Abby Medcalf PhD - Be Happily Married: Even If Your Partner Wont Do a Thing

B e H appily

M arried

Even If Your Partner
Wont Do a Thing

A bby M edcalf, P h. D .

Copyright 2019 Abby Medcalf Thriving, LLC

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the publisher, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in reviews and certain other noncommercial uses permitted by copyright law.

www.abbymedcalf.com

For orders or inquiries, please use the form on the website.

This book will give you everything you need to create a happy, connected and fulfilled relationship, even if your partner wont do a thing. But, for those of you looking for even more, you can download my free Be Happily Married Tool Kit at www.abbymedcalf.com/bonustoolkit .

Abby was the 7th couples therapist we tried. I wish she had been our first. We wouldnt have wasted all that money and time on the other six. We read her book, followed the clear tips she outlines and our relationship was completely transformed. Eric G.

Thank you for this book Abby. Were so grateful to you. Its not just our marriage you saved. But our family. When I look into my childrens eyes, I thank you. Elisa M.

I was never able to stick with things before. Then I read Abbys book. Now Ive got new ways of acting and being in my relationship and Ive changed my marriage for good. Andrea J.

Finally! A book that makes sense! You really can make changes without rehashing your whole relationship or working on it for hours a week! Why doesnt everyone do it this way? Janice O.

This book is like marriage cliff notes! Tess B.

I didnt believe that I really could change my relationship because my husband refused to do anything. After reading Abbys book and using her simple tips, my relationship feels more connected and happy. Im a believer! Saanvi G.

Ive read every book out there but this is the one that worked. Id lost hope and didnt think Id ever really have a happy marriage. My husband and I were actually laughing together the other day that hasnt happened in years...I wish Id read this book years ago. Teresa T

Read the book, follow the clear steps, and theres no way you wont see positive changes within a few short weeks!
Jonathan B

Dedication

This book is dedicated to all the clients Ive served. I never couldve written this book without you. Your honesty, openness, courage and willingness to keep trying helped me figure out what truly works to create happy, connected and fulfilled relationships, even if your partner wont do a thing.

Table of Contents

Acknowledgments

I m so grateful for all the support Ive received personally and professionally so I could write this book. On a personal note, Id like to thank my incredible man, Gary. Your unwavering support and faith in me means so much. I simply couldnt ask for a better partner to go through life with. Id also like to thank my awesome children, Max and Macartney, for being so understanding and loving as I took time away from you to work on this book. Finally, a shout out to my league of besties who support me in every imaginable way: Rhonda Davis, Stephanie Baer-Spoden, Suzette DeWinter, and Rochelle Lenahan.

Professionally, Id like to acknowledge my fabulous coach, Jadah Sellner; my colleague in crime, Tess Brigham; my spot-on publisher, Azul Terronez; my inspiring consulting group, Scott, Tim, Andy, Dave and Stephanie; and my awesome Online Empire Manager, Brigid Ward.

Introduction

Welcome to my worldIm so happy youre here!

The book youre reading is the culmination of over 25 years of working with individuals and couples who wanted to create lasting changes in their relationships.

My goal is, above all, to provide practical, usable tools that WORKnot unproven ideas or pie-in-the-sky theories that sound good but do little to help you in your day-to-day life. I use my hands-on experience and my background in both psychology and business (and my humor) to create tips and tools that work to transform any relationship into a connected communication machine, even if your partner wont do a thing.

Each of the chapters in this book is another key to your success. I know youre probably in a rush to get started, but Im going to ask you to make sure you read each chapter thoroughly and take the time to figure out how youre going to incorporate each chapters Action Tips into your daily life.

As you read, youll see that this book is written from the point of view of married, heterosexual couples, since thats about 70 percent of my practice. However , this information applies liberally to anyone attempting a long-term partnership, including those who arent married, the polyamorous and gay or lesbian couples. So, if youre trying to be in a romantic relationship, no matter who you are, this book can help.

At the end of the day, theres really nothing more important than your relationship with your significant other. Think about it: you can have a great day at work, but if your home is filled with tension and hostility, your life will suck. However, even if you have a crappy day at work or out in the world, if you come home and it feels peaceful and loving, your life will feel satisfying and whole. Knowing this, how can you NOT make your relationship your priority?

Ready to create an amazing relationship? Its time to dive in!

Looking forward to hearing all about your success,

Abby

Chapter One
This is the Last Relationship Book Youll Ever Have
to Read

I f youre reading this, its likely not the first thing youve tried to improve your relationship. Maybe youve been to couples counseling, attended a workshop, read blog posts, taken notes from other books and looked at every video with the hashtag #HappyMarriage you could find.

Youve done these things, you made some changes, but soon found yourself backsliding into old behavior and repeating negative patterns. Youre thinking things like

• I cant make my relationship better because my partner refuses to make any changes.
• Why cant we ever make changes that stick?!
• This is going to take too long. Weve been this way for years, and I dont have the energy to work on this for the next decade!
• I already have so much on my plate; I cant imagine fitting in one more thing!

All of this thinking is wrong. (Yeah, I said it.) The reason youve been struggling is due to three crucial factors that Im going to explain to you right now. Once you understand these components, youll see why this book is completely different than any other relationship book and why it can be the last relationship book youll ever have to read! Youre going to learn how to easily create the happy and connected relationship youve been craving (and it wont take a ton of your time).

Reason #1
You Havent Been Successful Before:

Y our first problem is that youve been basing your life on the idea that there are 24 hours in a day. You look at each day, see all the things you need to get done, and divide all this by the hours youve got. Work, taking care of kids, grocery shopping, volunteering for your kids bake sale at school, commuting, going to the gym and cleaning up your house (and yourself) all get fit into a schedule for the day. You likely end each day feeling exhausted, overwhelmed, and with half the things on your to-do list left undone . (No, I dont have hidden cameras in your house.)

With thinking like this, its no wonder you have no energy for sex, self-care or all the amazing ideas outlined in great books like this! The secret to ending this hopeless cycle is to stop thinking of your day based on 24 hours .

Instead, I want you to think of your day as being comprised of Apps. Im about to rock your world with a whole new way of looking at it, so give me a minute to explain.