Pam Spurr - Fabulous Foreplay: The Sex Doctors Guide to Teasing and Pleasing Your Lover

Fabulous
FOREPLAY

The Sex Doctors Guide to
Teasing and Pleasing Your Lover

DR. PAM SPURR

FABULOUS FOREPLAY. Copyright 2007 by Pam Spurr. All rights reserved. Printed in the United States of America. For information, address St. Martins Press, 175 Fifth Avenue, New York, N.Y. 10010.

www.stmartins.com

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Spurr, Pam.

Fabulous foreplay : the sex doctors guide to teasing and pleasing your lover / Pam Spurr.1st U.S. ed.
p. cm.

ISBN-13: 978-0-312-38616-0
ISBN-10: 0-312-38616-8
1. Sex instruction. 2. Foreplay. I. Title.

HQ31.S754 2008
613.9'6dc22

2008027236

First published in Great Britain by JR Books

First U.S. Edition: December 2008

10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1

Im extremely lucky in that I come across a wide variety of people in both my professional and personal lives. Human nature and behaviour never cease to amaze me. We can learn so much from the lives of others. Many thanks to all of those people whove spoken honestly and openly to me.

Id also like to acknowledge my gratitude to Jeremy Robson. A fantastic publisher and man to work with.

Finally Id like to acknowledge the patience of my wonderful children while Ive been writing this book.

Whether youre in a relationship, youre single, or have just met someone new, you need to know about seduction and foreplay. Both are essential to a pleasurable and fulfilling sexual relationship. It may come as a surprise that Im talking about seduction for people already in an established relationship. Believe me, this applies just as much to you as to singles and new lovers.

Much of what lies behind dissatisfaction in a couples sex life is due to the fact that theyve forgotten how to seduce each other. They are often guilty of skipping foreplay altogether instead going straight to the already established pleasure zones that once turned on their partner but which may no longer do so. I aim to revive the neglected art of seduction!

Starting from the first time you lay eyes on someone right through to 10, 20 or even more years down the road, the key to keeping an active sex life is never forgetting to treat your lover as someone worthy of seduction. And as someone who deserves foreplay. Easy things to forget once youve added a mortgage, bills, household chores, career moves, children, in-laws, etc, to what was once new lovers with a fabulous sex life and only each other to be concerned with.

Having clarified that Im going to treat it as if youre reading Fabulous Foreplay with fresh eyes regardless of whether youre single, have recently met someone or are in a partnership, I hope you will treat it this way too. When I introduce certain ideas and techniques such as my thoughts on seduction and concepts relating to being attracted to someone even if youve been with your partner a long time, itll help remind you why you fell for them in the first place. Thats incredibly important because at this point in time you may be looking at them with rather jaded eyes and thats not seductive or sexy. With that in mind, lets begin with the background to seduction.

In coming chapters Ill share with you a huge variety of techniques to tease and please your lover with and stimulate their six sexual senses. Im going to give you a unique way of looking at foreplay and seduction by showing you how each one of these wonderful senses including the sixth sexual sense that Ill introduce you to plays an important part in sexual enjoyment. But first lets take a look at the term I coined a number of years ago called Before-play. This is terribly important as it sets the whole scene, establishes the entire background, for how you feel about seducing someone. In my many roles of agony aunt, sex advisor, life coach and psychologist, I came to realise that people get hung up on having sex with little thought to the whole feeling, energy and ambience of their relationship specifically and life generally.

Whether youre aiming to seduce someone new or you want to have sex with your long-term partner, Before-play is important to your success and enjoyment. Here are a couple of examples to illustrate this.

Example One: Youve just met someone new and youre looking forward to the exciting date youve got planned tonight. Just as youre about to leave the office, your manager throws a file on your desk and says youve got to complete the work in it before you leave. As youve recently missed a few deadlines you feel you must do as the manager asks. This leaves you rushing late to the date without any time to freshen up or change your clothes. You arrive feeling stressed and overwhelmed with the pressure youve just been under. Do you think youre likely to make scintillating conversation? Are you going to flirt in a carefree manner? And will you be focused on this new persons life and interests? The answer to all three of those questions is a big fat No!

Example Two: You and your partner had a big argument in the morning before leaving for work about an unpaid credit card bill. Youre extremely angry with him or her for overlooking it and now the interest has to be paid on it. Youre both already strapped for cash and this makes you fume. You tear into each other instead of working together on such matters. That night your partner wants to make amends and slyly thinks a good way would be to have make-up sex and tries to seduce you. Are you in the mood for sex? Do you even want them to touch you? Again the answer is a big fat No!

That Before-play is important. That the way youre feeling and any aspect of your life can affect Before-play. These examples demonstrate the ways that very different things in your life can affect your sex life. Quite frankly, if youre stressed from work youre hardly going to make a good impression on a hot new date. Or if youre arguing over bills youre not going to look at your partner with lust. These are only two of thousands of potential examples I could give you to illustrate why people need to think about Before-play. And the fact that Before-play comes into action long before you seduce anyone or start engaging in foreplay.