Shannon Kolakowski - When Depression Hurts Your Relationship: How to Regain Intimacy and Reconnect with Your Partner When Youre Depressed

Shannon Kolakowski, PsyD, is a licensed psychologist in private practice. She blogs for Huffington Post and has been featured in magazines such as Redbook, ParentMap, and Mens Health Magazine, as well as online at Shape.com and eHarmony. Shes made television appearances on New Day Northwest and ABC News. Her expertise lies in combining the latest research with her personal insight, experience, and passion for the practice of psychology. She lives with her husband in Seattle, WA. Visit her online at www.drshannonk.com.

Foreword writer Craig Malkin, PhD, is a clinical psychologist, author, and instructor of psychology at Harvard Medical School. His articles and insights have frequently been featured in publications like Psychology Today, Match.coms Happen Magazine, and Womens Health. Hes made numerous television and radio appearances, including appearances on National Public Radio and Fox News.

When Depression Hurts Your Relationship is an outstanding book, packed with easy-to-read information and strategies that will help couples navigate the stormy waters of depression. Shannon Kolakowski comprehensively tackles how depression negatively roots itself in the bonds of a partnership and offers solutions that are gentle, frank, and straightforward. One of the most wonderful things about Kolakowskis writing is that she delicately weaves science and research in such a way that it doesnt overwhelm the reader. Instead, When Depression Hurts Your Relationship empowers, informs, and inspires with hope and encouragement.

Deborah Serani, PsyD, psychologist and award-winning author of Living with Depression

Kolakowski has written a wonderfully practical book to help people dealing with depression and struggling to preserve their relationships. She integrates her psychology expertise in very simple and easy-to-follow ways. From attachment to coping styles, Kolakowski addresses the psychological aspects of depression that contribute to hurting a relationship, and offers practical and easy exercises to break away from harmful patterns. The book is a great resourcenot only for people dealing with depression in their relationship, but also for any couple wanting to improve their communication style, add mindfulness in the relationship, and gain sexual intimacy. As a professor and psychologist working with couples, I intend to recommend this book to my psychology students and couples as an easy read and addendum to clinical work.

Dinelia Rosa, PhD, president-elect of the New York State Psychological Association, director of the Dean Hope Center for Educational and Psychological Services at Columbia University, and adjunct associate professor at the clinical psychology program at Teachers College, Columbia University

Depression is one of the greatest obstacles in relating to others or yourself. When Depression Hurts Your Relationship is a wonderful remedy for making sure that this doesnt happen to you or your relationship. It is the right book at the right time, and will help millions of people prevent depression from getting in the way of living happily ever after.

Mark Goulston, MD, author of Just Listen: Discover the Secret to Getting Through to Absolutely Anyone

If you are depressed, new hope and a new life await, thanks to the book When Depression Hurts Your Relationship. In it, youll find a clear, compassionate, and comprehensive guide, filled with hands-on activities and exercises to steer you through the morass of depression and stagnation thats separating you from your partner. Thanks to Kolakowskis invaluable resource, you can rebuild your connection with your partner to be stronger than ever, and find comfort in each others arms once again.

Sheri Meyers, PsyD, licensed marriage and family therapist and author of Chatting or Cheating: How to Detect Infidelity, Rebuild Love and Affair-Proof Your Relationship

In this new book, Shannon Kolakowski shows a deep and compassionate understanding of the ways in which depression shows up in our most cherished relationships. Based on research and Kolakowskis own clinical experience, this book is accessible to real people with real relationship goals. Packed with reflective exercises and concrete tools, When Depression Hurts Your Relationship will empower you (and your partner) to create a healthy and loving bond.

Heidi Reeder, PhD, author of Commit to Win and associate professor of communication at Boise State University, ID

When Depression Hurts Your Relationship provides readers with scientifically-grounded yet accessible knowledge that they can apply to their lives. Its a valuable contribution to the genre of science-help, and I have no doubt that it will help readers improve their relationships and live more fulfilling lives.

David DiSalvo, author of Brain Changer: How Harnessing Your Brains Power to Adapt Can Change Your Life

To Rob, my husband, whose love inspires me

Publishers Note

This publication is designed to provide accurate and authoritative information in regard to the subject matter covered. It is sold with the understanding that the publisher is not engaged in rendering psychological, financial, legal, or other professional services. If expert assistance or counseling is needed, the services of a competent professional should be sought.

Distributed in Canada by Raincoast Books

Copyright 2014 by Shannon Kolakowski

New Harbinger Publications, Inc.

5674 Shattuck Avenue

Oakland, CA 94609

www.newharbinger.com

Cover design by Amy Shoup; Acquired by Wendy Millstine; Edited by Brady Kahn

All Rights Reserved

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Kolakowski, Shannon.

When depression hurts your relationship : how to regain intimacy and reconnect with your partner when youre depressed / Shannon Kolakowski, PsyD.

pages cm

Includes bibliographical references.

ISBN 978-1-60882-832-6 (pbk. : alk. paper) -- ISBN 978-1-60882-833-3 (pdf e-book) -- ISBN 978-1-60882-834-0 (epub) 1. Emotions. 2. Intimacy (Psychology) 3. Man-woman relationships. 4. Self-actualization (Psychology) I. Title.

BF511.K65 2014

158.2--dc23

2013050531