Keith R. Miller - Quick Scripture Reference for Counseling Couples

2017 by Keith R. Miller and Patricia A. Miller

Published by Baker Books

a division of Baker Publishing Group

P.O. Box 6287, Grand Rapids, MI 49516-6287

www.bakerbooks.com

Ebook edition created 2017

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any meansfor example, electronic, photocopy, recordingwithout the prior written permission of the publisher. The only exception is brief quotations in printed reviews.

ISBN 978-1-4934-0649-4

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data is on file at the Library of Congress, Washington, DC.

Scripture quotations labeled ESV are from The Holy Bible, English Standard Version (ESV), copyright 2001 by Crossway, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers. Used by permission. All rights reserved. ESV Text Edition: 2011

Scripture quotations labeled GNT are from the Good News TranslationSecond Edition. Copyright 1992 by American Bible Society. Used by permission.

Scripture quotations labeled NASB are from the New American Standard Bible, copyright 1960, 1962, 1963, 1968, 1971, 1972, 1973, 1975, 1977, 1995 by The Lockman Foundation. Used by permission. (www.Lockman.org)

Scripture quotations labeled NIV are from the Holy Bible, New International Version. NIV. Copyright 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc. Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved worldwide. www.zondervan.com

Scripture quotations labeled NKJV are from the New King James Version. Copyright 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

Scripture quotations labeled NLT are from the Holy Bible , New Living Translation, copyright 1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

To all our students at Calvary Bible College.

You have impacted our lives more

than you will ever know.

Contents

Subject Guide

Acknowledgments

A special thank you to Baker Publishing Group and especially Chad Allen for the honor of requesting that we proceed with this fourth book in our Quick Scripture Reference for Counseling series.

Our great desire is that Gods Word will do its saving and healing work for all who use this book.

To God be the glory!

Introduction

The Purpose of This Book

This book is grounded on the sufficiency of the Word of God for faith and practice, for living the life that God desires, and for direction and counseling. It is written for men and women who are anticipating marriage or who are married and dealing with the issues of life together and for counselors and pastors who minister to couples. Topics have been chosen that are specific to those needs.

Context and Principles

We have made every effort to be true to context. For those texts for which the context does not totally fit, we believe the principles (timeless, universal truths) do apply to the topic being discussed. Many of the Old Testament passages refer, in context, to Israel. Yet the principles reflecting Gods care for his people and interest in their welfare can clearly be seen.

The use of passages from the Mosaic Law reflects our conviction that the traditional moral, civil, and ceremonial distinctions for that code are correct. Gods moral law, as summarized in the Ten Commandments, is applicable for all people, for all time. Though the civil and ceremonial laws are not our rule of life in this age of grace, they do reflect the mind of God on issues of right and wrong, good and bad. Thus principles are drawn from them for the topics.

What to Look For

There are two divisions: Part OnePreparing for Marriage is for couples who are engaged (or considering the commitment). Part TwoLiving in Marriage is for those who have already entered into marriage and need to understand biblical truth regarding the ongoing events of the relationship.

There are two avenues for locating desired topics: 1) a Contents section, with headings and topics grouped beneath, and 2) a separate Subject Guide, with all topics listed alphabetically.

The gospel is the first topic. It is necessary for everyone to be in a personal relationship with Jesus Christ as Savior and committed to him as Lord of their lives. It is essential to evaluate this issue before any counseling problems are addressed. Gods Word is useful in anyones life, but when believers use the Word, the Holy Spirit has power in their lives to help them truly understand Scripture and make necessary changes. Biblical counseling can then be effective.

The See also heading at the beginning of each topic points to related helpful topics.

Many of the topics begin with a paragraph of introduction that defines key words and concepts, setting the stage for what follows in the body of statements and supporting Scripture.

The section Practical Steps provides homework growth projects or action ideas. Use them as a starting point to stimulate your own creativity for additional steps.

The Resources section at the end of each topic is a guide to books and booklets helpful for further research and understanding. There is a wide range of authors and publishers, and each resource was chosen with care, but we would not necessarily agree with every statement contained in each book.

To avoid constant repetition of biblical texts, some of the topics provide cross-references to other related topics.

Because of space and copyright limitations, some of the verses are not printed, with many additional references listed for further study and application.

Who Might Benefit

First and foremost this book is designed to assist counselors, pastors, and anyone who desires to help men and women in the struggles, issues, and joys of married life.

Men and women who desire to live their lives together under the authority and blessing of Gods Word can use this book for personal study and application of the various topics.

This book can be used as a devotional. These topics could be a tool used each day for a man or womans time alone with the Lord. Taking two days for reading and study of each topic would provide over six months of concerted involvement in Scripture. The couple could discuss the topics together.

Those who teach in the local church concerning marriage could use the various topics as teaching or supporting material. Similar topics could be grouped together to cover a thirteen-week quarter.

Bible studies for groups, men, women, or couples could also find helpful material in this book.

The Gospel

The gospel is the place where our relationship with God begins.

A counselors first task is to determine if the person or couple has a personal relationship with Jesus Christ. Help can still be provided for the problems and struggles they face, but it is only when someone understands and applies the gospel personally that Scripture will make sense.

When a person has trusted Jesus Christ and him alone for salvation, Scripture, with the power of the Holy Spirit, will then truly be able to do its work.

Steps in Guiding an Individual to Christ

If possible, have counselees read the passages from a Bible.

1. Each person is separated from God because of sin and sinful behavior.

Romans 3:23 For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God. (NKJV)

Isaiah 53:6 All we like sheep have gone astray; we have turned, every one, to his own way; and the L ORD has laid on Him the iniquity of us all. (NKJV)

2. Sin must be punishedthat punishment is separation from God, in hell.

Romans 6:23 For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord. (NKJV)