Mufti Muhammad Ibn Adam al-Kawthari - Islamic Guide to Sexual Relations

Islamic Guide To
Sexual Relations

Muammad ibn Adam al-Kawthari

Copyright 1429/2008 Muhammad Ibn Adam al-Kawthari
Published by:
Turath Publishing;
79 Mitcham Road
Tooting
London SW17 9PD

By Muhammad ibn Adam Adam al-Kawthari
General Editor Yahya Batha
Language Editor and index Muhammad Ansa

British Library Cataloguing in Publication Data
al-Kawthari, Muhammad ibn Adam
Islamic Guide to Sexual Relations
Title.1

ISBN 978-0-9547380-8-2
eISBN: 978-1-906949-61-7

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in any retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or otherwise, without written permission of the copyright owner.

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CONTENTS

FOREWORD

IN THE NAME OF ALLAH, Most Compassionate, Most Merciful. All praise is for Allah Most High, Lord of the worlds. And may peace and blessings be upon His beloved Messenger Muammad, a Mercy to the worlds, and upon his entire family, his Companions and the righteous ones who follow in their footsteps until the Day of Judgment.

In answering questions from the public over the past five years or so, I have come across many individuals who desire to know the Islamic ruling on matters of sexual intimacy between spouses. Aided by the relative anonymity of email as a medium of communication, questioners have opened up and began to pose frank questions courageously without being shy and without the fear of being humiliated.

The prevalence and variety of these questions led me to keep records of them, and it quickly became evident that many Muslims are unaware of the Islamic laws and etiquettes pertaining to sexual relations. Many desire to live their conjugal lives in harmony with Islamic teachings and have a genuine inclination to learn, but are prevented by the embarrassment of asking a scholar directly. I realised that there is real need for a comprehensive work on the subject if Muslims are to live their lives in conformity with the teachings of the Qurn and Sunna. Owing to this great need, and the significance of the issue for married couples, I began preparing a detailed and comprehensive work often referring to the notes taken of the questions posed to me the result of which is in your hands, Al-amdulillh.

This book approaches the issue of sexual relations head on to apprise married couples of the teachings of Allah Most High and His beloved Messenger on this subject, allowing them to enjoy their union while receiving divine reward in doing so. What are the correct intentions behind sexual relations? What are couples allowed to do and what must they avoid? How does one prepare for sexual relations? What are the rules and etiquettes of foreplay, sex itself and the moments after sex? What is the ideal way of spending the first night of marriage? These are just a few of the questions answered in this book. In addition, many modern issues such as bondage, cross-dressing, using sex aids, watching pornography, oral sex and phone sex will be discussed exhaustively in light of the teachings of the Qurn, Sunna, reference works from the four Sunni Schools of Islamic law, and other works of classical and contemporary scholars.

It begins with an introduction outlining the importance of the subject at hand and my approach to it. Thereafter, the book is divided into various chapters that take an aspect of sexual behaviour and explore it in some depth. To further the benefit of the book, references for all the quotes have been provided, citing volume, page or adth numbers. Similarly, notes explaining key terms and concepts have been included wherever necessary. The book ends with a conclusion, a detailed bibliography and an index of terminologies used and personalities quoted.

I thank Allah Most High for giving me the ability and strength to prepare this work. I am grateful to my parents, teachers, family and friends, all of whom, although they had no hand in any of the actual stages of producing this work, without their love, support and prayers for me, I am doubtful whether I would be able to compile this work. May Allah reward them accordingly, Ameen.

I am grateful to Shaykh Muft Zubair Bayat (may Allah preserve him) of Durban, South Africa, who, despite his extremely busy schedule, spared time to review the entire manuscript, and provided important corrections and suggestions. May Allah reward him, give him Baraka in his time, and bless him in this world and the next. I am also indebted to brother Yahya at Turath Publications, whose constant encouragement and resolve kept me on my toes. May Allah accept his efforts in his desire and pursuit to produce high quality Islamic works, Ameen.

I also extend my appreciation to anyone else who may have helped me in any way. The absence of their names here in no way undermines their contribution. Their reward is with Allah, and His reward surpasses any gratitude that I may offer: Indeed, what is with Allah is better for you, if only you were to know. (Qurn 16:95)

I have tried my utmost best to clarify and systematically explain matters concerning the sexual relationship of a husband and wife. If I have done some good, it is from Allah Most High, and if I have erred, then it is from me and the whisperings of Satan. I pray, and I ask the readers to pray, that Allah forgive me and overlook my shortcomings, and make this work purely for His sake, Ameen.

And the last of our prayers is, Praise be to Allah, Lord of the Worlds.

Muammad ibn Adam al-Kawthar
Darul Iftaa, Leicester, UK
January 14, 2008 CE / Muharram 7, 1429 AH

PREFACE BY MUFT ZUBAIR BAYAT

I congratulate the author, Muft Muammad ibn dam (afiahullh), for this excellent work on a rather sensitive but much required subject. The author, a young, dynamic and promising Islamic scholar, has put tremendous effort into conducting meticulous research in preparation of this book, which is well annotated with references and footnotes.

Some years ago, having noticed a need for good, authentic material on the subject in the English language, I penned a consise work titled, Etiquettes of sexual relations, which has gone through dozens of prints to date, Al-amdulillh.

Now, Muft Muammad has in a very lucid and clear manner, prepared a detailed work on the subject. It covers many contemporary issues, including current sexual practices, and the Islamic rulings on them. I have had the opportunity to review this work, and to offer suggestions, which the author graciously accepted.