Daily Books - Modern Romance--by Aziz Ansari | Conversation Starters

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Aziz Ansaris

Modern Romance

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Copyright 2015 by dailyBooks. All Rights Reserved.

First Published in the United States of America 2015

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A ZIZ ANSARI IS A WELL-KNOWN ACTOR AND COMEDIAN; but his book, Modern Romance , is not a comedy. It is a serious book with extensive research and data compilation but with the signature wittiness of Ansari. It all started when Ansari met a girl called Tanya, with whom he clicked. He invited her out to a show by sending her a text. She saw the text and did not respond at all. Ansari spent a couple of days having a complete meltdown. At this point, he realized he was behaving in a manner that was unprecedented and would never have been imaginable in the previous decades. He set out to discover how romance has changed in modern times, especially with the advent of the internet and smartphones.

He partnered with sociologist Eric Klinenberg for a research project that included focus groups with many hundreds of people in eight cities, five countries, and three continents. They decided to focus on heterosexual and middle-class people because the scope of the research would otherwise be too wide. Most of the research and the book are concentrated on the USA, but there are anecdotes and statistics from other countries as well.

Ansari discusses the various ways in which technology has transformed the way we behave and how it has changed romance for us. Without smartphones and internet, we had to wait for the person to call or meet them face to face, but now we expect instant gratification. Another point raised is how people generally settled for what was good enough, but now we expect to find our soul mate. While earlier people settled for the first person they clicked with and got married sooner, today we are ready to wait until we find the perfect person who can give us all we need in our lives. For women, the changes are even more significant because many women often got married earlier just to get out of the control of their parents, and sometimes made horrible decisions based on this. Things have definitely improved on that front. In modern times, we have what is called the emerging adulthood, a time of transition during which both men and women try to navigate the world as adults before settling down to start families. There is also a far wider range of habitation structures today than ever before.

One of the most important things that Ansari urges on readers is to understand that the people on the other side of the phone are living, breathing, and complex people. They deserve a chance, and they definitely deserve to be treated as you would treat someone if you were talking face-to-face with them. Ultimately, he advises us to invest in people before dismissing them.

A ZIZ ANSARI IS AN AMERICAN ACTOR AND COMEDIAN, most well-known for his roles as Tom Haverford in the political comedy series, Parks & Recreation and as Dev Shah in Master of None . He is also famous as a stand-up comedian and has performed shows all over the U.S. His most recent comedy special, Live at Madison Square Garden , was a huge hit and discussed different social issues. Like many comedians, he is a social commentator and gently brings out the different facets of social issues in a light and witty manner. Ansari is also involved in charity work and has worked with Oxfam American to encourage people to donate. He also performed a charity show to help the victims of the Boston bombing.

Ansari is of South Indian origin and belongs to a Muslim family that immigrated from Tamil Nadu to South Carolina. Ansari himself identifies as American, atheist, and feminist. He was born in Columbia and then grew up in Bennettsville, where his family was the only non-white family in the town. He went to school in South Carolina and later went to New York University, where he majored in marketing.

Ansari began to perform stand-up comedy in New York while he was still in college. He worked on small shows and was featured by Rolling Stone as their choice for Hot Standup in 2005. He also won the Best Standup at HBOs Comedy Arts Festival in 2006. All this exposure and awards helped him further his career, and he landed a role in Parks & Recreation , which would make him a well-known face all over the country. He released his first and only book, Modern Romance , in June 2015. For this, he teamed up with leading sociologists to investigate the culture of dating in U.S. and around the world.

Today, Ansari is in a relationship with his pastry chef girlfriend Courtney McBroom and commutes from Los Angeles to New York on a regular basis.