Jenny Hershberger - Single & Content: A Journey from Despair to Delight

SINGLE AND CONTENT

A Journey from Despair to Delight

Text Copyright 2012 by Jenny Hershberger

Image Copyright 2012 by Jenny Hershberger

All rights reserved

Published in the United States of America

eISBN: 978-1-62020-163-3

Scripture taken from the NEW AMERICAN STANDARD BIBLE, Copyright 1960, 1962, 1963, 1968, 1971, 1972, 1973, 1975, 1977, 1995 by The Lockman Foundation. Used by permission.

Cover Design and Typesetting by Jenny Hershberger

Ebook Design by Anna Riebe

AMBASSADOR INTERNATIONAL

Emerald House

427 Wade Hampton Blvd.

Greenville, SC 29609, USA

www.ambassador-international.com

AMBASSADOR BOOKS

The Mount

2 Woodstock Link

Belfast, BT6 8DD, Northern Ireland, UK

www.ambassador-international.com

The colophon is a trademark of Ambassador

Glory to God in the highest... Luke 2:14a

Special thanks to Tara, my sister in Christ. It is with her diligence, affirmation, encouragement and prayer that this book has been written.

My lifes ambition, since the young age of eight, is to become the best wife and mother I can possibly be. I am in my early thirties. I have never had children. I have never been married. It has been painfully difficult to watch the years of my life come and go with these longings not yet satisfied.

For a season, I allowed the reality of these unfulfilled hopes to taunt me to a place of resentment which swiftly drew me into a desolate valley of spiritual despair. There, I desperately sought reprieve from my God. Though I am still a single woman, God has drawn me away from that desperate valley of malcontent. I am now standing on higher ground. Looking behind me, I can see where I have been and have a better understanding of why I walked the unpleasant path I did. It is my intention to share with you what I have learned so that you might find your way out of the valley of malcontent more easily.

Be encouraged while you are in the midst of your journey. we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose (Romans 8:28). I say to you, hang in there. Keep going. Do not lie down in the mud and give up. There is hope for good.

In Pauls letter to the Philippians, he wrote that he had learned to be content in whatever circumstances he was in. He had learned the secret of being filled and going hungry, both of having abundance and suffering need (Philippians 4:11-12). I am sure he was not happy about being hungry or suffering. But he was content. So often, we think that the only way to be content is to have what we want. It is not so. As you practice to trust God, thank Him and surrender to Him you will begin to understand what no human being can teach.

You can be single and content. It involves moving all of the focus off of yourself and putting all of your focus on God. It takes recognition that He adores you. It means humbling yourself and letting Him adore you. Trust Him to be faithful. Believe He is good. Recognize His provision in your life at this very moment. Seek His joy. That will be your strength (Nehemiah 8:10). If you choose to live your life saturated with His presence and receiving His blessings, you will testify to the world that God is good. Single, divorced, married, or widowed His plan for your life is for His glory.

God holds the master key for all locks. He holds the key to your contentment. He desires for you to be delighted in Him. Ask Him to help you gain delight. He will reveal the way. He will open doors that you have not seen before. At every turn of your life, ask God for help. You may even need to ask God to help you want to be content. He desires good things for you. Call out to Him. He will answer you (Psalm 138:3). Let Him help you.

My parents divorced when I was eight years old. The tragedy emboldened me. At a young age, I resolved not to repeat this sadness in my adulthood. I set myself on a serious path of character building and determined not to fail. The ultimate goal: to be the best wife and mom I could possibly be. I have been diligently working toward this goal most of my life. All the while, being cautious of commitment, watching and waiting for that perfect match.

I have both yearned for a husband and also acknowledged that I do not need a spouse. My mother had felt pressured to get married. She regretted marriage. She did not want me to feel pressured to marry. She has always affirmed my singleness. My mother made a point to teach me basic home repairs. She taught me to change the oil in my car, etc. She hoped that I would never feel like I need a man to survive or function. It has been beneficial to know that I can be a whole and capable person without having a spouse. This encouragement has been a contributing factor to a healthy confidence. This edification has often compelled me to continue walking forward rather than freeze in fear of ineptness. However, I still know that I am missing something in lieu of my do-it-yourself upbringing.

As human beings, we have the inescapable, God-given desire for companionship. God did not design us to be alone. God made man. God said that it was not good for man to be alone. God made woman for man (Genesis 2:18-25). So why do I find myself without a husband? Rather than trusting God with what I did not understand, I started to resent my circumstances. I began a battle within myself because I did not see any fulfillment of companionship in my future. I was tired of the hurt and disappointment of the unfulfilled desires for marriage and children. I asked, is it okay for me to yearn for marriage if God does not have it in mind for me? Begrudged, I started to convince myself that marriage and children were not Gods plan for my life.

With great effort, I worked to resist my desire for marriage. I justified my resistance by telling myself that God said, it is not good for the man to be alone (Genesis 2:18a). He did not say anything about the woman. I thought, It is okay for women to be alone, just not men. I sinfully adjusted Gods word to convince myself of my own finite understanding. I should have faithfully received Gods word plainly. Instead, I resented my circumstances, which I did not understand, and felt sorry for myself. This self-pitying path and distortion of Gods word led me to a personal loss of hope. I had allowed myself to be sent into a spiral of despair! I had tried to deny and turn off my inherent and healthy desires for companionship. I told myself it was not Gods will for me to be married. The truth is, I do not know Gods detailed plan for my life.