Shanae Hall - For Single Ladies Only: Everything You Need to Know to Date Smarter

For Single Ladies Only

Copyright 2013 by Shanae Hall

Crystal House Publishing
P.O. Box 1491
Suwanee GA 30024

No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, now known or hereafter invented, including electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, scanning, information storage and retrieval, or otherwise, except as permitted under Section 107 or 108 of the 1976 United States Copyright Act, without the prior written permission of the Publisher.

Printed and bound in the United States of America

Print ISBN: 978-0-9885896-0-5

FIRST EDITION

This book is dedicated to my moms friend Joyce and all the women of the world who need a quick refresher course on dating.

O ver the past few years Ive written an award nominated book entitled Why Do I Have to Think Like a Man? Along with relationship articles for newspapers and blogs. I have been featured on the front page of AOL, and as a special guest on CNN, HLN, TruTv, and many other national networks to discuss the cheating epidemic that is plaguing our country, as well as relationships in general. While those appearances served their purpose, I recently figured out that we all have been missing a step! The media loves to talk about who is getting married and divorced, but they forget to talk about the way women date, and the big no-nos that we commit every day when looking for Mr. Right.

I decided to write this book because there are so many beautiful, smart women in the world playing in this dating game and losing badly. I always say if your story stays the same time after time, year after year, then the problem and answer lies within you. In this case the problem is probably us (women). I may come across as harsh or direct in my conclusions, but I wanted to make this a Handbook for women who are looking for answers not a novel, which means that it must be as short and to the point as possible, so we dont have time to beat around the bush. I wanted this book to be something that you can easily refer to and keep handy in your purse or car. I truly hope this little book helps you on your dating journey.

Lets get right into my
30 Dating Tips.

There are three possible parts to a date, of which at least two must be offered: entertainment, food, and affection. It is customary to begin a series of dates with a great deal of entertainment, a moderate amount of food, and the merest suggestion of affection. As the amount of affection increases, the entertainment can be reduced proportionately. When the affection is the entertainment, we no longer call it dating. Under no circumstances can the food be omitted.
~MissManners Guide to Excruciatingly Correct Behavior

T his is a very important chapter, so you may want to take notes. Let me start off by giving you something to think about. According to the U.S. Census in 2010, there were 17,428,000 women eighteen and older living alone. Off the top, I will say this statistic for unmarried women makes me think of an old saying, Why buy the cow if you can get the milk for free. The 2013 version would be, Why marry the woman if you can get the cookie for free? Lets talk about what men had to go through in the past to get our attention.

From the time men were young boys, all the way through adulthood, men have had to try to figure out womeneverything from how to get girls to accept their invitations to the school dance, to getting women to engage in conversation at a nightclub and eventually to say yes to sex. Ladies, whether we consider it or not, men have had a lot to worry about in the past when it came to dating. The problem is that, today, we have dropped the bar so low that anyone can qualify to gain our attention. McDonalds has tougher requirements in selecting a restaurant staff than most women do today in selecting a man.

Here is the cold hard truth; overall, women have surpassed men in terms of completing secondary and post-secondary education, with the gender gap almost completely reversed from 1960, when according to the National Bureau of Economic Research there were 1.6 males for every female graduating from a U.S. four-year college. In 2016/2017, women are projected to earn 64.2 percent of Associates degrees, 59.9 percent of Bachelors degrees, 62.9 percent of Masters degrees, and 55.5 percent of Doctorates conferred. Black women are graduating from high school and college at a much greater rate than their male counterparts, according to the National Center for Education Statistics. We continue to pull away in education and in our economic class. What these statistics say is that there is a very good chance that the man who is trying to date you is probably undereducated and underpaid.

The purpose of this chapter is to help you see the dating game a little differently and to adjust your strategy accordingly.

The big difference between sex for money and sex for free is that sex for money usually costs less.
~Brendan Francis,Playboy, 1985

Primarily, dating smarter means to slow down. We have a tendency to rush to find Mr. Right so we can have sex, get married and start having babies, or simply because we dont like being alone. The problem with this plan is that we are setting ourselves up to lose. You know why? Because we are giving away the grand prize too easily, out of fear.

Follow where Im going with this for a minute. How many men would throw a party to watch the Super Bowl if they knew the game would be over in 20 minutes? How successful would American Idol be if the show announced the winner after the first round of the auditions? My seven-year-old son helped me put this idea into perspective. About a week ago I took him to the local game store to pick out a new DSi video game. He was so excited about his new game he couldnt wait to open it and to begin playing it. He was so happy, it made me feel happy. Once we were in the car he immediately opened the package and started to play his game. By the time we arrived at the house less then 15 minutes later, his joy began to collapse.

I asked him, Son, whats wrong?

He looked in my eyes and said, Mom, this game sucks.

Of course, I asked why, and he sadly replied, Cause its too easy. We need to take it back and get your money back. At that moment a light came on. Men arent built like us, they feed of off the challenge.

Let me try to illustrate this further. Most of us have said at some point, If only I could be a fly on the wall as the person of the opposite sex talks about us. Well, ladies, I had my opportunity quite a few times over the past two years, but one night in 2011 was the icing on the cake.

I needed to get away after a rough week at work and the stress of the day to day routine. I called up a few of my male friends who were going to Charlotte, NC for the CIAA championships and asked if could I join them. I told them I was working on book number two and wanted to be a fly on the wall for the weekend. For the sake of saving them from any embarrassment, well call my friends Russell and Steve. Let me give you some background information on my friends. Both of these men are fairly attractive. Both are very successful in their lines of work, and though neither is famous or flashy, they both have a likable confident swagger about them. Steve is forty-one and Russell is forty-nine. Both are very grown men and crazy-fun people to be around.