Ben Morrison - Self-Esteem

Published in 2012 by The Rosen Publishing Group, Inc.
29 East 21st Street, New York, NY 10010

Copyright 2012 by The Rosen Publishing Group, Inc.

First Edition

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form without permission in writing from the publisher, except by a reviewer.

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Morrison, Betsy S.
Self-esteem / Betsy S. Morrison, Ruth Ann Ruiz.1st ed.
p. cm.(Teen mental health)
Includes bibliographical references and index.
ISBN 978-1-4488-4587-3 (library binding)
1. Self-esteem. 2. Adolescent psychology. I. Ruiz, Ruth Ann. II.
Title.
BF697.5.S46M665 2011
155.5'18dc22

2011008646

Manufactured in the United States of America

CPSIA Compliance Information: Batch #S11YA: For further information, contact Rosen Publishing, New York, New York, at 1-800-237-9932.

I f youve ever experienced a moment in your life when you felt like you werent good enough or popular enough or smart enough or attractive enough, then you probably already know what its like to have low self-esteem.

These are normal feelings and everyone experiences them at least once in their lives. Self-esteem is really about how we see and feel about ourselves on the inside. Its how we measure our worth to the outside world.

Self-esteem is especially important during your teen years. For example, a 2009 study found that teens who are overweight, or believed themselves to be, are more likely to attempt suicide than other teens. Researchers believe the problem stems from the low self-esteem that can result from the pressure to fit into an unrealistic standard of beauty. Regular depression screenings and obesity prevention programs are positive steps. But clearly the dangers of low self-esteem are real for many teens.

Low self-esteem is sometimes tied to a poor body image. Many teens find flaws in themselves that sometimes arent really there. The pressure for perfection in society is very strong.

Do you ever feel like you cant do anything right? Have you ever felt like you have nothing to offer the world? If you did, youre not the only one whos had little or no confidence in themselves. So dont worry. All of us doubt our abilities at some time or another. Its how each of us deals with those feelings, which separate those who go after what they want and those who are too afraid to try at all. If you let those feelings of doubt and insecurity completely take over your life, then you may never reach your full potential. The good news is that youre in charge of your self-confidence. Just because its low now, doesnt mean it has to stay that way. You can start building up your self-confidence right now by discovering what your real talents are and what truly makes you happy. When other people see that you feel good about yourself, you will have changed how the world sees you, too.

The best way to figure out your level of self-esteem and confidence is to take a close look at yourself. When you get dressed in the morning, you like to check yourself out in the mirror to make sure you look good, right? Well this is the same thing, except youre going to use a different kind of mirror. This mirror isnt made of glass. This mirror is in your head. Well call it the mirror of self-reflection. Examine who you are and how you feel about yourself and your life. Very few people do this, because they fear that they might not like what they see. But to build your self-confidence, you have to start with the reality of who you are and how you feel about yourself. As you begin to look at yourself, consider these questions:

Do you like who you are?

Do you believe in yourself?

Do you think you can do the things that you want to do?

Do you like the things that happen in your life?

Do you feel that you have any control over your life and how others see you?

Do you think that you are as talented and valued as other people?

If you answered no to most or all of these questions, you probably lack self-confidence and have low selfesteem. If this is the case, you are definitely not alone. Most people have some form of low self-confidence, no matter how sure of themselves they may seem. In a 1999 interview with the Dutch magazine Avant Garde actor Johnny Depp admitted to having very little confidence in himself when he was in high school. As a teenager I was so insecure. I was the type of guy that never fit in because he never dared to choose. I was convinced I had absolutely no talent at all. For nothing. And that thought took away all my ambition, too. In fact, it wasnt until Depp realized that he had a talent for playing music that his opinion of himself began to change. Eventually, he also discovered a talent for acting.

In a 1999 interview, actor Johnny Depp admitted to having low self-esteem when he was younger. Today, Depp is an Oscar-nominated actor who is widely regarded as one of the greatest of his generation.

Losing confidence in yourself is a normal part of life. Having confidence and not having it often goes in a cycle, almost like the way seasons change from one to another. So, dont be alarmed if you dont feel as good about your self anymore. It happens to all of us. In fact, it actually serves a purpose in protecting you from more bad experiences. Poor self-confidence and low self-esteem provides a risk-free comfort zone where you can hide. You wont feel comfortable in this comfort zone, but at least you wont risk anything by staying there. This comfort seems easier than working to improve yourself. But something strange happens in the comfort zoneyou end up using more energy staying where you are than you would use by developing your talents.

Suppose you move to a new state. Perhaps you were really good at a sport such as swimming, but you are nervous about trying out for the new schools swim team. As you wait to dive into the pool, your hands get very cold and your legs start shaking. You have never felt this way about swimming before. You think to yourself, If I dont do well now, I wont make the team and the others will think Im a loser. You walk around nervously but you cant shake the chill. When your turn comes, you might dive into the pool and swim well. But, because you are so anxious, you are likely to perform poorly. You may even decide to give up and not try out at all.

Making friends can be challenging, especially if you are naturally quiet and shy. But it is important to remember that your number of friends does not determine your self-worth.