Price - Self Esteem: Mastering Your Life! : Building High Self Esteem, Confidence and Defeating Doubt

Table of Contents

Introduction

Self-esteem is adescription that is often heard in conversations and interviews, so much sothat we have forgotten what its true meaning is. It is something that many ofus struggle with and it is something that can easily make you feel inferior ifindeed it is negative. Self-esteem can be defined in many ways. Oxforddictionary defines self-esteem as Confidence in one's own worth or abilities;self-respect. In Social Psychology by Eliot R. Smith, Diane M. Mackie andHeather M. Claypool, the authors define self-esteem in the following way: "Theself-concept is what we think about the self; self-esteem is the positive ornegative evaluations of the self, as in how we feel about it." Thus, itcan be seen that there are two types of self-esteem, the negative and thepositive.

Self-esteem playsa very important role not just in your business and career but also in everydaylife and your relationships with other people. Most people dont understandthat and think that there is little significance. There are many misconceptionsor false beliefs that people have about self-esteem. One of the majormisconceptions is that its private and personal and not meant to be sharedwith or shown to the whole world. Unfortunately, people will see it from yourbody language and the way that you react to different circumstances. Also manypeople believe that if they look happy and in control of their life outwardly,any struggle that they face inwardly has no value or is not really noticed.They think that if they can conceal it from others and put on a mask and act likethey are perfectly okay, everything will be alright but in reality that is farfrom the truth. In reality, it has a domino effect and self-esteem is the firstand the fundamental block.

No matter whatfaade you put up in front of others, it doesnt matter because you have tolive with yourself and if you are lying to yourself, then you will never behappy with yourself. You will start looking for approval from others and thatwill take a toll on you and on your relationships with them. You will go beyondwhat is needed to please other people and get their nod of approval and even ifyou do get it, there will come a time when you have to face yourself and whoyou are. When that time comes, you will find that you dont like yourself thatmuch. And the problem with others approval of you is that it can easilychange. They do not know your daily struggles. They have no idea of what you gothrough in your mind or how you past led you there. They do not know you fullyor well enough to pass judgment.

In this book, weshall see what self-esteem is and what the various symptoms of low self-esteemare, causes for low self-esteem and the different categories of self-esteem andhow to improve your self-esteem. Then we will look at another concept that isclosely related to self-esteem self-confidence, causes for lowself-confidence and give readers tips on regaining self-confidence andovercoming doubts.

This is a vastsubject but its one that you need to tackle because the balance of yourself-esteem will largely dictate the kind of relationships that you have withothers and your feelings about these relationships. Did you know, for example,that people who get into abusive relationships often do that as a result of lowself-esteem? You may not have put the two things together, but they do go verymuch hand in hand. The predator is waiting for just such people to walk intotheir lives because they make easy prey.

There is also thequestion of doing well academically or in the workplace. How you appear to beto others will make a lot of difference about the course of your career. If youlet low self-esteem get in the way of your career path, you could lose thepotential that you were born with and end up in a job that is not onlydissatisfactory but one that will add to your own unhappiness.

The link betweenself-esteem and happiness is a very solid one. How can you feel good about yourlife if you dont feel good about the person that you are? How can you gain allthe things that you feel would make you happy when you dont feel that youdeserve that happiness? Its a bit of a vicious circle and it may just havebegun at a very early age. We are programmed from the age that we first startlistening to the instructions of our parents to behave in a certain fashion. Youmay find that some of your self-esteem issues stem from the disrespect othershave shown you during the course of growing up. Did they intentionally do this?Most of the time, parents who put their children down and make them feelworthless dont do it intentionally. Remember, there is no training to be aparent and much of what happens during the course of your childhood is hit andmiss. Now that you are adult, you need to find a balance where you have yourself-esteem intact and regardless of putdowns in the past, can get beyond themand prove yourself to be a worthwhile person.

Problems withself-esteem will hold you back. They will take away the element of happinessthat every human being is entitled to but you need to understand the ins andouts of self-esteem before you can tackle these problems and start to see thatyou are a worthwhile person and have a role to play in life. Once you getthrough this book, it is hoped that you will understand it all a little betterand be able to walk with your head high in the future, toward a happier stateof mind.

Can self-esteemissues be overcome? Yes, they can butyou need to want to change and you need to recognize your part in the way thatyou feel. It may be that others have been unkind to you but ultimately theresponsibility for how you choose to live your life is yours. You need to seethings in a different light and it is hoped that this book can help you getbeyond the problems. As you walk through the pages, be aware that you are onlya few steps away from being who you would like to be instead of always tryingto live up to other peoples expectations.