JAIYA - Cuffed, Tied, and Satisfied: A kinky guide to the best sex ever

The information in this book is for entertainment purposes only. The fantasy and role-play ideas are intended for consenting adults who are knowledgeable about sex while still exploring and discovering their full sexual potential. If you have any health issues or concerns, please consult a doctor to ensure you are healthy and fit enough to engage in sex. The author and publisher expressly disclaim responsibility for any injury or other adverse effects that may result from the use or application of the information provided in this book.

Copyright 2014 by Jessica Kinzbach

All rights reserved.
Published in the United States by Harmony Books, an imprint of the Crown Publishing Group, a division of Random House LLC, a Penguin Random House Company, New York.
www.crownpublishing.com

Harmony Books is a registered trademark and the Circle colophon is a trademark of Random House LLC.

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication data is available upon request.

ISBN 978-0-8041-3808-6
eBook ISBN 978-0-8041-3809-3

Illustrations by Stasia Burrington
Photography by Sequoia Emmanuelle; stylists, Make Life a Ritual; makeup, Julie Brooks (Muse MUA); hair, Daved Munoz
Cover photograph: Gallery Stock/Richard Pullar
Cover illustrations: Shutterstock/Katya Ulitina (feather), Shutterstock/Kletr (whip), Shutterstock/Darko1981 (handcuffs)

v3.1

For Ian, may we always lead an ecstatic life

Your Mistress, Jaiya

I dont understand why this turns me on. I cant help but think that something is wrong with me because I like being tied up. Sandy glanced nervously at her husband, who still couldnt look me in the eyes. His wife of twenty years and the mother of his three children was admitting that her biggest desire was to be restrained while he made love to her. Sex was a very private thing for both of them, but Sandy felt dissatisfied. She wanted more spice, and her biggest fantasy was to be tied down and dominated. Her husband, Greg, was a soft, gentle man who would never want to hurt or disrespect a woman. Sandy wanted to be taken, and after she read the Fifty Shades trilogy she found herself feeling more and more dissatisfied with their very vanilla sex life. Thats when she dragged Greg into my office.

First, I reassured Sandy that there was nothing wrong with her desires. She had no traumatic history that even hinted at a psychological issue. Greg needed to hear why the idea of being restrained and dominated turned Sandy on so much. She explained to him that it gave her permission to let go and she liked the idea of a strong man taking control of her pleasure. This is a common theme. Sexual shame runs deep, so when a man takes control of a womans pleasure, she can suddenly let go and enjoy it like never before. If Sandy and Greg were going to do this together, then they both needed some serious training. Especially Greghe needed an entire erotic makeover if he was going to take on dominating her pleasure. They had a lot to learn.

Greg quickly got into the tips and tools of the trade; he was comfortable with ropes and handcuffs. His biggest challenge was embracing a dominant persona. He felt silly trying to personify something that he felt wasnt him. It took some time, but in the end, Greg learned how to find dominant aspects of himself that he could cultivate to please Sandys desire to be taken. He did it because he greatly loved Sandy and he wanted to satisfy her for the longevity of their relationship. Sandy grinned from ear to ear as she told me, For the first time in my life I had multiple orgasms, and they were amazing ! Greg grinned next to her, and I smiled too, knowing that their journey was just beginning.

I have the best job ever! Im a somatic sexologist, which means that I educate people about sexuality from a hands-on, body-based perspective. After the unleashing of Fifty Shades I found my private practice (and in-box) exploding with students who wanted to know how to create what they read about in the pages of this revolutionary trilogy. Tying my lover up was not part of my repertoire, but I decided that in order to better educate my students it was time to deeply educate myself. So I set out on a journey to discover everything I could about the world of kink.

I wasnt always so open about kink. Many years ago, I had a friend/lover who was into BDSM (BD = bondage and discipline, DS = dominance and submission, SM = sadism and masochism). Hed come home with bruises from his nights out playing in what I considered to be deep, dark dungeons. I couldnt understand why he would want this. Why would anyone want to receive pain from or give pain to someone whom they love? I had major judgments about this scary world, which I admit I knew nothing about. I simply thought that there must be something seriously wrong with this man whom I loved. Fast-forward a decade: Ive opened my mind. I currently have a lover who is turned on by kink. I have experienced out of the box sex and it has greatly enhanced my own sexuality. Im more connected to my lover (and having some of the hottest sex).

Not only have I worn the shoes of a feminine Dominant and submissive, but Ive also spent countless clinical hours working with couples in private practice and online. I understand the psychological and physical turn-ons for both male and female desire. My favorite part, however, is actually teaching beginners how to explore the realms of power dynamicsbringing kink into the light. Im like a guide in a dark forest, shining a light on what was once perceived as a scary taboo, only to find out its a golden key to wonderfully intense pleasure and connection.

My goal is to let you know that its perfectly okay to be turned on by what has been considered weird or kinky. Its time that kink went mainstream.

I always want to know the best practices that get the best results, not just for myself but for everyone. Its part of being a hands-on sexologist. Sure, I could read books (and I did, plenty of them) and lots of scientific studies (yep, read as many as I could find) and then spout out to you what I learned, but personal experience is the bedrock of being a great teacher. Therefore, I enrolled my partner in an experiment. I would dominate him for forty days and then we would switch, and he would dominate me for forty days. This way I would get the experience of being a female Dominant and a female submissive and I would have his valuable feedback. The 40/40 experiment had a profound impact on my relationship, which Ill discuss within these pages. Youll even get a peek into our personal journals as we went along. (And if you want all the nitty-gritty, be sure to visit www.mistressjaiya.com/40Switch.)

I went even further, spending lots of time with professionals in the world of kink and learning everything I could from hands-on experience. On my first day of the 40/40 project I apprenticed with a Dominatrix named Ivy Young. She became a foundational teacher as I explored dominating my own partner. Youll meet some of the amazing professionals with whom both my partner and I studied during the experience. The learning that I soaked in during this time was incredibly valuable, and not just on a professional level and for the purposes of this book; it took my sex life, relationship, and personal psychology to an entirely new level.