Shannon Boodram - 23 July

C ourtney seemed stuckcaught between two thoughts, two versions of herself, but mostly between two colors.

Should I make the smiley face red or black? she asked with her marker hovering over a stack of notecards.

I glanced around her office, a place I knew she spent far too much time in, then replied, The next action card in the routine is the physical challenge, so why not make that one black? Then you can make the smiley face red.

The colors did not matter in the least, and we actually didnt even need to make cue cards, since Courtney had rehearsed the routine until she knew it by heart; but I invited her to use her marker collection because I knew it would calm her nerves. I suspected that she knew this too.

Courtney had gone on at least a dozen dates since we began working together months ago, but this meetup with Derek was special. Derek was her ideal playmate to a T: a conscious thinker, a health nut and a hot firefighter who looked like his nickname was Mr. October. She had been crushing on him for awhile but had only mustered the courage and skill set to ask him out a few days ago. The Derek-type was exactly what wed been working toward, and the best part of all was that he wasnt the only high-interest playmate Courtney had lined up. Another man named River, who shed described as a potential soul mate, was flying in from Dallas in a couple of weeks to see her as well.

Dont stress out too much about getting this date in the can. Derek is the one who should be scared of you with ya dangerously seductive self!

Courtney exhaled into a half smile and pressed the cap on her marker as if to say, Amen. She handed me the cue cards, then grabbed her purse. Okay, we should probably head out. Hell be there soon.

I stood in agreement and looked her over one more time. Do you need to wear a bra?

We left her office in separate cars and by the time I got to the restaurant, Courtney (and her freed nipples) were already outside on her faux good-news phone call, which was the first technique of the routine. After working with me to fix her struggling love life, Courtney was inspired to begin her own workshop for women, who, like her, had been bullied in high school. The caller was a web designer who had agreed to take on her new passion project, pro bono. All of this was true but of course, it didnt just happen... but it did happen to be something we could use to her advantage because positive first impressions are well worth their weight in gold.

Courtney pointed through the window at a man sitting with his back to us. I nodded then flashed three cards at her for a final reminder: a red smile (make sure this is the first thing he sees), blue connected arrows (touch consensually ASAP) and a newspaper (share good news). I slid into the table behind Derek and a beat later Courtney walked in with a tsunami of positive vibes. She finished up her call, loudly, then approached Derek, who had now gotten to his feet.

Its so good that were finally doing this, she said as she hugged him tightly. I just got some awesome news that I have to share! Maybe youre my new good-luck charm.

I did a fist pump under my table and waved the fourth cue card with the drawing of a keg, a symbol to remind her to be the life of the party. A few minutes later the waiter sauntered over to their table and Courtney cradled her chin in her hands then struck up some small talk.

The waiter took the bait, shifted his body toward her and stood taller. Youve been here before, right? We have some new things on the menu, do you want some recommendations?

In response to this, Courtney switched her attention back to Derek. What do you think I should get? She appraised him and smiled with approval. I trust you know what youre doing.

When the waiter left, Courtney proceeded to tell Derek about the phone call. He asked a series of rapid-fire follow-ups then surprisingly revealed he too had been severely picked on growing up. They shared a moment, exchanging their high school pitfalls and triumphs that Im sure would have gone on longer if I werent there. I held up the fifth card, a squiggly face, and waited for Courtney to find something to disagree with him about. After all, fire isnt created with sunlight alone; to create sparks you must also have friction.

Derek started talking about football and how it helped him gain the confidence he lacked in high school. With this Courtney sat up straighter to investigate. Youre a football guy, eh? Whos your team?

Oh, youre a football gal? said Derek excitedly. He leaned so far over the table, youd truly think he was holding that damn thing up. Im a Rams fan.

Up to that point, Courtney had mirrored his body position, plus she had been giving him the full flirtatious treatment: her speech was slow, her body was in a perfect S formation and she had been picturing him naked to keep her pupils dilated. But the Rams comment changed everything. She sat back to put distance between them, then closed her body by crossing her arms and pointing her feet toward the door. The Rams, seriously? Just when I thought we could be friends.

For the next few minutes, Courtney scolded him about his bad taste in football. He defended himself and his team, but she was unrelentingly displeased with him. I held the red-smiley-face card up, indicating it was time to turn the disagreement into an opportunity to tease and create their first inside joke. I couldnt hear what she said but I noticed her uncross her arms and poke out that hip again. Youre welcome, Derek, I thought.

The waiter stopped by, took my order and then stared down at my bright yellow cards. In moments like this I was so glad to live in L.A., a place where too many weird things happen for anyone to really give a damn. He walked away and I flashed the seventh card, which was a picture of a dumbbell that signified it was time to get physical. Courtney glanced down at her Fitbit then back up at Derek.

Shoot, she murmured.

What?

Its stupid, but me and my friends are doing this twenty-one-day physical challenge thats kind of turned into a competition. This is awkward, but I have to squat now. Will you do it with me?

Here? No, he said flatly.

Like the professional that she was, she didnt back down. Please, just thirty seconds so I dont look like a dork in here alone? We dont even have to get up, we can just hover over our seat.

He shook his head, but this time with a smile that said, You win. The two of them scooted back their chairs, then squatted. This technique may sound crazy but lets analyze the genius behind it.

1. Exercise increases the heart rate, which is also the same physiological response you get when you like someone new.
2. Misbehaving in a civilized place brings you back to the joys of childhood.
3. Doing something physically exerting while youre inches away from someone you have chemistry with is the closest youre gonna get to sex in public without drawing stares or sirens.

Courtney wavered on her heels then placed her hand on Dereks for balance as they kept their eyes locked on one another. Okay, done! she declared.

They both collapsed back and laughed until their breathing returned to normal.

What other alerts do you have on there? quizzed Derek.

Once again, Courtney took this as an opportunity to cross the physical barrier. Most women are afraid to introduce touch on their first few dates, which is precisely why I taught Courtney not to be. Everything she had done, from the moment she asked