John Edgette - Get Your Kink On

Get Your Kink On

Dos and Donts of Sexual Exploration

Dr. J. H. Edgette

GET YOUR KINK ON

Dr. J. H. Edgette

Copyright 2021 Dr. J. H. Edgette

All Rights Reserved.

Paperback ISBN: 978-1-7354802-8-2

Ebook ISBN: 978-1-7354802-7-5

Published by: J. Galt & Associates

Book Cover & Interior/Ebook Design by Kimberly Peticolas, kimpeticolas.com

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission from the author, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical reviews and certain other non-commercial uses permitted by copyright law.

This publication is not meant to provide medical or psychological advice. It is for educational or informational purposes only. Any application to your specific mental health or physical conditions requires you to consult with your own healthcare provider. This book establishes no therapeutic contract between the reader and/or the writer. In the event of medical emergency or healthcare related concern, the reader is advised to seek diagnosis and treatment from a licensed provider in their state.

Case examples are entirely fictional and any resemblance to an actual person, is entirely coincidental. Names have been changed for privacy reasons.

Previously published as Mating in the Wild: Fucking for Fun. (2021)

Dr. J. H. Edgette

P.O. Box 1271

Fairfield, Iowa

USA

1 917-806-1850

John@edgettetherapy.com

Other books
by Dr. J. H. Edgette:

The Handbook of Hypnotic Phenomena in
Psychotherapy (with J.S. Edgette)

Winning the Mind Game: Hypnosis and
Sport Psychology (with Tim Rowan)

Hypnotic Erotic: A Practitioners Guide to
Sexual Healing

Psych Horse Handicapping: Using Your Head to Win by a Head and Be Ahead)

About the Author

D r. J . H. Edgette received his doctoral degree in clinical psychology in 1985 from Hahnemann Medical College and Graduate School in Philadelphia, PA. He has practiced as a psychotherapist for over thirty years in agencies, clinics, group practices, and private practice. H e has been licensed as a clinical psychologist in Iowa, Illinois, and Pennsylvania.

He n ow practic es as a sexologist, life coach, and c hangeologist. H e is the author of four books , three edited volumes, and over seven journal articles. His works have been translated into seven languages. He has been asked to give keynote addresses and seminars at over fifty professional conferences and has taught in over thirty states and fifteen countries around the world.

As Americas foremost sexpert, Dr. Edgette is the first doctor of clinical psychology to affirm that kink, fetish, BDSM, Dom/sub, and swinging can be healthy for couples, and even enhance intimacy in relationships.

As a LGBTQ++ friendly and sex-positive feminist, he is prominently listed in the directory Kink Aware Professionals which is hosted by The National Coalition for Sexual Freedom.

Dr. J . H. Edgette is available to practitioners via zoom or Facetime for individual consultation and/or advice regarding clients with sexuality or other issues. He is also available for sessions with individual s having issues with sexuality or a variety of other problems.

For more information call, text, email, or Facetime him at 917-806-1850 or at john@edgettetherapy.com

A request to the reader:

I am a sexologist, a psychologist, and a changeologist. I very closely observe people in all sorts of sexual situations. No one should assume that just because I know a lot about a certain sexual predilection that I engage in it . On the other hand, dont ever assume I dont . So, too, for the ones I love and have loved.

Dedication

To the Catholic Church for creating strict, harsh, and guilt-inducing taboos. You have made sex so fucking good!

PART ONE:
FOREPLAY

Chapter 1: So You Want
To Get Your Kink On?

G et Your Kink On is the first book by either a psychologist or physician to explicitly advocate common but previously secretive and clandestine erotic activities such as BDSM, swinging, kink, and Dom/sub play as not only healthy and fun, but also as contributing to the closeness of the couple. This is also the first book to utilize the power of Imaginative Relaxation (IR) to enhance and expand erotic sexuality.

Since this book provides the key of Imaginative Relaxation to unlock a persons most erotic, yet self-inhibited, repressed, or undiscovered kinky desires, such that they are then set free to roam the conscious mind. Originally residing in the unconscious mind, these dirty desires await hedonic opportunities to see the light of day. Imaginative Relaxation is the best tool for accessing the unconscious and then mining these untapped dirty diamonds of lust.

By expressly normalizing consensual kink Mating gives permission for individuals to let these impure impulses be discovered and then see the light of day (or night). Practical and prescriptive, this book will take the reader from envying the men and women in Sex & the City and Fifty Shades to actually sensibly implementing, in a step-by-step way, these desires with consenting adults.

While liberating, this book does not advocate a sexual free-for-all for readers but instead respects individual differences and desired limitations and constraints. Also, activities need to be safe, sane, and consensual.

Other psychologists and sex therapists render themselves irrelevantly vanilla in recommending the hokey ideas of the occasional (yes, they will insist it be occasional or else they will label you pathological) blindfold, French maids outfit, or having sex on the kitchen table. I unabashedly use my full authority as a psychologist to endorse, on a case-by-case basis, the full exploration of ones most erotic desires.

In summary, I write this book because, while in private lives and public media a fascination and interest in kink abounds, most people dont know how to get in touch with their most erotic self or feel too guilty or inhibited to develop these secret growing predilections. Mating contains the key to helping the reader discover and then get comfortable with that which they want to do. Then it guides the actualizing and enacting of the preferred play way. So read on and then get your kink on!

Chapter 2: Lust and The Family

S ex, one of the most exciting things in the world, can become damn boring or even irrelevant over time. Why should this be? We start our relationships with frothy erotic fun. We experiment. We do things weve never done before. Our partners different experiences lead us to try things that they have done but we have not. All in all these are lusty days, and couples typically cannot wait to get their hands on each other.

So why should this come to an end? I have identified five formidable factors that almost inevitably lead to much less sex, less exciting sex, and overall boredom in the bedroom. These five fuck-less factors include, but are not necessarily limited to, habituation, familiarity, routine, babies and young children, and work demands. Any one of these can put a damper on ones sex life. Yet they usually happen in some combination. If we were unfortunate enough to have all five factors happen at once, what we would have would be coming home to a partner we do not really see because we see them all the time, the very same partner we are always with, an unvarying routine of undressing your partner in the same way, kissing for the same length of time, and then a predictable sequence of breast touching, genital stimulation, perhaps some sucking, followed by the usual length of what has now become intercourse instead of fucking. Top that off with the baby crying or a young child knocking at the bedroom door and an overdue and important work project, and what you have is an utterly boring or even a nonexistent sex life.