Judson Edwards - Quiet Faith: An Introverts Guide to Spiritual Survival

Quiet Faith

An Introverts
Guide to
Spiritual Survival
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Judson Edwards

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Copyright 2013
Judson Edwards
Smyth & Helwys Publishing

Also by Judson Edwards

A Matter of Choice

Running the Race

Dancing to Zion

With Love, From Dad

Regaining Control of Your Life

What They Never Told Us About How to Get Along with Each Other

The Leadership Labyrinth

Hidden Treasures

Making the Good News Good Again

Blissful Affliction

For Nicholas and Abram,

who make me proud

Contents

: Confessions of a Quiet Christian

(Has the Whole World Gone Crazy?)

: Reclaiming the Center

(Whats It All About, Anyway?)

: A Nation of Salesmen

(Do I Have to Sell Jesus?)

: Some Said It Thundered

(Does God Ever Say Anything?)

: Welcome to McDonalds

(Can I Survive the Church?)

: Gambling on God

(Why Do I Have So Many Doubts?)

: Of Airplanes and Seaboats

(How Can I Make Sense of Scripture?)

: Quiet Faith

(How Can I Fashion a Quiet Faith in a Loud World?)

Introduction

I love to browse at bookstores. I can think of few activities more enjoyable than wandering through a bookstore, coffee in hand, looking for a book that just might provide me hours of delight. Ive discovered countless literary treasures on previous meanderings through bookstores, so Im always hopeful as I browse.

The problem I now face is the problem all book lovers and book browsers face: bookstores are vanishing from the face of the earth. There was a time when I had several little mom-and-pop bookstores where I could shopeccentric, out-of-the-way places full of character and personality. But they have gradually closed, one by one, and now I have two main options close to my house: Barnes & Noble or Barnes & Noble.

So I often go to one of those big bookstores and spend a couple of hours browsing. Or I browse online at Amazon, which is easier and handier but not nearly as much fun as actually going to a real store and touching and smelling real books.

But whether Im combing the shelves at Barnes & Noble or browsing online at Amazon, I am focused on the same delightful task: finding a book that will become a friend. I have many such friends in my study at home and feel comforted and rejuvenated in their presence. These friends have entertained me, instructed me, and given me joy when I needed it most. My life is richer because of them.

What I am always trying to find, of course, is that book written specifically for me. I know they are out there if only I can find them. They address my needs, answer my questions, have my kind of humor, and are written in my kind of style. Its as if the book should have stamped on its cover, Written especially for Judson Edwards. But because I have yet to see that message stamped on any book, I have to try to determine for myself if a book has my name on it.

It is entirely possible that you are involved in such a search yourself. You are looking at this book, wondering if it has your name on it, wondering if it addresses your needs and questions, wondering if its worth the price someone is asking you to pay for it.

Perhaps I can help you decide. Let me ask you some questions, and then you might be able to determine if this book is for you.

Do you ever feel out of step with contemporary American Christianity? Do you yearn for a quieter, more reflective way of experiencing God?

Do you ever think that we Christians have somehow lost our way and have started majoring on minors? Would you like to recover the essence of the Christian Way?

Do you cringe at the thought of evangelizing anyone? Does the prospect of having to sell Jesus to your family and friends fill you with dread?

Do you sometimes wonder if God speaks to people today? More to the point, do you sometimes wonder if God speaks to you?

Do you feel that the church is as much a hindrance as a help to your relationship with God? Are you frustrated by the conflict, pettiness, and bureaucracy in most churches?

Do you at least occasionally have doubts about what you have always been taught about God? Do you have major questions about God and the Bible that you cant mention to your Christian friends?

Are you very different from most other Christians? Do you sometimes wonder if you even believe in the same God those Christians believe in?

Would you like a quiet faith that is uniquely yours, a faith that is honest and real, a faith that gives you joy and sees you through the hard times you have to face?

If your answer is yes to most of those questions, this book might become one of your friends.

In the pages to come, I will try to answer those questions for myself and hope that you will be stimulated and helped by my thoughts. Even if you dont agree with all of my conclusions, perhaps you will be provoked to come up with some of your own. I plan to ask, seek, and knock and see what happens. I invite you to join me as we consider together how to forge a quiet faith in a world of hustle and hype.

If we are honest and persistent enough, perhaps Someone will answer the door and bless us with truth.

C HAPTER 1

Confessions of a Quiet Christian

(Has the Whole World Gone Crazy?)

The event Im going to tell you about happened more than twenty years ago, but I remember it as if it happened yesterday.

A nationally known mens conference was scheduled to come to Houston, where I was a pastor at the time, and some of the men in our church wanted to attend. They wanted me to attend, too, so one of them paid my way to go to the conference. On the appointed night, a group of ten or twelve of us got on our church bus and headed for the Astrodome.

The Dome was teeming with perhaps 40,000 Christian men. The evening is a blur in my memory, and there is much about it that I have mercifully forgotten, but I do remember some things. It was crowded, loud, and chaotic. Its probably impossible for 40,000 men to do anything quietly, and this conference bore that out. We jostled with thousands of men in the hallways, sat shoulder to shoulder with strangers in our cushioned seats, heard blaring Christian music, and listened to boisterous, energetic preaching.

We had a prayer time where we were asked to pray with the men around us. We were told to pray in groups of four, with one person praying until a bell rang, and then it was the next persons turn to pray. I remember feeling awkward about praying with strangers and shocked when, in the middle of my prayer, the bell rang. I stopped mid-sentence, and the man to my right started his prayer.

At some point during the evening, our host announced that, at the end of the service, all pastors would be invited to come to the front where men who were members of their church would lay hands on them and offer them words of encouragement. I remember feeling terrified by the possibility. Did I really want to go forward and have hands laid on me? Did I really want the men in our church feeling obligated to participate in such an event? The answers were no and no, so I did the only logical thing I could think of: I left.

Shortly after that announcement, I got up from my seat and wandered the halls of the Astrodome, feeling very alone. Why was I the only one in this throng of men turned off by the proceedings of the conference? What was wrong with me? This seemed to be a spiritual mountaintop for most of the men present, but for me it was sheer misery. Did I have a problem, or was it possible that the whole world had gone crazy, and I was the only sane person left?