots of good advice concerning grief and pulling yourself up again to start all over. It has a lot of good advice for online dating (or any kind of dating). Shelby is a very interesting and talented wr iter!

- Linda Rehm eyer

Music Teacher, Enterta iner

As a happily married woman of forty-eight years, I found this book to be very enlightening. Several of my friends and relatives are widowed or divorced, and they are starting the dating scene. .. again. This book helped me become aware of their journey through loss, trials, depression, and finally the success of living again and becoming whole. This book covers many subjects that women of all ages will probably go through at some point in their lives. It is a must read that will help readers understand a womans journey through life.

- J.K. Davis, author of
Secrets Best Sh ared,
- quilter, teacher, and fr iend

Contents

This book is dedicated to my family.

Life

is not a bout

Waiting for the

S torm

to Pass;

It is a bout

Learning to D ance

in the Rai n.

Vivian Gr eene

Shelbys book is inspiring to all women and men. She took a vast subject and divided its complexities into individual sections. It is relatable, intellectual, and investigative. Wagner starts her book as a broken woman and ends a strong one. Her journey through the toils of online dating is eye opening and will be helpful to everyone out there trying to find the one. This book is both a self-help guide and a genius approach to conquering romance scammers. Much like a profiler, she brings the essence of a sleuth examining the mysterious men of the internet. Do they want you for you? Are they preying on you? Are they after your money and nothing more? Shelby takes her readers on a ride they wont soon fo rget.

Samantha Stone, Events Coordinator/ Volunteer Facilitator/ Activities Coordinator St Joseph County Commission on Aging. August 23, 2018.

Many thanks to my family and to my dear friends Josie Briggs, Judy Cooper, June Davis, John Day, Ken Kooiman, Janet Hutchins, William Milton, Samantha Stone, and Patty Wolff-Wagner. I thank you very much for your help, support, encouragement, and patience with me during this time; for listening when I needed a friendly ear; for giving advice whenever I asked for it; and for taking the time to proof my manuscript. I really appreciate each and everyone of you.

[NOTE: Due to popular demand, this book is an expanded and updated version of my first book, Learning to Dance in the Rain - Dealing with Grief, Moving On and Online Dating, released December 19, 2018.]

The loss of a spouse is the most stressful event in ones life. In fact, when my husband suddenly passed away in 2016, I was devastated! Since I had married a man eight years older than I was, I knew it was a strong possibility that I would outlive him. I refused to think about it, however, telling myself I would deal with it when (and if) it happened. Fast forward fifty years and suddenly, it was no longer a possibility, but my reality. I had become a widow! Stunned, I had no idea how I was going to survive this terrible tragedy! Luckily, I had two supportive adult children who helped me get through the or deal.

I have told my story in four sections. In part 1, the story begins with my husbands last four days alive and the events immediately following his passing. It continues with my grieving and transition through the grief stages and into the unknowns as I share information and activities I found helpful in my survival. Part 1 is about helping those who are grieving by reminding them to take the time to grieve because it is through grieving that we are healed. It is through healing that we are able to survive the widowhood effect and become enabled to take back our lives and continue li ving.

Part 4 is a survival guide for internet dating and educates about avoiding the snares of romance scam mers.

A romance scam is a confidence trick involving feigning romantic intentions towards a victim, gaining their affection, and then using that goodwill to commit fraud. Fraudulent acts may involve access to the victims money, bank accounts, credit cards, passports, e- mail accounts, or national identification numbers; or forcing the victims to commit financial fraud on their behalf. In many instances, a mail-order bride scam will also bait the victim into committing felonies to establish citizenship for the perpetrator. )

During my journey of grief, I fell victim to a romance scammer, and I admit the damage was a lot more than the loss of the money. I didnt even like the guy, so my heart was not broken in that respect, but I knew better and still sent the money, thinking he would pay me back as he promised. Scammers are masters at manipulation and lies and no one can be certain that it will never happen to them. I certainly hoped that no one would ever find out what I had done! I did not plan to tell a soul. I was angry enough at myself for being so gullible, and totally humiliated when I finally had to admit what I had done. However, when I learned that I had lots of company and that they had lost even more than I had, I decided to help others make the wiser choice and stick to it. Do not send money (or gifts) to a stranger on the internet, until you have met in person many times and can verify unequivocally that they are deserving of your t rust!

In part 2 I share information on a variety of issues I found interesting and helpful as I transitioned through my period of grieving and pursuit of a new lifestyle. Part 3 is an introduction to internet dating with the good and bad.

I chose, Learning to Dance in the Rain as the title of my book, because the phrase reminds me to always look to the bright side, stay positive, be active, and it tells of my activity during the worst time of my life, learned to d ance.

PART ONE

The Rain

CHAPTER ON E

The Catastrophic Event

In January 2000, my husband, Bob, and I retired and moved to Tennessee to begin building our retirement dream home in the country. Our new house was a Deltec home with seventeen sides. It was circular in design and had no supporting interior walls, which enabled us to design our own unique floor plan and showcase the beautiful panoramic view of the Smoky Mount ains.