Christina Vazquez - The Uncherished Wife: Recover from the Emotionally Absent Man

The
Uncherished
Wife

Recover from
the Emotionally
Absent Man

BY

CHRISTINA VAZQUEZ

Copyright 2018 Christina Vazquez.

Author Photo Credit: Alexander Jibaja

Editing: Anna Paradox

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping or by any information storage retrieval system without the written permission of the author except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

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The author of this book does not dispense medical advice or prescribe the use of any technique as a form of treatment for physical, emotional, or medical problems without the advice of a physician, either directly or indirectly. The intent of the author is only to offer information of a general nature to help you in your quest for emotional and spiritual well-being. In the event you use any of the information in this book for yourself, which is your constitutional right, the author and the publisher assume no responsibility for your actions.

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Getty Images are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

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ISBN: 978-1-9822-1099-1 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-9822-1101-1 (hc)

ISBN: 978-1-9822-1100-4 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2018910153

Balboa Press rev. date: 09/18/2018

Contents

To my mother Michaelina with endless love, whose steady encouragement gave me courage to travel the road less traveled.

No one can make you feel inferior without your con sent.

Eleanor Roosevelt

CHAPTER ONE
Introduction

Your heart knows things that your mind cant exp lain

Unknown

Lets be honest. Brutally honest. I mean in-your-face courageous honest. The kind of honest that pierces the heart and moves us to change. Weve bought into the Illusion. Yep, from fiction novels to media and for most of us, our parents or caretakers a template, per se. A process to follow to be happy. An antiquated model that truly no longer serves us well. Weve been conditioned to believe there is some perfect formula to happiness unconsciously most of us blindly believed our well-meaning authorities. There are no absolutes when it comes to fulfillment only preferences. That, in my world, is what we call conditioning. You see the only reason we believe what will make us happy is because somewhere along the line of our development it was implanted in us by some form of authority. Authority comes in many forms: parents, religion, culture, media, etc. Case in point if from birth we had been told go up to the mountains, live in a cave, and need no one, then we would have believed that would bring us happiness in life. Make sense? We only know or believe by what has been programed into us. Its no different than a computer. Wipe the computer and put in new software and voila! New beliefs! Thats simply all it is.

So each one of us steps into life with a set of beliefs about relationships that we are told will bring us lasting happiness. Until it doesnt. Very cerebral. So what got lost along the way? The small quiet voice within us did. Whether you call it Heart, God, Spirit, or intuition, its not cerebral.

So this book will be a passageway back to where you once left that part of you behind. My dearest, you either were blatantly told to dismiss it, to not trust it, or it was implied that it doesnt exist. The sad thing is that on my journey to find it again within myself, I found it was this voice I suppressed especially in the big decisions in life, i.e. marriage. Of course this whisper within would behoove us in all decisions in life, big or small, but most certainly in the life-altering ones!

So my goal here is to help you rediscover this voice within as we navigate through the struggles of your most significant and important relationship in life: marriage. Why? Why is it so important to access that part of ourselves in this relationship? Because it is without a shadow of doubt effects all other areas of your life and if we approach it too cerebrally, our heart will eventually catch up and you will find yourself telling yourself some story or lie to keep convincing yourself that you are happy. You see dear one, the mind is where the soul goes to hide from the heart. The mind can tell us whatever we need to hear to keep us from looking at the truth of our hearts.

It takes courage, real courage to get 100 percent honest with our self. Not even 95 percent is good enough to be hard-core honest with ourselves. And I absolutely know you have the courage within you to get to that level of honesty with how you are feeling in your marriage and, more importantly, about yourself within the marriage. Trust me! Ive been there it takes guts to face the truth of our hearts head on, but by Design, we are more than given the tools to stand in front of the mirror and see reality. I was that confused woman who could not decipher what was true for me and what wasnt sitting in a dark hole without a compass. Its a dark, heavy, scary place, but I am here to tell you there is a way to unveil the truth of your heart. I am honored to walk you through this exhilarating journey. Together, well explore every womans desire to be cherished by her partner so much that she develops herself into finding her true purpose. Its a very different way of looking at marriage than either the religious traditional model or the each man for himself modern style. I came to discover that I had that desire to be not only loved but cherished by my father as a child and later, a husband, too. It was quite the journey for me to discover that it was this missing piece in my soul that left me feeling crazy at times. And that it does not need to be this way.

This is why I was compelled to write this book so other women do not have to question themselves over and over and over and over when the illusion of the perfect husband still just doesnt feel right. So women dont have to keep feeling they are out of their minds for not being happy with the 4000 sq. ft. custom home, the vacations, the cushy lifestyle, the cars, upscale dinners, and jewels. Asking themselves, Am I loved? I guess? I mean I suppose by conventional standards. I mean isnt that what is implied ? Especially by our conditioning.

As a professional in the field of personal development, I am consistently astonished how little people know about relationships but even more so about themselves! Many of my clients are very educated professionals from doctors to engineers and yet in the area of emotional needs they are almost clueless! They are often so disconnected from themselves that when asked what they need or want in their marriage, they cant pinpoint it, at least on an emotional level. I do not say this with judgment but more with sadness that people have such minimal insight or awareness on this topic. They seem to lack the ability to connect how a relationship that makes a person feel that they are not only loved, but cherished down to the core, can determine if they are surviving or thriving.