Derek ONeill - Relationships: Would You want to Date You?

Would you want to date you?

by Derek ONeill

Copyright 2012 by Derek O'Neill

Smashwords Edition

Copyright 2012 by DerekONeill

For information aboutpermission to reproduce excerpts from this book writeto:

Derek ONeill

244 5th Avenue, SuiteD-264

New York, NY10001

E-Mail:info@derekoneill.com

First Edition

All rights reserved,including the right to reproduce this work in any form whatsoever(audio, visual, electronic, etc.). Such reproduction is expresslyforbidden without permission in writing from Derek ONeill, exceptfor brief passages in connection with a review. It is not theintent of the author to offer advice in any form, whether it isspiritual, psychological, medical, or other. If you are in need ofspecial assistance or advice, please consult with a properprofessional. The information within this book is offered as anavenue to inspiration and awareness. This book does not claim topossess all the answers, nor to heal or counsel. If you choose toapply the principles within this book to your life, that is yourconstitutional right.

Get a Grip Series Copyright2012

Editor: NancyMoss

Front Cover Design:Copyright 2012 by Derek O'Neill and Clea Owens

This ebook is licensed foryour personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold orgiven away to other people. If you would like to share this bookwith another person, please purchase an additional copy for eachrecipient. If youre reading this book and did not purchase it, orit was not purchased for your use only, then please return toSmashwords.com and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respectingthe hard work of this author.

Dedication

To all who read this book, I salute you forwanting to change the way you live for the better and for havingthe courage to be who you are as fully as possible.

To all who encourage me everyday to keep goingand sharing their lives with me, family small and large. But mostof all the little angel who came to teach me Alexa, mygranddaughter.

Everybody hurts sometimes, and when we do itis nice to have Derek ONeill around. His excellent little books onthe things that get us, (fear, anger, depression, victimhood,mental blocks) allow us to find our way safely through ourpsychological minefields and arrive safely at the other side. Readthem when you need them.

- Paul Perry, Author of the New York TimesBestseller Evidence of the Afterlife

When we hear the word relationships, wereinclined to think of the romantic connection between two people.Before exploring that fascinating, timeless dynamic of humanexistence, lets open up the definition of the word relationshipsto a wider, and very important way of thinking.

Relationships with other people are just onepiece of the puzzle. If we come to see that ALL of therelationships in our lives - to family, friends, your community,the world, your emotions, your belief systems, food, addictions,and even the family pet are barometers of how we coexist in anintimate relationship, we will expand our minds and have a betterunderstanding of what connection means. You cant separate theelements of your life into compartments, hoping that it will allfall together in some haphazard order. The way you move throughyour entire life creates a whole and complete picture. If youapproach all your relationships with a sense of who you genuinelyare, knowledge of a greater good, and a positive outlook, youllsee how you can thrive in a deeply satisfying, truly lovingrelationship.

Author's Preface

Thank you for purchasing Relationships -Would you want to date you? This book has not come about as aresult of my training as a therapist, but through some hard-learnedlessons that I have experienced myself. This is how I know the pathout of limiting beliefs and behaviors that hinder our growth. Thetools that I offer in this book have worked not only for me, butalso for hundreds, if not thousands, of people. I have shared theseideas in workshops, one-on-one sessions, and on my website. Throughobservation of myself and others, I have learned to identify thetriggers and root causes of disharmony. Most of all, I have come tounderstand and utilize the best methods to achieve peace andbalance again in life; not perfection, but real transformation andharmony that comes with learning who we are and what makes us tick.My 35 years of martial arts study has given me a refined sense oftiming for when to strike with the sword to cut away old patternsand beliefs, and when to use the brush to paint the picture in mymind of the life we deserve and can have.

These 'Get a Grip' series of books offertangible, authentic wisdom that will transform not only your life,but create a system for you that can help with all aspects of yourlife. You've made a great choice to invest in yourself by buyingthis book, or series of books. Let's change who we aretogether.

Derek

Though most people feel the longing to find asoul mate, it often feels perplexing, out of reach, or seeminglyfutile to connect with The One. Will they arrive on that whitehorse? Is the next person you chat with online going to be yourtrue love? Are they just around the corner, or are you destined toforever be alone? You might get on that dating treadmill, butafter all those dinners and movies, no one seems to be a goodmatch. Or maybe you thought you had found your prince or princess,only to wake up one day asking yourself how you could have been soblind to that disgusting habit, bad temper, or generalincompatibility with your partner. Was it all a big mistake? Weveall been through the experience of high expectation followed bymajor disappointment. And I think we can all agree that its notexactly a joyous ride.

Does it feel as if youre repeating a patternthat just takes you back to where you started? If you keepsearching for love and fulfillment, without an understanding aboutwhy it keeps eluding you, youll be in a cycle of defeat. Whatskeeping you from a truly satisfying romantic life and partnership?Are the other relationships in your life balanced and healthy? Howdoes everything you connect with in your life - people, places andthings and the interaction you have with them, reflect in yourquest for that soul mate?

Its a familiar scene You see a man, or awoman, and theres a fantastic spark at the first hello.Everything feels brilliant. Theres flowers, chocolates, finedining, lots of charming behavior and impeccable manners ondisplay. Well, Ive often told people that they would be better offgoing on a date, sitting down at the table at the restaurant,taking off their shoe and sock, and then start picking at theirtoenails! Strange as it may sound, its something interesting tothink about. If your date accepted you, just like this, youll havefound your soul mate! Its a symbolic example of how you shouldnthave to hide who you really are to a potential mate. You need to be100% true to yourself before you can bond with another person. Thisis the kind of relationship you should strive for. Its the type Ifound in my life, and its the kind of relationship that well lookat in this book. The answer to finding a wonderful, lovingconnection with someone else is having that union with yourself.The greatest relationship you have, from the beginning of your lifeuntil the end, should be with YOU.

When you embrace who you are, and stop thinkingyoull never find that soul mate, love will find you. Your mind isvery powerful. If you get to a stage in your personal developmentwhere there is true self-acceptance, compassion, and understanding,your mind will create the prince or the princess. It can also -depending on how you see yourself and the world around you - createthe frog or the troll! Your mind conjures the kind of life youhave. It is that powerful. We are all creating our own reality. Howwould you like yours to play out? Clear the way from negativethinking and embrace who you are.