Christo Scheepers - Between the Covers: Sexual freedom through the bond of marriage

Dr Christo Scheepers &
Dr Dainty Shaw

BETWEEN THE COVERS

Published in 2012 by Struik Christian Books

An imprint of Struik Christian Media

A division of New Holland Publishing (South Africa) (Pty) Ltd

(New Holland Publishing is a member of Avusa Ltd.)

Wembley Square, First Floor

Solan Street, Gardens

Cape Town, 8001

Reg. No. 1971/009721/07

Text Christo Scheepers and Dainty Shaw 2012

Unless otherwise indicated, Scripture quotations are from The Amplified Bible (AMP) 1987, Zondervan Publishing House; The Holy Bible, New International Version (NIV) 1984, International Bible Society; The Holy Bible, New King James Version (NKJV) 1982, Thomas Nelson, Inc.

Disclaimer

This book is designed to provide condensed information. It is not intended to reprint all the information that is otherwise available, but instead to complement, amplify and supplement other texts. You are urged to read all the available material, learn as much as possible and tailor the information to your individual needs. Every effort has been made to make this book as complete and as accurate as possible. However, there may be mistakes, both typographical and in content. Therefore, this text should be used only as a general guide and not as the ultimate source of information. The purpose of this book is to educate. The authors and publisher shall have neither liability nor responsibility to any person or entity with respect to any loss or damage caused, or alleged to have been caused, directly or indirectly, by the information contained in this book.

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system or transmitted, in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without the written permission of the copyright owners.

Project management by Elzanne Loest

Edited by Glynne Newlands

Cover design and DTP by Sonja Louw

Illustrations by Astrid Castle

Cover image from Shutterstock

ISBN 978-1-4153-1304-6 (Print)

ISBN 978-1-4153-2056-3 (ePub)

ISBN 978-1-4153-2054-9 (PDF)

www.struikchristianmedia.co.za

D EDICATED TO :

All married couples

Thank you to my dear husband, Joris, and my beautiful daughters, Vicky and Denise, for your support.

I would like to thank my dear friend Christo for inviting me to write this book with him. He is a professional mentor, being patient, persistent, knowledgeable and very kind, even with the challenge of writing together over a great distance, different working hours and communication hurdles. Thank you and bless you, Christo.

Thank you to everyone who has ever believed in my capabilities and who enjoys it when I reach my goals. I really enjoyed writing this book knowing that marriages will be blessed. Thank you and bless you.

All glory to the Kingdom.

Dainty

Thank you to my Lord and Saviour, Jesus Christ, for believing in me when no-one else had any faith left in me. You were always ready to lift me up again after I fell and You were always willing to give me a second chance. Praise You, God of the second chance.

Christo

Thank you to Mr. David Shaw for proofreading this manuscript and for your valuable feedback.

Dainty & Christo

WARNING very sexy book! Proceed with caution!

Between the Covers is a no-nonsense, practical book, encouraging sexual experimentation within the safety of marriage in a godly way. Both authors are frank about their own experiences, displaying a vulnerability that I hope will transfer to you, the reader, as you explore sexual issues with your spouse.

As a therapist for more than 25 years, I see many clients struggling with sexual issues. Some have embraced various addictive or perverted sexual practices in a desperate attempt to come to terms with their sexuality. Others, terrified of being inadequate and/or ignorant in the sexual arena, have withdrawn or chosen to tolerate sex. Yet God wants us to enjoy and celebrate sex. Wouldnt it be wonderful if in a premarriage counselling setting the counsellor or pastor handed over this book and said, Read Between the Covers and then we can talk!?

This book explains the act of sex, sexuality, dysfunctions, the effects of personality and so much more, in a way that is easy to understand. But dont negate the simplicity of this book!

Many clients who are about to be married have come to me in tears and frightened because they have no idea how to pleasure their soon-to-be spouse in the bedroom. Instead of looking forward to their honeymoon as an exciting, wonderful, climactic (pardon the pun) time, they dread it and wrap it up in fear, anxiety, poor technique and everything that God did not intend sex to be.

I often hear questions like these below, and maybe you have wondered about the answers:

Can we only use the missionary position or will it be acceptable to try something else? (Will God approve? Is it perverted to try something else?)

How do I give my husband oral sex?

Do I have to?!

Is it hygienic to even put your mouth there? (trying to find reasons to avoid having oral sex)

Were two consenting adults; why cant we whip each other and get into some sadism and masochism? Surely all we need is to be consenting? Its not like one is forcing themselves on the other!

What do I actually do in bed?

What about sex toys? Does God allow that?

What turns my wife/husband on? I have no idea.

Between the Covers answers these questions - and more.

What I like about Between the Covers is that it doesnt seek to crack a peanut with an atom bomb. The instructions are simple, yet eloquent. The subject matter is complex, yet easy to understand.

In the church we find well-intentioned parents telling their children Dont have sex. Its wrong! Now we know that this is a valid statement from parents wanting to protect their children from soul ties, but the confusion arises when these same children grow up and are at the threshold of marriage. These parents now tell their young adults, Have sex. Sex is good. It is the glue in your marriage. No wonder there is so much confusion and angst around sex in the church today!

Bishop Frank Retief likes to say, You can be sincere; but you can be sincerely wrong. And this is certainly a case for being sincerely wrong.