Elizabeth Paulson - 98 Ways To Find A Great Guy

Museums are great because if you find a guy there, hes likely to be employed, decently dressed, and quite possibly a cultured gentleman. (Or looking to pick up chicks.) Be sure to wear high heels, so your prospects can hear you click-clacking down the marble halls. Its also handy to find a bench so you can cross and uncross your legs as you contemplate The Night Watch or anything else grand in scope. And never, ever get the audio commentaryyou dont want anything separating you from your future boyfriendeven if the insights on Monets parent and adolescent haystacks are fascinating. Then, start perusing the collection.

Medieval armor, Pompeii, and the Egyptian wing attract the men. If you find yourself in a museum without the equivalent of these, do what you can with actual paintings. Stick to modern artanything past the Impressionists and youre fine (though they do like van Gogh). Abstract Expressionism always delights, as does Pop Art. Dada is right up their alley, not surprisingly. Surrealism? Theyll go for seconds. And anything postmodern and vulgar will always attract our gentlemen friends. The Physical Impossibility of Death in the Mind of Someone Living ? Find it and then say some witty quote from Jaws to the banker-on-his-lunch-break-type standing next to you. Ta-da! Youve got yourself a date for Friday.

Pros: Its good for you!

Cons: Some of that stuff will give you nightmares.

Men love a good dare. Use this to your advantage. When a guy asks for your number, write it down and throw it in the trash. This, of course, presents a challenge to the man, and, since hes a man, he wont be able to resist digging out that piece of paper, calling you, and asking you out. Would he have called you if you hadnt done that little trick? I dont think so! When has anyone ever called you after youve said, Sure, heres my number! Let me type it into your phone for you! Ive also included my work phone, fax, parents number in Pennsylvania, and dog walker, just in case? Never.

So this is the approach a smart girl takes when shes out and someone slides up to her, makes about a minute and a halfs worth of conversation, and then asks for her number:

Why? you ask the unlucky gent.

Because I wanna take you out for a beverage sometime, he replies.

Uh-huh, right. Im sure if I give you my number, youll think about me all of tomorrow and then call me the day after, you say.

I will! Honestly! he protests.

Riiiiiight, you say.

Would I ask for your number if I didnt want to see you again? he asks.

Its usually the surest way to ensure it, you reply tartly. This goes on for quite a while, giving you ample time to assess the poor man who ran afoul of you.

If he seems like a jerk, he gets the number of your least favorite ex-boyfriend, assuming you remember it, or else he gets a number that youve just made up. If he seems like a nice guy who actually might be a keeper, apologize, put your hand on his arm, and say something like, Oh its so tough in the city. Im afraid I cant help being a little jaded. Most guys are such jerks, you know. And voil, youve explained your hideous behavior and complimented him all in one fell swoop. As he finishes entering your number in his phone, throw in one more, For all the good it will do you. Its not like youll use it! with a twinkling little laugh. Then turn on your fabulous little heels and leave him staring after your swishy hair, besotted and with more resolve to actually use your number.

Pros: Hes going to call you! He really will!

Cons: The story of your first meeting will forever feature you in the role of harpy.