Eckel - Its not you : 27 (wrong) reasons youre single

PRAISE FOR

ITS NOT YOU

Its Not You masquerades as self-help, but its really a manifesto, a radical declaration of truths that shouldnt be all that radical but somehow are nonetheless. Sara Eckel does what no one writing about singleness has yet had the guts to do. She points out that coupling up is often nothing more than a matter of luck and that conventional wisdom about love is no substitute for real wisdom about lifesomething she has in spades.

Meghan Daum, author of My Misspent Youth

Finally! Someone said it: Being single does not mean youre broken. Thank you, Sara Eckel, for speaking up and turning the tables on anyone who dared point their needling finger at poor old singletons negotiating the process of looking for love. Its Not You is a smart and sane respite from the incessant chatter of relationship self-help that places the single person in the middle of a perpetual makeover project. Eckel deftly argues why you dont need any of it, and shell make you think about dating in an entirely new light. Her book is fresh, relatable, funny, and empowering, and Im only one percent mad at her for not writing it sooner. Mostly, I just want to hug her, and so will you.

Rachel Machacek, author of The Science of Single

Debunking the myths and well-meaning advice lobbed onto single women today, Sara Eckels Its Not You is like soothing guidance from a best friend in book form. Fearless, funny, and wise, its a reminder to single women everywhere that the best antidote to the overwhelmingly negative dating feedback that prevails is self-compassion.

Ava Chin, Urban Forager columnist and author of Eating Wildly

Sara Eckel has composed an electrically charged response to a world still eager to tie a womans value to her marital status. Its Not You is a thorough and thoughtful debunking of the myths of blame routinely foisted on women who have not (yet or ever) found mates. Eckel is funny, compassionate, and righteously resistant to the lies women are told about how personal shortcomings have damned them to singlehood, while smartly standing up to assumptions that theres anything wrong with unmarried life to begin with.

Rebecca Traister, author of Big Girls Dont Cry

Its Not You is a funny, thoughtful, and long-overdue response to every well-intentioned tool who insists single women are single because theyre too something: picky, available, desperate, intimidating, nice, negative, attractive, or, I dont know, averse to clog dancing. Instead, she assures us were fine. The only problem? We simply havent met the guy of our dreams yet.

Diane Mapes, author of How to Date in a Post-Dating World

Sara Eckel counters prevailing myths about dating and marriage, and offers solace and very helpful advice to those who feel pained by prolonged singlehood. Above all, this book will resonate with readers because of the way she shares her own struggling, vulnerable heart.

Gabriel Cohen, author of Storms Cant Hurt the Sky

Part Buddhist teacher and part social critic, Sara Eckel tells single women what we older-to-marry folks wish we could go back to say to our own younger self-doubting unmarried selves.... This book is a refreshing study of women realizing the best potential of feminism: to realistically accept both the challenges, and the triumphs, of living life on ones own terms.

Paula Kamen, author of Her Way, All in My Head, and Finding Iris Chang

A PERIGEE BOOK

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Copyright 2014 by Sara Eckel

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Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Eckel, Sara.

Its not you : 27 (wrong) reasons youre single / Sara Eckel. First edition.

pages cm

ISBN 978-0-399-16287-9 (pbk.)

ISBN: 978-1-101-60643-8 (eBook)

1. Single people. 2. Single women. 3. Man-woman relationships.
4. Interpersonal relations. I. Title.

HQ800.E254 2014

302dc23 2013032620

First edition: January 2014

Text design by Laura K. Corless

Portions of this book appeared in a different form in the New York Times and Self magazine. For the subjects privacy, some names and identifying details have been changed.

While the author has made every effort to provide accurate telephone numbers, Internet addresses, and other contact information at the time of publication, neither the publisher nor the author assumes any responsibility for errors, or for changes that occur after publication.
Further, the publisher does not have any control over and does not assume any responsibility for author or third-party websites or their content.

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