Westen - 808 Conversation Starters for Couples

Text copyright 2016 Robin Westen. Design and concept copyright 2016 Ulysses Press and its licensors. All rights reserved. Any unauthorized duplication in whole or in part or dissemination of this edition by any means (including but not limited to photocopying, electronic devices, digital versions, and the Internet) will be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law. Published in the United States by: Ulysses Press P.O. Box 3440 Berkeley, CA 94703 www.ulyssespress.com ISBN: 978-1-61243-649-4 Library of Congress Control Number: 2016950666 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1 Acquisitions editor: Bridget Thoreson Managing editor: Claire Chun Project editor: Kourtney Joy Editor: Lauren Harrison Proofreader: Shayna Keyles Cover design: Rebecca Lown Interior design: what!design @ whatweb.com Images: plate Djem/shutterstock.com; couple Oksana Petrova/shutterstock.com; fireworks rungrote/shutterstock.com Distributed by Publishers Group West IMPORTANT NOTE TO READERS: This book is an independent and unauthorized publication.

No endorsement or sponsorship by or affiliation with movies, celebrities, products, or other copyright and trademark holders is claimed or suggested. All references in this book to copyrighted or trademarked characters and other elements of movies and products are for the purpose of commentary, criticism, analysis, and literary discussion only. Ask the right questions, and the answers will always reveal themselves. Oprah Winfrey Table of Contents

CONTENTS Communication seems to be easier than ever. Theres no shortage of options, from texting and email to Snapchat, Facebook, and Instagram. But this is the reality: when it comes to digging deeper and getting to the heart and soul of another being, well, were pretty out of practice.

How often have you sat across from your partner and heard the same old, same old? Or maybe youre the one asking the superficial and routine questions: How was your day? How do you feel? What do you want for dinner? What should we watch? Sound familiar? Maybe too familiar? Its no wonder most of us have tuned out, andsadlysometimes turned off. Thats why Ive written 808 Conversations Starters for Couples. The questions offered on the following pages will help partners to dig deeper, unlock secrets, reveal passions, engage desires, and ultimately gain trust and intimacy. Just imagine how a relationship can grow by learning something new about the person youve known for only a few weeks or for even decades. Thats the power of thought-provoking, open-ended questions. They get us to dig deep, examine our motives, review our personal histories, crack our hearts open, and answer with honesty andif were even luckierrevelation.

But thats only half the picture. The other place to put your attention is in the arena of listening. Youll need to be fully present. Nobody wants to speak if the person on the receiving end is distracted, dismissive, or unresponsive. The truth is, listening is as powerful as asking. Thats why before you begin this endeavor, vow to stay receptive and respectful.

No answer should be dissed or denied. If you have doubts about the response, allow yourself to follow through, but from a place of curiosity and caring. With this in mind, prepare yourself to reach a new level of trust and loving with your partner. And who doesnt want that? Lets say youre getting a tattoo inked in a prominent place. What does it look like? You can have one wish granted. What is it? Mini Quiz Youre dying for a bowl of breakfast cereal, but after pouring it out, you discover theres no milk.

What to do? a) Eat it dry and crunchy. b) Go to the store for milk. c) Pour it back in the box and stop off for breakfast somewhere. If your clothes send a message about who you are, what are yours saying? How would you describe your relationship with your mother? And your father? If you could invite any living person to share a private spa weekend with you, who would it be and why? Mini Quiz For you, having two relationships going on at once would be: a) Out of the question. b) Confusing. c) Cool, as long as everyone felt comfortable with the situation. Is fame something you want? If yes, how would you like to be known? If no, why not? Whos your BFF? What are his or her qualities? You open your door and find a super-cute kitten sitting on the welcome mat. Is fame something you want? If yes, how would you like to be known? If no, why not? Whos your BFF? What are his or her qualities? You open your door and find a super-cute kitten sitting on the welcome mat.

What do you do? Describe your best night ever. You win a plane ticket to go anywhere in the world. Where do you want to land? What makes it so appealing? Which actor gets major props from you? Why?