Tim Ray - 101 Relationship Myths: How to Stop Them from Sabotaging Your Happiness

Starbrow: A Spiritual Adventure

Starwarrior: A Spiritual Thriller

The Awakening Human Being: A Guide to the Power of Mind

(by Barbara Berger with Tim Ray)

Tim Ray 2010

The right of Tim Ray to be identified as the author of this work has been asserted by him in accordance with the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1998.

Published in 2012 by Findhorn Press, Scotland

ISBN 978-1-84409-584-1

All rights reserved.

The contents of this book may not be reproduced in any form, except for short extracts for quotation or review, without the written permission of the publisher.

A CIP record for this title is available from the British Library.

Edited by Barbara Berger

Front cover design, including photograph by Richard Crookes

Back cover photograph by Sren Solkr Starbird

Interior design by Damian Keenan

Printed and bound in the EU

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Published by

Findhorn Press

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Heartfelt Thanks To

Barbara You have enriched my life.

Byron Katie For The Work.

Jens, Signe, Henrik and my many friends on levlykkeligt.dk For stimulating debate on relationship myths.

My readers, and everyone who has been to my lectures, workshops and private sessions thanks for everything youve taught me.

Pernille All I really want to do is, baby, be friends with you.

And last, but not least: My amazing ex-girlfriends Im so grateful.

O nce upon a time many thousands of years ago, the Devil himself was sitting in his boiling hot corporate headquarters in Hell, looking at his mission statement, which was hanging on the wall in big flaming red letters at the other end of his office. It read:

To make as many people as possible as unhappy as possible for as long as possible.

The Devil was actually a bit depressed because he felt that it really wasnt going so well for the Devil & Co.s mission at the moment. Despite his persistent efforts, people all around the world were generally very happy and satisfied. People were just loafing around loving themselves and each other and feeling really quite good about everything.

So the Devil knew he had to do something drastic if he was going to avoid being transferred, degraded or worse fired. He would have to come up with something that would really kick ass and make people feel dreadfully unhappy and desperate.

And that was when he got the most brilliant idea! An idea that would without a shadow of a doubt really make his mission and vision of making as many people as possible as unhappy as possible for as long as possible a reality. And the idea was

RELATIONSHIPS!

Yes! Of course, that was it! The Devil could already see it. Relationships the direct route to Hell! One big lie or a pack of lies that were so huge and convincing that they would make people desperately unhappy right from childhood

The Devil started frantically writing his plan down:

The Devils Lie No. 1 about Relationships:
The love that I seek is outside me.

Like whoa! This is brilliant, just brilliant, thought the Devil, as he hopped up and down enthusiastically on his flaming red throne. If I can just get enough people to believe that the love they seek is outside themselvesit will be truly awesome. So awesome that the Devil & Co. will probably end up being listed on the New York Stock Exchange!

Brilliant. Now that the basic concept was in place, it was time to add a little more painhee, hee, hee.

The Devils Lie No. 2 about Relationships:
The love that I seek is dependent on another person.

Like whoa again! This is good, really, really good thought the Devil, surprised by his own ingenuity. Im really somethingYes, I really am. AmazingAnd heres another one!

The Devils Lie No. 3 about Relationships:
I can only experience the love that I seek with one special person.

Even more brilliant! Sometimes I just surprise myself. He could already see the Devil & Co.s worldwide advertising campaign supported by Internet banners in every language proclaiming things like The One and Only, Soul Mates, The Love of Your LifeBrilliant, brilliant. This is just brilliant. The Devil could already feel the confusion, the overwhelming longing, the terrible misery and loneliness that people would feel, all the way down to his fifteen big toes. Millions and millions of people all around the world who would actually believe that they could only experience the love they seek with one special person without ever quite knowing who this one special person was!

And if one was actually lucky enough to find this person, there was no guarantee that this person would return the love. No guarantee that he or she wasnt already in another relationship. Yes it was brilliant! Just brilliant!

If the Devil could get people to believe this, it would truly be the end of all that nauseating, touchy-feely lovey-dovey stuff that was flourishing on earth at the moment. It would be the end of all those happy people who just went around loving everything and everyoneAnd last but not least

The Devils Lie No. 4 about Relationships:
Its only true love if the relationship lasts forever.

Yes! Now thats good thats got to hurt! With this lie, the Devil could be sure that people would stay unhappy no matter what. If they werent in a relationship, theyd be unhappy because theyd believe that the love that they seek was outside themselves and dependent on another person. If they were in a relationship where the partners drifted apart, well this devilish lie (that its only true love if the relationship lasts forever) would keep them in the relationship no matter what they really felt. And the few who actually would be brave enough to separate would always look back at the relationship and feel it was one big failure.

Hmm.The Devil was aware that this last lie was rather far out and that it would be pretty difficult to get people to believe it. So he figured hed add a little extra lie to back this one up. He decided hed spread the word that it was God Himself the Top Dog who proclaimed this lie to be the Gods Honest Truth. The Devil would make sure that all religions in the world taught that a relationship was only genuine and real if the partners took a solemn oath that they would love each other and stay together forever no matter what!

Ha ha ha. Am I brilliant or what? The Devil just couldnt stop slapping his thighs with pure devilish joy.

Okay so far so good. Now it was time for action and not just a little action. No, no, no. The Devil knew that if he was going to sell such a colossal pack of lies to humanity, hed really have to roll out the most massive brainwashing campaign the world had ever seen. So he called in all his top executives and his sales and marketing people and his branding department and they all worked day and night developing a campaign that would make even the most incredible lies like racism, nationalism, sexism, ageism and materialism fade in comparison. The Devils campaign of lies would be a mega-giga-super-duper advertising campaign about The One and Only made up of a million trillion pop songs and music videos and TV series and movies and womens magazine articles and books and novels, backed by the fashion and cosmetic industries all broadcasting non-stop day and night the Devils pack of lies about relationships.